I think you and **msmith537 **may be disagreeing on the definition of romancing.
K, I’ll bite. What sort of romance could one display to a complete stranger that wouldn’t come off creepy or cheesy?
I have a buddy that does this move and it occasionally works for him. He does it because he’s too lazy to txt girls so he just gives them his number and figures if they’re interested they’ll call. If they call it’s the biggest signal of interest ever so it’s pretty much guaranteed they have sex.
Reasons why it works for him:
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he only does it on girls that are interested in him, so he has a ton of eyefucking going on before doing it, he’s not picking total random strangers and ninja flipping out of the bushes throwing a paper at them which is what I suspect a lot of people replying in this thread are picturing even though the OP describes having eye contact first
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he’s tall, smiles a lot, is good looking, and always has girls all over him so other girls can tell he’s catch and girls like him so he’s not some creepy desperate loser
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he doesn’t care if she calls or not. And most don’t, not necessarily because they aren’t interested but because girls are shy to make the first move. More would add him to Facebook than actually call but Facebook is stupid so he doesn’t waste his time with that haha
I don’t do this move because I don’t like random unknown numbers txting/calling. He runs into that a lot, where he has to ask her a few Qs to figure out which girl it is.
For online girls like on PoF his first email to them is you’re cute, here’s my number, txt if you want to hang out. And this works surprisingly well, but 1) he’s tall and good looking which is a big plus for online stuff and 2) he messages 18-25yos on thurs/fri/sat during the day who are more likely to be up for bringing their friends out to whatever bar we’re at to all party together. It wouldn’t work nearly as consistently online if he was ugly, short, or going for 30+yos
- TWTTWN
I was using the term “romance” loosely. Basically, most women don’t want to be treated like a slut who will just bang some guy who hands them a card. Usually you have to make at least some effort of being charming or witty or something.
I mean unless you just exude Brad Pitt awesomeness.
Of course, digits spamming girls is a low effort, low cost, lot hit rate pickup method, but theoretically you are statistically likely to score now and then. Personally, I prefer a more managed approach where she gives me her number (usually after we have already made out) and I can choose whether to call or not.
You goddamn Six Sigma types just have to use it for EVERYTHING, don’t you? 
(please don’t discuss defect rates)
Actually, if some guy had been making eyes at me all night from across the room, and then walks up to me and without a word hands me his card and walks away, I’d find that even more bizarre. Either this is a guy who’s socially clueless on a never-leaves-mom’s-basement level, or he really is so arrogant that it’s basically a “you know you want me” move. Either way it’s basically a big neon sign that he doesn’t give two shits who I am or what I’m like, he just wants to get laid and saw that I’m female, which is not much of an accomplishment.
Either way, still wouldn’t call. I don’t have time to educate fully grown adults on social niceties.
That’s what it is. The line between arrogance and confidence is very thin, but he knows the difference.
:rolleyes: He also tends to only approach women who are smiling and look like they would be fun people to interact with so that probably helps.
- TWTTWN
Then why not… oh, I dunno… interact with them?
There’s no need to be sarcastic/hostile. But to follow your lead: Spoken like a girl who’s never had a penis and tried to pick up a girl.
- He’s on his way somewhere
- She’s on her way somewhere
- He’s busy with something more important than talking to a girl
- She’s busy with something more important than talking to a boy
- She’s there with a bunch of her male friends who will get jealous
- She’s there with a bunch of her female friends who will test him
- She’s there with her boyfriend/husband
- She’s there with friends who know she has a boyfriend/husband at home
- She’s there with ugly female friends who will get jealous that they aren’t getting hit on and cockblock
- She’s there with male White Knight friends who don’t understand that pulling a girl’s pigtails is flirting and he’ll have to deal with them “rescuing” her from having sex with him
- He likes the challenge
- He’s lazy
- He thinks it’s funny
- It creates mystery/intrigue
- He thinks if she doesn’t think it’s funny then she might not have the sense of humor he likes
- It’s ballsy/cocky and if he can tell the girl will probably respond to that, it’s better than beating around the bush talking about the weather
- He can tell she wants sex from how she’s dressed/acting, but she has a reputation to uphold as an innocent angel with her friends so he wants to be in and out subtly so she doesn’t feel like a slut
- It stands out because pretty much no guy does it
- If he sees her again at the same place in a few weeks and the situation is more optimal for having an interaction he can playfully bust on her for not calling and they can easily expand on the eye-contact flirting they were doing
- He doesn’t have a wingman handy to occupy the rest of her group or have sex with her friend
…that’s just off the top of my head. I would like to live in the world where all you do to attract a woman is say “Hi, my name is TWTTWN, what are your interests? That’s fascinating, my interests are this. Looks like we have enough in common, let’s go on a date!” but there are usually a lot of other factors involved. 
