Never started. Never even been super drunk (stumbling, blacking out, unable to remember, vomiting, etc). Really have no desire to, either.
Mind you, I like get-togethers, holidays parties, work parties, cast parties, etc. I’m not a COMPLETE shut in. Particularly wild house parties or anything like that where you know maybe 2 people out of 50 have never, ever been my thing, though.
I think you’re reading your own agenda into what I said.
True, I’ve never had STD’s - I’ve also have very few sex partners which some people would view as a tragically lonely state.
I have undoubtedly missed out on some fun times, even if by not “partying” I’ve also missed some unpleasantness.
Hangovers are preventable if you never drink alcohol or do drugs so those are, actually, preventable.
But carry on with your recreational outrage if it makes you feel better.
No, she’s not, but not engaging in certain behaviors definitely reduces the chances of certain other unpleasant things happening.
If I had a dime for every time I’ve heard someone say, “But s/he wouldn’t be that way with me!”, I’d be wealthy. I’ll admit to saying it a few times myself.
As for me, I found out very quickly that being in a place and around people whose #1 priority was getting wasted as badly and as often as possible was not my idea of a good time.
I didn’t call you out about hangovers; I very specifically called you out about rape, stalking, and abuse. And I gave you a chance to take it back, but you’ve now doubled and tripled down. So let’s put this in terms of something that affects you. You’re rightfully pissed that some don’t give enough consideration to the risks you’re taking at work: https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=894057 How would you react if someone wandered into that thread and flippantly mentioned they “never had to worry about” COVID-19 because they never went to China? Would you shrug it off as having gone to China IS in fact a risk factor? Or would you be angry because this person is 1) implying that your fear is unreasonable, 2) falsely framing outcome you fear as avoidable and entirely within your control, 3) spreading misinformation that could lead others to take your plight less seriously and even put you at greater risk of harm, and 4) talking out of their ass about something they clearly don’t understand and refuse to be educated on?
Oh and your “recreational outrage” remark is dismissive and uncalled-for. You don’t know what motivates me or how genuinely revolting I find your statements.
Wow, even the phrasing sounds quaint. ‘Ladies when did you stop partying’. Well kind sire, just as soon as I found myself a nice man to look after me and give me housekeeping.
Christ.
I’m with you, for the record, Esprise.
There’s a bunch of stuff we shouldn’t do if we want to avoid all threats, like, leave the house. There’s nothing particularly smug-worthy about never having enjoyed partying.
Since I’ve never tried it I have no idea if I would enjoy it or not - not sure where you think I’m being smug about it. For all I know I’m missing the best thing ever.
My course of action definitely has its downsides - more social isolation, a smaller network of contacts, less cultural literacy…
In my early twenties, pretty much. I didn’t miss it. I don’t like the feeling of being drunk or high, which is most of the enjoyment for most people, along with blindingly loud music and crowds of strangers. Easy to skip those too.
When someone resists your assertions multiple times, it does not necessarily follow that your assertion is correct.
Going to public places and meeting strangers does expose you to all sorts of things, from fun times and new friends to yes, criminals, pickpockets, druggies, and all manner of other things.
If you have read anything at all on pick-up artists, incels, and other self-entitled nasty people you’ll realize that they do in fact target women for everything from attempted hook-ups to attacks at places where they perceive women are “loose” or a “tease” or whatever thing they’re calling it these days. Drug dealers are looking for customers in such places and they aren’t too careful about what they’re selling or what it is cut with. Sex with multiple partners increases your risk of STD’s, and the more partners the more risk. Roofies are used by unsavory people at such gatherings, to the point people are told to carefully guard any drinks they buy and not to accept drinks from strangers.
These are all facts. If you go to “parties” as described in the OP you are, in fact, running those risks. For many, the benefits outweigh the risks. For me… loud music and crowds have never been appealing to me, I drink moderately if at all, and don’t use recreational drugs. So where are the benefits for me? Not much. Therefore, for me, not much appeal and not the sort of risks I care to run.
I have had friends who thoroughly enjoyed the party scene. I know one lady who enjoys bondage and one night stands. These were, by and large, aware and careful people but nonetheless I saw bad things happen to them. Nothing too horrific, but pick pocketing, harassment from men who know what the word “no” means, STD’s, pregnancy scares, and so forth were things that happened. They still went out and partied. Fine, they were informed adults and they could certainly make their own choices.
