I really should get around to admitting this. I’m a minute-man. The Flash. A pre-mature ejaculator.
So, I’m sitting at about 2-3 minutes on average. This holds true for masturbation, handjobs, and oral sex. Needless to say, I want to improve. My girlfriend and I aren’t going to be doing anything more than kissing for a while, so it’s not a matter of pleasing her at the moment. It’s more a matter of my ego and future encounters.
How can I lengthen the time it takes me to orgasm? When masturbating, I’ve tried not allowing myself to do so for set lengths of time–fifteen, twenty, or thirty minutes–but all I end up doing is approaching orgasm, stopping, restarting for a few seconds, and then having to stop again. I’ve done this for at least a month, maybe two, and I see no improvement.
Viagra? Might not help with the PE, but perhaps with some of the unfortunate after-effects?
(Not having ever taken the stuff, I’m not too sure how it works. But when the commercials “warn” against four-hour erections, I’m thinking this might be a product that could help you.)
What’s the big deal with coming once, and then being ready again? If she’s understanding, it’s not out of the unusual. Either come once then spend the next 10 minutes or whatever while you get ready pleasuring her exclusively, or spend a lot of time first exclusively pleasuring her. Then you can even get away with a comment like, “You make me so hot, I can’t control myself.”
Women who aren’t understanding about it probably aren’t worth it, honestly. If she’s understanding and kind, and you please her in every other way then she’ll be happy.
I think at 18, this is kinda normal. You ejaculate, and then have a pretty fast recovery rate, if I am correct? Actually, this was what I liked in younger men!!
As you get older, it will slow down, but for now, it’s a great thing, and besides, women like other things than just the penetration. Like cunnilingus. It normally takes a woman muich longer than a man to orgasm (I am a fast cummer, so I can’t sommiserate with many women on this, but I feel blessed) so the thing to do is ejaculate, go down on her (teach yourself that this is an okay thing, cause otherwise, don’t expect a blow job. You cum in her mouth, she can cum in yours, even if it’s yours) and work on her a whle, and by the time she is all ready to blow her stack, you’re good to go again!!
Sounds lovely. I wish you both happiness.
Respectfully,
Inky
PS - Viagra or Cialis at your age is not a good thing. And doesn’t stop you from orgasming. It merely helps sustain an erection once achieved, regardless of the crap you see in spam mails.
Sadly, I suffer from this problem as well. While my attempts at improvement haven’t been stellar, I have had SOME success. Your method of starting and stopping is key. The question I would have is, how long are you stopping for? Sometimes you just have to stop a bit longer and move on to something else. Making your partner aware of this beforehand can help. Being aware of your body and knowing when you are going to pass the “breaking” point is also helpful.
I’ve been told that pressure at the base of the penis can also help to hold off on ejacluation, but I have not had any personal success with this method.
[removes dentures]When I was your age…[/removes dentures]
So often, when young guys partake in self-pleasure, they do what could only be described as popping the balloon: Take 5 deep breaths, inflate the balloon as fast as possible and ‘boom’, it’s over. Too often they concentrate so much on the pleasure of the orgasm that they rush to the finish without making note of how much fun it is getting there. Next time you get yourself off, put one hour aside and try to hold off the entire time. Learn how your body reacts and you’ll learn how to control it. Sometimes, re-aligning your jaw by pushing your tongue up against the roof of your mouth controls the orgasmic reflex. With others, pulling down firmly but gently on the jewels has the same affect.
Concentrate as much on your PC muscles when stationary as you do your pecs, abs and biceps when you are at the gym…they’re just as important.
Relax…
Enjoy…
Before the inevitable reflex crescendos to the point of no return, ask yourself if you want to temporarily interrupt your coitus interruptus.
Practice makes perfect…If, for some reason nothing seems to help, a sutra class may be in order.
Most importantly, learn to use your fingers and tongue. It’s a skill that will serve you well the rest of your life.
Do the stopping and starting again while having sex. When you feel yourself getting close, just slow down and stop and wait for the feeling to subside. (Note: take this time to kiss, etc., not chat about baseball). Repeat as often as necessary, but you’ll probably find that as the session goes on and you do this a few times, your body will take the hint and you’ll be able to go longer and longer without stopping.
Pick your position. You’ll probably last longer with her on top or with missionary than you will doggy style.
How far are you pulling out when having sex? Try shortening your strokes a bit.
You know how when you’re taking a pee and you need to choke it off for some reason or another? You should be able to flex and relax that muscle even when you’re not urinating. Strengthing that muscle with repetitions of flexing and relaxing can help increase the amount of time you can resist ejaculating. It’s pretty easy to do 20 reps while you’re sitting there in class or something, and no one will know. Keep that up for a while and I think you can stretch out your average.
I second that suggestion. She gets to feel good about giving great head (and it’s over before her jaw starts cramping), and then you can enjoy . . . other things . . . for longer. At 18, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. The guys I dated when I was about that age were the same.
More information for all of my lovely viewers out there: I’m also a virign. This hasn’t been a problem, but I don’t want it to become one. Maybe I’m just worried because I have superhuman friends. We discussed this, and they (there’re two of them) didn’t realise that not being able to orgasm with less than half an hour of masturbation was reasonably impressive.
Anyway, here’s the list of suggestions I’ve seen so far:
Learn to use the hands and mouth (I knew this one already).
Flex the groin muscle to strengthen it.
Stop during sex if I want to make it last longer, and use the time for kissing and being intimate.
Orgasm before sex.
Have sex during commercials (;))
Understand my body better (this last one is where most of my focus has been, thus far).
Impressive to who? Trust me, 30 minutes of thrusting is not fun from the female perspective. Long enough to let her get into it = good, long enough to rub the girl raw = very very bad.
First, congrats on being 18 and a doper and gettin’ some. You’re shootin’ against the odds, so to speak.
Secondly, If I remember my readings on this stuff, what was recommended by Whatever I was Reading AT the time About this kinda thing and no, Mr. Ujest has never had a problem with being quick of the start. He’s like the energizer bunny. was to use the Stop and Start Method:
and then try some breathing:
We are women and mind readers but your not exactly a Jedi Knight, m’kay?