- TWTTWN
doublepost! I don’t know how to delete this haha
Just started reading this thread this morning, and have been agreeing with Kaio all along, but this nails my pov exactly.
I’m 41 and not single, but if I was the above applies. Especially the last sentence.
The boyfriend before the Current Beau was mid 40s to my late thirties, had a grand total of 2 girlfriends in his life, (I was the second) and the previous relationship had ended 10 years earlier after13 months of dating. I spent a frustrating amount of time teaching him rather obvious things about relationships. He was a truly nice guy, just not boyfriend material. Which is too bad, he deserves someone nice, but in the end I got tired of working through late teens/early 20s relationship stages. I already had a marriage, a child and a house. I needed different things than he did.
Who do you hang out with that you expect random jealousy and drama-fests just by talking to someone?? (And why would you want to date someone surrounded by jealousy and drama?)
What are the things you had to teach him?
Well, things about time, promptness and keeping people waiting. For instance if he was already late (which would happen at times because of the nature of his work) and he was supposed to be coming to meet me and my toddler son for lunch or supper, no he shouldn’t stop and get McDonalds, because he thought we would have eaten already. I had invited him for supper! After half an hour I let my son eat, but waited until he arrived. An hour and a half later he shows up having stopped at McD’s instead of being merely an hour late and having supper with me. After almost a year and a half he would still do this, but if we were eating at my house I would go ahead and eat.
He didn’t realize his impotence and refusal to see a doctor about it would be a problem for me.
He didn’t realize that when I had a rare Saturday night off, and he did too, that I might actually like to see him. Instead he tells me later about how boring his night was and he missed me. I did almost all of the scheduling of dates in that relationship, “I have x, y, and z days available, X we can get a babysitter and go out, and you are welcome to come over y or z nights for supper/movie… whatever. Which if any nights are YOU available?” I got tired of that.
Reading this, I am seeing it is socially clueless not just the relationship things. There were relationship things too, like I needed him to be my date for a family wedding, but he couldn’t/wouldn’t reschedule a “twice a month, but not any set in stone weekend” weekend to work," or he didn’t invite me to a cast party (with people I know and like, who like me, and I had socialized with previously, even though others brought spouses/girlfriends boyfriends.) “I didn’t realize I should, I am new at this girlfriend stuff” was a common refrain. It got really old after a year and a half.
But I might have toughed it out, except the sex stuff. 37 is not dead.
Hot socially outgoing girls in their prime. That’s why they have jealousy and drama-fests around them, all the guys they know think they have dibs on her or need to protect her from other guys and all their girlfriends get less attention because they’re not as hot so they start drama. Ugly/average girls generally don’t have this problem, though most average chicks have at least a couple “had a crush on you for years but I’m stuck in the friend zone” orbiter guys they’ve grown up with.
Because they’re hot.
- TWTTWN
Your “friend”, huh?
Yes. …? :dubious:
- TWTTWN
I wouldn’t call it creepy, but it would probably make me somewhat uncomfortable. But I wouldn’t think someone was a jerk just for handing me his contact info. It’s straight to the point, no pressure, I can respect that.
I’m good-looking enough that people finding me attractive is not ‘flattering’. It’s par for the course.
But even if this total stranger was unusually attractive and I was interested because of that, Single Me would never give him a call. I also can’t imagine calling or giving my number to some guy I only met and spoke with for a short time that same day. I like to get to know people pretty well before I consider dating them (as in months of frequent interactions). I like reserved, selective men (and I am also reserved and selective) and all I can think of when guys express sexual/romantic interest in me right away is that they probably do the same with every halfway attractive girl. Basically, it makes me judge them as sluts. Men being attracted to a lot of other people, or having sex with a lot of other people, is a huge personal turn-off.
I have perfected the art of being standoffish so thankfully I rarely have to navigate these situations.
Depends. I’ve found it both flattering and creepy, depending on the context. But even when it’s flattering, I’ve only ever been tempted to call the guy once. He was extremely nice and charming, but his car turned me off (this happened while I was waiting for a bus, and the car was pimped out with neon blue lights and blasting music loudly enough to make the doors rattle). It might have been unfair of me, but I only talked to him for two minutes before he took off, so I didn’t really have much to go on.
I suppose that’s the problem with just chatting a girl up and handing her your number within the space of a few minutes. She doesn’t have a whole lot to go on, so you’ll have to make an extremely good impression for her to want to call you back.
Well, I’m married, so I can only answer as if I were single - in which case, I would prefer he ask me for my number. Handing me his number smacks of him giving me a homework assignment: “call me.”
That said, I would be flattered either way, because Single Panda is easy like that.
No. Single Panda doesn’t call guys, they call her.