This question came up recently and I would like an opinion. In the normal course of intimate relations, is it important that the man, well you know…finish? I say as long as she is satisfied then the man has done his job. She says that it is important to the woman that the man also finish. My take on this is that such a release decreases the mans desire and reduces the encounter to an hour or so. Who is right?
You’re both right !
It is a bit disappointing when he doesn’t finish, because all our lives we’ve been hearing about how any healthy man will inevitably ‘finish’ at some point. So if he doesn’t, I think there’s something wrong with me. Plus it’s a turn-on for me when he does.
However, your friend is right that his finishing usually means the end of the encounter. This must make it difficult for the man to time it just right - after she has ‘finished’ but before she loses interest.
hope that helps … probably not !
I know it took me and my bf a while to get the “timing” thing down. Now we’re more in sync with each other and he finishes either at the same time or right after I do. It is important to me that he finishes and it’s important to him that I finish. If one of us doesn’t , then we tend to feel a little guilty , so we’ll engage in oral sex or something to make sure the other is as equally satisfied. It also is a turn on for me when a guy finishes, either inside or uh… watching him finish on me elsewhere.
I have had sex apporximately 50 times in my life and I cannot believe you are saying this!
You can take an hour?
I’ve never been with someone who took longer than 15 minutes.
(I am a female BTW)
15 minutes? Could be you’re just too arousing? (It’s gotta be the woman’s fault) 
Vanilla-
I don’t know what the deal is with some (most?) guys. I was intimate with a woman who told me that most guys think foreplay is taking off their pants. I think a 15 minute encounter would be a waste of time. Geez why would anyone NOT want it to last longer?
(I’m a male BTW)
Oh yeah…How YOU doin’??
I’m sure I wouldn’t have minded them lasting longer.
My first encounter wsa at age 26, btw.
Heck,once I wanted the guy to take quicker.
See,I’d had sex only 3 times before him (I was 32) and he was really large,so it was uncomfortable.
Honestly,its been over 9 years,so I can’t really remember all that well!
:o
Well, I would imagine if the guy was not finishing so he could extend the lovemaking that would be great and shows that he has a degree of sensitivity and is not just thinking of himself. If he can’t finish at all, I think that needs to be discussed out of bed and in a comfortable, non threatening enviroment.
I am waiting for sex until I am married and I pray hard that he is not a 15 minute man. If he is, that will be talked about.
Gee Vanilla. Been a while for me too. If you ever find yourself near Austin maybe we could (ahem) “compare notes”.
This seems odd, but I usually orgasm long after my partner does…and I’m a straight male. Foreplay usually goes fifteen minutes, maybe a little shorter, and then the sex starts. Usually, (as far as I can tell, at least) my GF has a couple mini-orgasms, and then a big one, yet I’m barely half-way through, unless I purposfully think about getting done quicker and go a little faster/harder…but that is sometimes uncomfortable for her. Granted, multiple orgasms for women can be a good thing, but my current GF seems more intent on a few small ones, then a big one, then wants to be done. So I feel bad that I keep going to get myself off when she seems kinda uninterested. But we don’t have a lot of sex (average of twice/week) and have only been together for a few months…so maybe we’ll eventually get in the groove.
Oh, that first time he couldn’t finish quickly enough. Ow…ow…ow…thank heaven, he came REAL quick.
It’d be important to me, first and foremost, that he enjoyed himself. There were a few occasions where my ex (only partner so far) just couldn’t quite finish. No problem. We all have our off days, right?
And bouv, I think I’m jealous of your GF. I wish it was that easy for me! 
Vanilla–don’t know whether it’s a comfort to know this or not, but I read somewhere (no cite, and don’t expect me to do a search for ‘sex time’) that the average ‘encounter’ is actually under 15 minutes, so don’t feel like you’re unusual and don’t expect that the next guy is likely to be lots better. An hour–even including foreplay (but not counting time spent doing the dishes before bed)–is uncommon. The same study I read suggested that most people tend to greatly overestimate/report their performance time and that reality is usually much closer to the quarter hour standard.
What? You ladies only finish once?
I have to make sure my GF has finished at least 4 times (average is 8, but the max was only 10 in one “sitting”).
She does see it as a big turn on to see me finish (or with a condom, just finishing inside). I have never had sex with her where she did not finish at all.
Of course YMMV. We were both virgins (me at 23, she at 26) so maybe we’re not exactly “average” as well, we’ve learned the “ins and outs” (no pun intended) of each other’s sexual preference.
I’m unable to get back into things in 15 minutes though. Even with “help” (oral, hand job, whatever) it takes me about 25 minutes before I’m ready to go again. By this time she might have lost some interest but I’m usually horney enough to turn her back on, time permitting
I don’t want to give the wrong impression here. I am not talking about a full hour in the saddle. A little foreplay, a little oral, a little saddle time, rinse, lather, repeat. This can last a loooong time. It is just that after several itterations I get tired and she gets a little sore. I just didn’t think it was all that important that I finish, I mean my friend didn’t think it was important. He just didn’t think of himself. I guess he was not seeing both sides.
Texas.
Nice, warm weather.
Vanilla In case you can’t wait, I’m in Akron, 20 mile SOUTH of you. It’s warmer here. Maybe it ain’t Texas, but we can improvise.
It’s only been three years for me. But who’s counting.
LOL!:o
I count.
Really;I’m funny that way.
Last time was August 21,1994.
First time was March 24, 1985,a Sunday.:dubious:
For some women, when the man doesn’t finish, she may feel she’s not attractive to him anymore or that she doesn’t turn him on like she use to.