Well, it’s fast approaching. Paddy’s day. the 17th of March.
I soon shall be kicking off my celebrations. Starting tonight. and they shall proceed for the next 4 days.
so here’s a pint raised to all of you.
And now, I’m off to get very, very drunk.
what’s this op title? What’s going on…TALK AMERICAN YOU FRIGGIN’ FOREIGNER.
Deutschland Uber Alles!
jar
Slainte
St. Patricks has been a bad memory day for me in the past, but I believe I’ve shaken it off. I shall get inebriated in your honour, you weirdo Irish boy.
Slàinte Mhath Twisty. 
<---- the grin smiley used to be green… use your imagination.
My preparations began last night - I went to the store and bought a case of grape soda.
?!?
Purple artificial coloring makes your poop turn green. Everything’s normal, just green. I like to think I contribute in my own, special way.
I purposly set back the start date for my new job for next Monday so I could devote the proper time and resources to my celebration:).
(I did go in the office for a bit yesterday to fill out some paperwork)
Im drinking a Guinness right now and listening to inordinately loud Irish (Scottish actually) music while I try to figure out the tune to a partiucular Old Blind Dogs song.
go raibh mha agut (sorry Im not feeling like finding the fada’s atm, Guinness and whistles are more important:D)
And a feline paddywhack bean dip to you, too.
I’ll have an Irish 7-course meal on Sunday: A bowl of Lucky Charms and a six pack.
Twisty, only four days of drinking to celebrate St. Paddy’s? Are you going teetotal or something on us? Ah, bless yourself regardless!
i will be at an altan concert on saturday. i’ll have to brush up on gaelic really fast.
I wish I was doing something. I’m just dyeing my hair green. Nothing surprising, I’ve done green alot, mostly without reason.
I wanted to go to the Dropkick Murphys St. Paddy’s Day Shows. Sold out. Too far away. Damn. 
Looks a some soda, hair dye, SDMB, and good ol’ Irish punk rock. Whee.
Have a grand time, to my 2nd favorite Irish John.
Ah Paddy’s wkend
I’ve been training my elbow for 2 weeks now so I’ll be up for this wkend.
Party tonight, Fat Boy Slim concert on Saturday and then major piss up Sunday followed by a day in bed on Monday.
Paddy’s wkend rocks
To Irish everywhere. Have a very good one and don’t for the love of Christ drink any green Guinness :eek: keep it natural.
Have a great time Twisty and hopefully you find a Lita for the weekend. 
And unlike Anahita, I can safely say you are my favorite Irish John.
Survived Night number 1.
Several Bars, Guinness and Vodka followed by a drunken ramble around Copper Faced Jacks ( nightclub, patronised by the loosest women this side of a Foreign Legion Brothel. ).
Drunken shenanigans followed. Data missing.
Apparently, I was sending text messages quoting 70’s easy listening favourites.
Arguement with friend. Data missing.
Sore cranium this morning.
Tonight, A party. Updates to follow tomorrow.Must remember to buy shares in Paracetemol companies.
St. Patrick’s Day: the one day of the year when the 2% of the world’s population that’s Irish gets the other 98% completely shitfaced.
Leg 1: 7 a.m. to 9 a.m.
Rise and shine early. Take a long, hot shower, and liberally use aftershave, perfume, cologne, deodorant and powders afterwards, because by 3 p.m., you will be excreting raw alcohol and other poisons, and without proper preparations, you will smell like a three-day dead cat wrapped in a fraternity carpet. The bars open at 9, so use this time to prepare.
Collect the following supplies and put them in a place where you will easily be able to find it in an impaired condition. We recommend the bathroom floor, between the toilet and the baseboard heater, since that’s where you’ll probably end up:
1 quart spring water
1 bottle aspirin
5 pairs Depends undergarment
1 bottle Percocet
1 gram morphine sulphate
1 oz. human adrenaline extract
1 precharged electric defibrillator
4 Cardiac needles
1 trauma surgeon
Brew a strong pot of coffee. Add 9 oz. Jameson Irish whiskey, drink. Note that coffee should be drunk liberally throughout the day.
There is a reason that the Irish invented Irish Coffee; unless you ingest a large volume of artificial stimulants throughout the course of St. Patrick’s Day, you are going to die.
Arrange to be picked up to be taken to the bar by 8:45 a.m. We cannot stress enough that you should not drink and drive. There is no reason to chance losing your license or killing someone in a drunken state when you have plenty of idiot friends willing to take that risk on your behalf.
