I realize that a guy who finishes moments after beginning is not ideal, but why is it that it seems like guys think the longer they can last, the better? I hear guys bragging about it and gather that this is a commonly held opinion.
Ladies? Do you want a guy who lasts forever? Me, I get tired. Then I get sore. How long do you like a guy to last once actual intercourse begins?
Guys: how long do you feel like you “should” last? Do you make it last longer than it would be natural to because you feel it is expected/wanted? (I’ve heard of guys thinking about baseball or math to keep from climax… if I found out my guy was doing that I’d be incredibly hurt.)
Because women take longer to finish than guys do and a guy who doesn’t last long enough to please his partner is going to take a huge ego hit.
I last about four minutes (sometimes I only last two or three, sometimes I last eight- I don’t know why it’s so variable with me but there you have it), which isn’t very long but it doesn’t bother me considering how selfish a lover I am anyway. But if I had to choose a number of minutes that I could last, I’d say ten.
I’m with you on this. There’s no timetable for me, but basically if I’m climaxing, I don’t want you to be too far behind me. I’m probably not gonna go again unless we switch things up considerably or go back to foreplay for awhile. I’d say that my climax is more or less the “2 minute warning” of intercourse.
Why do men think it’s best to go for a long time? Because we can go for a long time. If they were multiply orgasmic it wouldn’t matter, but they’re (mostly) not, so once they’re done, they’re done for (generally) a while.
I’ve been blessed with guys who can go for hours (with breaks, we’re made of human parts after all), and I appreciate it. But I’m also not shy about saying “No really, I’m good, you go ahead.”
Well, you ladies are not the only one with this issue. Ahem.
I, too, do not appreciate men who seem to go on forever. Really, if it’s more than 5 minutes it becomes something like abuse. Especially if they are not interested in changing positions, or doing anything to help little me get in the spirit of things.
When I am a top, sad to say (for me), I can’t really slow down the process, and it often seems to me to have ended too soon (I think this is just my feeling, I have not had any complaints). This is why, when I am with someone else who is versatile, I selfishly prefer them to go first.
Roddy
It’s because being able to last longer is better. That doesn’t necessarily mean that going for as long as you possibly can, every time, is a good thing. But, as a guy, it’s important to have reasonably good control over your sexual response, and length of performance can be used as an indicator in that regard.
A guy bragging about how long he can go doesn’t necessarily mean he goes that long every time.
Long enough to make her happy, every single time. If that’s 3 minutes one time and 45 the next, then I’d better learn to be versatile and finish in <4 minutes or >45 minutes, depending.
No. Any guy who feels it’s expected or wanted without knowing it’s expected or wanted is a bad partner (IMHO, I don’t fancy men).
Note: above answers apply to steady sexual partnerships, and not one-night-stands.
There are so many variables. Different partners have different preferences and appetites. Some women like longer varied romps and can have several oragasms while others have one oragasm {or less} and they’re done. Even the same people have different moods and don’t always want the same thing concerning duration.
In general though , a guy having some control is a good thing but I think it’s about compatibility. The amount of stamina you need depends on your partner, consideration, communication.
What if us guys just put a quarter in your mouth and you make motor boat noises until you’re happy with the (unbeknown to us) time allotment. :dubious:
come on, we’re too fast, we’re too slow… you’re killing us.
It depends entirely upon what he’s doing during that “lasting”. Is he just mindlessly bonking away? Or is he actively and skillfully seeking her pleasure?
If it’s the first…ummmm…I got news for some poor saps, that ain’t what that old saying means. If it’s the second…DINGDINGDING…winner!
But even with the latter too much of a good thing can still be too much.
“Should”? Ah, but this is l’amour… not zee place to throw about zee absolutes, no?
Generally I take my cue from how interested she is. When she’s had a couple or a few orgasms, generally her enthusiasm will be … less so. It’s so very important to pay close attention, because she’s not going to always say ‘cut it out’ until she’s long past the point of having any fun. I try to stop before we get to where it’s no fun anymore.
I don’t really have a point where I have to finish (most of the time). Not that I’m Superman or nothin’, I just have learned to pay attention to when I am nearing the point of no return and slowly move to perhaps playing with her breasts or kissing her face and biting her neck… goddammit, hold on a bit…
…
Right. So as far as should it’s as long as my woman wants to go. Normal worknight and gotta get up in the morning and such? Half an hour, forty-five minutes or so. Unless it’s just a five minute fun fuck, those are nice too!
If I’ve got a whiskey dick, we’re talking an hour. Mrs. toofs sometimes likes a long session of sweaty intimacy. Either way, I can finish almost on que. I laugh when she hands me a beer, then another one, and another. Momma’s got needs.
I thought I read some survey where people rated the ideal time of pure thrusting fuckage as 5-10 minutes or so.
I can go a long time, or not. For me it depends on the position, condom usage, beer consumption, and intensity. If it’s a new girl, it’s hard for me to go longer than a few minutes. Maybe not best for first impressions, but so far most girls seem pleased. Also, when I was on Celexa, an SSRI, I could go all night, literally. She was happy with this most of the time, but it was very sad on the nights where she begged me to finish, but yet I couldn’t for the life of me.
Besides guys, it’s not like the trouser snake is the only species in town.