They’re not mutually exclusive. You can both be an idiot and the unfortunate victim of an attack. (Note: I’m specifically addressing the scenario in the OP; not your not-quite-apt analogy)
So, of the 50% of people who trade intimate media with relationship partners, how can we tell which ones are idiots?
I’d wager the ratio’s pretty damn close to 1:1. I’ll grant exemptions for those who aren’t concerned if those pics leak out.
Threadjack: You must be a Rush fan!
What gave it away? 
I like this new topic more anyway.
dear diary
today a thread that started out with a post blaming idiot women for going ahead and getting their slutty selves socially and sexually victimized got hijacked into a discussion of how great the band Rush is
this was so unsurprising to me that it actually caused a cracked monocle lying on the floor nearby to spontaneously anneal itself and spring unbidden onto my left eye
weather: muggy
Would your opinion on this change if she had been filmed secretly? That happens, you know.
So what’s different? That she enjoyed making the tape? How should that open her up to harassment?
This guy should go to jail. And there should be an effort to erase the stigma from people whose photos are distributed. Yes, she had sex. Most adults do that at some point in their life. It’s really not that big of a deal, and it’s really not anyone’s business.
So that’d be “the women”, then?
:rolleyes:
I tried reporting a bunch of these posts, but I keep getting “mailbox full” auto replies. What’s up w that?
No, and I’m at a complete loss as to how you arrived at that conclusion. Anyone who sends naked pictures of themselves, when it would be hazardous to do so if they leaked out, is an idiot.
Gender is not a factor in this. Idiocy is not a sex-specific trait.
No one should have to put up with that kind of harassment. Full stop. This is criminal (and ex should be punished to the fullest extent of the law if found guilty).
At the same time, I think one should at least give a nod to taking responsibility for personal prevention.
I work for a Global 50 corporation and I self censor occasionally on stuff that isn’t work related but could nonetheless be misconstrued if it was under my real name and I actually posted it. And certainly self censor of things under NDA or not even under NDA but would be considered proprietary information. When I lived in China, I self censored myself occasionally on these boards. No one forced me, threatened me but it seemed prudent. I even will confess to occasionally not speaking my mind to my wife as that seems the prudent course even if I’m selling out my own personal code.
In the article, if it can be proven to be the boyfriend, it is unacceptable harassment. That said, if those pix and videos didn’t exist, then the women in question also wouldn’t have gone through this hell. I don’t know how to phrase this properly PC wise or apportion responsibility, but she inadvertently or deliberately contributed at least in a small part to enabling the mess. or am I looking at this wrongly?
What, like Ms. Anthony Weiner?
You’re not, and you worded it far better than I could have. Enable’s a good word, as this was entirely preventable by virtue of not doing idiotic things that could come back and bite you in the ass hard, especially if you have a line of work highly dependent on image.
With that said, this is undoubtedly harassment and there is no excusing that asshole’s behavior, as it was harassment (which is already illegal, isn’t it?). But that doesn’t mean the victim in this case isn’t a moron.
She might not have gone through this particular hell, but if her ex was determined to hurt her in some way then even if the photos/videos had never existed he presumably would have come up with a different way to get “revenge”.
Bullshit. If anything that’s only more proof of the depravity of the ex. If the woman in the article is guilty of anything, she’s guilty of thinking Ryan “I’m a cockbag” Seay respected her.
Don’t wanna be seen naked? Don’t allow recordings or photography when you’re naked.
It’s that fucking simple.
If you were photographed or recorded without your knowledge, that’s clearly a different scenario. I’m talking about people that are aware they’re on film and consent.
“I took naked pics of myself, but they were only intended for my BF”. Tough shit idiot. Naked pics have a habit of migrating no matter the cause, and you had them taken and sent intentionally. You fucked up.
“I was only getting a beej from a hooker on the beach in Mexico and someone took a picture!”
You’re in public dumb shit, sucks to be you.
“Some guy used a zoom lense to see me and my sister banging in a hotel window.”
Still public you sick ass. Hide your shame, or just die.
“We recorded our love making but…” Stop right there you dumb fuck. What good could possibly come from this (pun not intended)? You deserve the leak for having made the recording.
I’d love to hear from the people that feel the need to record their sex, and then expect it to be some sacred, personal, private thing that they cherish.
You taped yourself fucking for the purpose of watching later. There’s nothing personal or intimate about that. Any humanity or legitimate sensuality that was there has been erased by the act of making a bad porno out of your coitus.
There are no naked pics or sex tapes of [insert celebrity] because they were not foolish enough to get photographed or recorded naked. The other ones were.
Nope, it’s still purely the fault of the one who betrayed the trust.
I gotta say, dnooman, this just makes you seem like you have some weird personal issues.
You seriously believe that every single vanity celebrity sex-tape somehow makes it into the public eye? There is literally no reason why you should think this is the case.
It’s not even a matter of assigning fault; it’s called taking preventive measures. Which in this case, is a very liberal use of the term seeing as not sending nudies of yourself is the default action.
Had she not sent naked pictures of herself, like a non-idiot might consider, this wouldn’t have happened, by virtue of the fact it couldn’t have happened. That’s not to say her idiot ex wouldn’t have found another way to harass her, but that wouldn’t have been it, and it’s unlikely to have been anywhere near as damaging.
For any women in love and considering sharing pics with an SO, I recommend presenting this thread as a hypothetical first. If your boyfriend or husband sides with dnooman, don’t just reconsider sharing intimate photos with him, throw your camera off the nearest bridge. Someone once said “people tell you who they are. Listen to them.” (Oh crap, Google credits Oprah)
Way to take the fun and romance right out of sex and love, revenge guys. Nothing like setting up a woman to be stalked or raped to let her know just what she risks by having sex. Hey, here’s a thought, let’s make this thread a sticky. Next time a guy says “Ladies, y u so hard to get?” we can point to this discussion.