If you get so worked up that someone else chooses a different path and sees an upside to it I’d suggest some self-reflection.
This is the opinion forum. I gave my opinion. You gave yours. That’s how it works. This is not the “force your opinion on other people” forum.
Why are you presuming that you have changed my opinion at all? You’ve given me no reason to do so. Can you provide proof that all the things I mentioned do not happen at parties/raves/whatever?
I’m sorry you’re so upset at my pointing out that choices have risks attached to them.
Wander into the thread? I have them wander into real life every day I go to work.
In fact, avoiding China does eliminate one of many risk factors. I would point out to those folks that it is not the only risk factor right now. In January they might have had a good point, and it’s only two months later.
On the job I can’t change their opinion and I am being paid, in part, to be polite even to idiots, ignoramuses, and crazy people. That’s why I come to the SD’s BBQ Pit to bitch about them.
If you want to bitch about my opinions in the Pit you are welcome to do so. You would not be the first, I assure you. But you have given me no reason here to change my mind.
You don’t know what motivates me or how condescending I find your responses.
If you don’t warn people about potential risks you’re not helping them avoid those risks.
You want to party? OK. Here are my suggestions for a more enjoyable and safer experience:
If something bad does happen to a person the blame is on the bad person who hurt them, not the person who is the victim. But just as I would caution someone approaching the edge of a cliff about the danger I would also caution someone entering into any situation with risks. YMMV, I guess.
Can we return to how this is a weird and somewhat offensive question to ask?
Yes, it was weird and condescending. Would you like to elaborate on how you perceive it to be weird and offensive? My typing fingers are getting tired.
And yet, despite all of that, despite me never having been a stereotypical “party girl”, I’ve been creepily hit on more times than I can count, usually just outside my apartment or while taking solo walks around the neighborhood. The worst case I’ve personally had is a guy who wouldn’t leave me alone for weeks on end because he spotted me daring to scrap ice off the windshield of my car. He’s the reason I have a container of pepper gel on me whenever I go out.
Yeah, sometimes stalkers and creeps show up at bars and clubs. A LOT of the time they don’t, however. And it’s not like women who go out often don’t have a designated driver or girl friends looking after them (the few times I have gone out and gotten tipsy, I was at the bar my brother manages, meaning I know someone there and feel comfortable going to him with an issue). Women take safeguards - often those exact ones you mentioned. Don’t act like we don’t know that. Sadly, they’re often just not enough for the determined fuckwads of the world. And that isn’t me placing blame on those women a ALL like it feels you are. You can’t foresee these kinds of things, not if you party without an issue 99% of the time.
I don’t find the initial question too offensive, although it is a bit weird (why not a general, “Who here is a partier?” question?). I find the obvious victim-blaming to be plenty offensive though. Like women are just asking for shit to happen because they go out to have a good time with friends.
Yes, believe it or not, women KNOW all of those. I’m not sure why you seem to think you’re introducing some novel ideas. We know. Why do you think women are already less likely to do hook ups than men are? Why women already go out with friends and rarely go out partying alone? God, this reads are so incredibly condescending. Like I’m supposed to go, “Why golly gee, Mr. Boomstick Man - I never thought about **not **accepting drinks from strangers, before! My hero!”
It’s no big mystery. I’m a 55-year-old man who is casually dating a 27-year-old woman. My definition of “partying” is based on what her lifestyle is like. I’m not a partyer and never have been. I just want to get some idea of how long I might have to wait until she settles down and is ready for a more responsible, adult lifesyle that’s appropriate for marriage and family.
Nobody can mansplain quite like Broomsick.
Uhhh….then why date a 27 year old?
Statistically speaking, that is about the age that a lot of women tend to start looking to get married. Then again, that’s a statistic.
And are we talking about “settling down” from hanging out with her friends at clubs, etc, or is she an alcoholic / drug addict?
A good round of cribbage ALWAYS makes the party.
Never started. But I have been date raped. In the office by my boss while I was sober…so…and I’ve had an STD, got it from my ex-husband who slept around, I didn’t. I’ve had stalkers too, again, work related. Despite not really ever having partied. I did get hangover sick once in college, and have never been more than tipsy since - but nothing bad happened to me except I threw up in the Iowa River and felt like hell the next day. Work has been a bigger factor in Broomstick’s list of things she hasn’t worried about from not partying than my social life ever was. Maybe I should have just not worked…