What are you talking about? I always thought Broomstick was a woman.
There’s no guarantee that avoiding A will absolutely prevent B from happening, but there are some things that people should do (or not do) if they want to reduce the chances of B happening.
This reminds me of a cartoon I’ve seen a few times over the years where a couple is in bed, and the woman says, “You’re not like the gay Haitian junkies I used to date!” and the man’s eyes are the size of saucers.
Well, one hates to assign labels but that was in fact the meat of the jape. Might have missed the mark, though. I haven’t been getting out much lately.
I thought broomstick was a woman. tmyk…
Why would you want to marry someone who doesn’t enjoy spending time doing the stuff you like to do?
This seems a strange position to take, especially since there have been numerous threads that put forth the idea that nothing a woman can do can reduce her risk of potential downsides.
I met my wife when I was 17 and she was 18. I went to a club with her precisely once. Hated every last second of it and have never gone again. So I actually stopped before I was legally allowed to start but never mind.
She still continued to go with her friends at the weekend on and off for many years, when when she did I politely declined and went to the pub with my mates instead and met up with her the next day for a quieter meal and drink with friends.
She also never came to watch me play football even though I played for over 30 years. She just had no interest.
We’ve been together over 30 years and married for nearly 26. You do need enough in common to bond you but having very separate interests in some areas is perfectly natural and healthy as well.
Quite true. The phrase “opposites attract” makes sense when you realize it doesn’t mean complete opposites. It’s best to have some things in common, but not everything in common.
Yeah, I think it is the mis-match in expectation that does the damage rather than the specific amount of shared or solitary activities.
Couples should be concerned if they don’t share *anything *but other than that…go with whatever you both can feel comfortable with.
My wife made it clear from the off that she would certainly not be stopping going to clubs just because I hated them. Quite right too! She wouldn’t force me to go and I wouldn’t prevent her from going. Mutual respect and space worked well for us.
Yeah, that’s perfectly reasonable. You share other stuff, and your also have separate interests. But the op seems to want his girlfriend to change into someone more suitable for him. That seems misguided.
Are you unfamiliar with “marriage”?
Funny like “ha ha” funny, or like “oh, I see” funny?
Because I’m kind of thinking the later. I always assumed that a significant, if not most people liked to “party” on some level starting around high school. Starting if with hanging out over a friends house sneaking beers when their parents go away. Then off to college where things get a bit crazy with fraternity parties and keggers and spring break. Then in your 20s people go clubbing and bar hopping and house/apartment parties until gradually calming down as you get older. Certainly everyone isn’t doing drugs or getting blackout drunk every night. But “hey do you want to grab some drinks” or “a bunch of us are going clubbing tonight” is more or less “normal” to me.
Quite frankly, responses like “I’ve never partied ever because that’s how people get date raped” or “no, I mostly like to drink home made stuff at home” are a little odd to me.
Yeah I think the same as you and had similar experiences. People on here are often from a different background and it seems sometimes they think their experiences were more the norm, when they really weren’t.
Well, to answer the question for both sexes, based on the experiences of my friends, many of whole like to “party”, people who really enjoy partying when they are young adults continue to do it as they get older, but as their other responsibilities build up, they don’t do it as much as they did when they were young. But I remember going to a wedding once, and overhearing some young adults talking about my aunt, who was then in her 70s. They said, “wow, I hope I can party that hard when I’m middle aged.”
The answer might be ‘never’. Are you going to wait 30 years to find out?
If you’re going to go out with someone more than young enough to be your daughter, then you are ALWAYS going to have mismatches in experience and interests - and life stages. You either accept that and leave her to ‘party’ without you, or move on. You certainly don’t wait around for her to change (or worse, try to change her).
You’re 55? Yeah, you don’t have that long. She’ll party until you get the message.
I read the “waiting for her to change” post, and I was about to say all of this, but y’all beat me to it, and said it better.
I was in this same situation. But when I realized I was waiting for someone to change into what I considered “normal” and “mature”, I was horrified at my shallowness and lack of acceptance of her. We ended up having a good talk about our expectations …and broke up.
I’ll wait until she’s 30. That’ll be 2-1/2 years from now.
Or…find a 30 something year old who wants what you want now?
Not that long then. I assume you’ve discussed this with her?
How long have you been dating?