Leg 2: 9 a.m. to 11 a.m.
Arrive at the bar right when it opens. Make sure this is an Irish bar if at all possible. An Irish bar in Boston is the best alternative, since Boston in Gaelic means West Kilarney. However, almost every city in America has bars called The Blarney Stone, McSomethings, or The Dirty Mick. Just try to ignore the fact that the bar is probably owned by Koreans. Secure a barstool and do not leave it under any circumstances.
The bar is liable to be packed by noon, and real Irish people do not wait in line for drinks, no matter what the consequences. While we do recommend the use of an adult undergarment to mask unpleasant smells, it really doesn’t matter. By afternoon, you’ll be sopping wet with spilled beer anyway, and your mild urine smell will be completely overpowered by the toxic stench of vomit.
We recommend starting out with a few more Irish Coffees to spike the stimulant level, however, you should not order an “Irish Coffee,” as you will be given a fruity little glass mug topped with whipped cream and a cherry, and some guy named Seamus will call you a yuppie poseur while putting a cigarette out on your neck. Ask for coffee with whiskey and ask the bartender to leave the whipped cream can, as nothing will add spice to your day like the occasional whippet.
Leg 3: 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.
It’s lunchtime! You may not be hungry, but it’s important to eat something, because like Sheriff Bart said in Blazing Saddles:" Man drink like that,and don’t eat, he is going to die." If you want to maintain your buzz and not get that hideous, bloated feeling that could slow down your drinking, there are only two options: popcorn or Pop Tarts. Both have the carbohydrates you’ll need to give you energy, both will soak up excess bile in your stomach, and both have names that are hard to slur. If you start slurring your words too early, you’ll hear the most frightening phrase in the English language on St. Patrick’s Day besides I’m pregnant: “You’re cut off”.
By now, you should switch off of coffee drinks to beer. You have only one option here: Guinness stout. You may be tempted to order green beer, but remember: beer doesn’t always turn green because of food coloring.
Leg 3: 2 p.m. to 7 p.m.
By now, the bar is definitely crowded as people take long lunches and bail out of work early to tie one on. If you’re doing your job correctly, the bar should look twice or three times as crowded as it really is.
By now, you may be in conversation with some real Irish people, since the person you came with has likely been taken away by ambulance. Some conversational points to remember when talking to the Irish are:
“Ga” means gaelic football and Football really means Soccer, and you should be more passionate about it than you are about your wife or husband, . If you remember this as well at least three derogatory names for Margaret Thatcher, you can talk to the Irish for hours.
You should continue to drink Guinness throughout this leg, although you may want to have another Irish Coffee if your heartbeat has become irregular.
The Home Stretch: 7 p.m. to Closing
Your goal, of course, is to be the last person to leave the bar at closing time. This will be impossible, since a blood alcohol content of .50 usually equals death, and you should be pushing a .35 or .40 by now.
The only way for a true Irishman to leave a bar before closing time with honor is to be hauled away by the police. Throw a punch. It doesn’t matter who you hit or why; no one’s made any sense since 3 o’clock, anyway. You will be beaten mercilessly, since your fine motor control has been gone since the late morning, but it doesn’t matter since you can’t feel anything.
Depending on your community, the police should arrive within fifteen minutes to scrape you off the floor and clap you in irons.
The final impression you leave is the most important: as you are being dragged from the bar, begin screaming that you want to take your drink with you. You will be a legend, and by now the friend who took you to the bar should have had his or her stomach pumped, and will be able to bail you out.
By following these simple guidelines, your St. Patrick’s Day experience would be one you would never forget if it weren’t physically and biologically impossible for you to remember any of it. Tune in next month for our next self- help guide: The Pros and Cons of Waking Up Naked In a Dumpster.
Twisty. I love you!
You forgot to mention that early on you will have trouble with the accents, and later on you will be speaking with one!
Slante my friend (where are my accent marks?)
I call dibs on pics!
Crazy Irish. And this is from a pale-skinned redhead who listens to Clannad and liked ‘The Quiet Man’.
As nostalgic as we may be for the Old Sod, the most moving sentence in Gaelic is Scots, not Irish. Alistair MacDonald at the Battle of Culloden in April 1746: “My God, my God, have the children of my own name deserted me?” What we have lost will never be conjured back from the label of a whiskey bottle or a pot of stout. Nonetheless, Up the Irish!