Ladies and Gentlemen, Children of all Ages, it's the SDMB Circus

What act will you sign up to do and what act do you not want to do.


I’d like to be a trapeze artist. I’m afraid of heights so that may be a problem.
There are two acts I wouldn’t do.

Clown (obviously, although the idea of traumatizing children has a certain appeal)
Drive the motorcycle in that steel ball. Man I’d be puking in seconds.
Who want’s to run away and join the circus?

Oooh, can I be whip-cracking circus owner Joan Crawford in Berserk?

Ooooooh…I love “Berserk.”

Circus gig, huh? Maybe a magician’s assistant. Do circuses have them? I’ve never been to one (big prob with the cruelty to animals thing…). I could be sawed in half, or disappear (hang out under the stage smoking a doobie or something, I’m sure). Or I could be the person who stuffs doves into the sleeves of the magician before the show.

Dibs on the poodle act!

MPSIMS has a big top just begging for this thread. I’ll move it on over.


I’ll join up as another trapeze artist. Been there, done the knee hang (hock style), got the photo to prove it!

My brothers and I were at Club Med, they had a trapeze rig, and the guests who got their tricks down were invited to join the trapeze show. My next year there, I went into the show.

Nothing’s quite as good on a fear of heights or of falling as the adrenaline rush of a well-done trapeze trick.

Sounds like fun – I’ll do it.

Oh! Oh! I wanna be the magician! I’ll be like a cool new magician, cirque de soleil style, not one of those old style ones.

(On the side, I’ll be one of the people who makes sure that the animals are treated well.)

I don’t want to sell popcorn, or be a clown (too much makeup! :stuck_out_tongue: )

Juggling is my specialty. Clubs, fire, bills, jobs, schedules, rapid bunnies, you name it.

Sure, I’m game! Lesse…ok, I’ll be the guy who uses a Hilti gun to nail barbed wire to his genitals, ties the barbed wire to a couple of bowling balls, and smacks them up and down like a set of Kerbangers, 'k?

I mean, unless someone else already called dibs on that one.


Oh, wait…wrong circus.

I wanna be billed as The World’s Tallet Midget


The World’s Smallest Giant.

As a versitile performer, I feel up to either role. :wink:

Since the magician job is already taken, I’ll be the mentalist.

“Swami Balance sees All, knows All, and tells A Damnsight More!”

I would like to do a highwire act. Ironic, as I have a fear of being suspended in air.
Or one of those amazingly limber acrobats. :smiley:

This thread needs that clown music.

I want to ride a unicycle on the high wire.

with no net below, it’s all about the risks, baby. :smiley:

I’m qualified to operate a pushbroom, so I guess I get to follow the elephants around.

Or would I need a snowshovel for that?

Oooo, over here.

I can do rope tricks, maybe even on a horse (never tried an elephant).

I’d also like to be the knife thrower.
Are there any lady dopers who are willing to wear a heavily sequined, yet very revealing leotard and let me thrown knives at them?

m[SIZE=4][sup]U[/sup][FONT=Arial Narrow]Ladies and Gentlemen - children of all ages…

The incredible meek the Human Cannonball
will now attempt to be shot out of a cannon - risking life and limb…
all for your amusement…

Drum roll

h S
é[/FONT][/SIZE][sup] < happy now?[/sup]

Give me the lions, tigers, and other large kitties. Play something nice by Mozart or Strauss, and let us fulfill one another in the dance. :wink: