I am talking about “secret admirers”
What with stalking paranoia these days and all, this lovely little piece of romance past time has been destroyed completely.
Any women here still believe in the good old-fashioned secret admirer schtick? (i.e. the healthy kind)
It backfired in my face once. What a nightmare. Don’t scare a South Philly Italian chick who has three older brothers…
Feeling the way I do about myself, I would be thrilled if I had a secret admirer.
Sadly, MSK, I’m afraid it had no choice…it would have been nice to have had a secret admirer and been able to blush and giggle and wonder who liked me without any fear or paranoia…however, that is no longer possible. Once upon a time, I was working nights (back when I was single) and came home in the morning, leaving with my dog for a walk. When I came back, there was a single rose tucked into the handle of my car door. I didn’t worry at first, because I figured Dad or Step-Dad, or maybe even brother. But they all denied it. Had no boyfriend, wasn’t working with or hanging out with anyone who could have done it…it was just kinda creepy to know that someone had been in my yard (I lived alone) and put something on my car without my knowing who it was and why they put it there…
Same thing for a girlfriend at work…guy left notes, flowers, etc. on her car at work for a couple of weeks before she found out who it was. Scared the livin’ crap out of her. Then she found out it was her brother’s best friend, very nice, but shy. Then it was okay and 10 years later, they are still happily married…but she almost killed him over the secret admirer thing…
“The hind that would be mated by the lion
Must die for love”
–As You Like It, Act 1, Scene i
I admire the two women who’ve posted in this thread.
Guess that’s no longer a secret.
Does this mean I’m gonna die?
Lord, I hope not! That would break my heart!
“I mean, that my heart unto yours is knit
So that but one heart we can make of it;
Two bosoms interchained with an oath;
So then two bosoms and a single troth.”
–A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act 2, Scene ii
Oh my! A man who recites Shakespeare! 
AudreyK–welcome to the DRY Fan Club–I’m president!
DRY,
Well, somebody has to play older brother:
Look, schmuck, I don’t want you messing around with my sister. You got that? If I so much as see your face around here, I’ll mess you up so bad that you’ll be sorry you were ever born. Now get the hell out of my sight. Is that so hard to understand? Do I gotta draw you a map?
I really enjoyed my last secret admirer.
He left Flowers, Twinkies & Dr. Pepper outside my apartment door with a note. (the note is very important. this is where you explain you are not a stalker, just someone with an interest & a romantic streak.) Obviously, due to the unusual assortment of items, it was someone who knew me. I thought it was sweet.
My intuition tells me that if you were to do this to someone, don’t make your bouquet all red roses - too intense, probably freaky. A nice mixed bouquet including roses would be good.
Admirers are a wonderful, sweet, romantic thing. Unfortunately, in this day and age, secrets are not. Especially when it gets too personal or too close to home.
Case in point - I have had two friends who have had secret admirers (a side rant - But I’ve never had one! <pout>). One left notes on her desk at work (she worked in a public library) and little things on her car, always with a note. She was flattered. The second friend had things left for her at her apartment door, during the night, with no note. She was terrified. Both turned out to be people they knew, both being friendly, but the second was too close to home - it’s scary to have someone you don’t know at your door in the middle of the night.
If someone were planning to do this, I would say:
I had a crush on a girl in high school. I never went so far as writing notes, so she never knew I was hers. I did hang with the same crowd, so we were friends.
I also found out where she lived and would pass by slowly in the middle of the night every once in a while. I never stopped nor tried to peer into any windows. But at one point, I thought about it from her perspective if she ever noticed the same truck passing her house slowly about once a week: a psycho! So I quit the drive-bys.
I didn’t see her after we graduated until our 10-year reunion. The fire was gone, and I was content to just be her friend.
On the opposite side: I knew girls in HS that I didn’t pay much mind to, even ones I thought had crushes on me. Later (in college), I saw them in a different light. Sadly, they saw me differently too.
If you admire someone, why be so secret about it? The “someone admires me” part gets sort of overshadowed by thte “someone could be watching me right now” part.
[shudder]
I’ll be your secret admirer, hon.
Oh…wait…damn! Sigh.
How about if I just admire you?
Fear of rejection. You do it secretly while you try to build up the nerve to talk to here. You have her on a pedestal and figure she'd laugh at you. You can't figure why she'd go out with you. No hurts. Laughing hurts real bad.Not being a romantic… I think that I would automatically rule out anyone (as a potential date) who didn’t have the nerve just to ask me out. Anyone who dates me has to have a lot of confidence. I would find an unsigned note or gift a little bit creepy.
However, that’s probably just me.
Nope, I agree with you. Confidence is very important to me, and I find it very sexy. Although very flattering, nameless gifts freak me out.
I’ll second this one. 