I’m not sure if this belongs here or in IMHO. If this is in the wrong place I’d be grateful for the mods to move it (you know I really do love you all). I just recently became sexually active, and noticed that I really don’t have much stamina (if you catch my drift). I don’t know if it’s normal because I’m new to it, but my question is twofold.
Is it normal to not be able to perform for extended periods (like over 15 minutes) you first couple of times?
Is there anything I can do to, well you know, extend the time.
Answers to these questions would be greatly appreciated :).
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You are done quickly? Welcome to the club, as most men (assuming you are male) have difficulty holding out when you first start to have sex. In fact, the average time for a 30 year old is under 10 minutes I think, but I dont have a cite for that.
If you are like a lot of young males, you have watched porn. They EDIT things so that it seems like the guy goes forever. dont use them for a benchmark in endurance OR size! Probably will lead to disappointment in both cases.
The trade of to being young and not lasting long, is that you can be ready again very quickly, within minutes.
Dont sweat it. Your “time” will improve with time and experience.
I didn’t take into account foreplay because I wanted to focus on the act itself. I just want to know how I can last longer. I realize that this is a normal problem for guys, so there have to be some tried and true methods for getting the most out of sex.
I understand your point, but I still maintain that ‘lasting longer’ (for guys), while it looks great in the movies, simply isn’t terribly important - if you are attentive with the foreplay, the good lady will not be expecting a marathon by the time you climb aboard.
What Mangetout is trying to tell you is you can make the whole experience last longer (and be more pleasurable for her) by incorporating more foreplay. Making sex last longer (how long you can pump away) really shouldn’t be the goal. It’s quality, not quantity, especially when you’re talking about going over 15 minutes of “pumping away”. Trust me, most women aren’t interested in that at all.
As a woman, I can tell you, there is nothing worse than having your SO pumping away for hours…it gets very boring. I would much rather have lots of foreplay (especially the oral kind ).
If you find you are cumming within a few seconds of entering the vagina, then I would suggest you either masturbate before sex or let her masturbate you until you cum. When you get it up again for round two, you should last a lot longer.
A note on the foreplay thing, from my own experience at least anyway. Make sure that the woman gets lots more attention during foreplay than you do. The more she tries to return the favour and get you goin’, the more likely you are to finish quick as you’ll be ready to ‘pop’ any second.
Also, there may come a point, if you do happen to last a long time during intercourse, when the woman gets sore and will want you to hurry up some or just pull out.
As said above, bangin’ away for half an hour aint always the best thing.
This is gonna sound REALLY weird, but what if she doesn’t like oral sex (receiving I mean). She claims that she doesn’t like the way it feels. What then? Which brings me back to my original question.
People are unique individuals. One thing I’ve learned here (especially when the topic is women’s likes and dislikes) is that as soon as you post a generalization, someone will be along soon to tell you: No, I am not like that; I am different.
Count on this. Guaranteed, every time. Expect the unexpected.
Celebrate diversity, and be cautious about generalizations. Approach each person as a uniquely precious human treasure. If you’re lucky, you may find the key to unlock her mysteries. But don’t force it.
Well, I’m just assuming. Keep in mind that I am very new to this so I’m just going on intuition. All of this is very helpful advice and I am thankful, but my original question still has not been answered.
If she doesn’t like oral sex, you can just use your fingers to pleasure her. Ask her what she likes…the other option is to buy a vibrator and use that on her. You could ask her to masturbate in front of you, and watch what she does.
Some women can be a little embarrassed about receiving oral sex (what if I smell, what if he doesn’t like it?) and that makes them uncomfortable. Tell her how much you love giving her pleasure. Tell her you love the way she smells and feels. Perhaps you have a lesbian friend who could teach you the best way to give oral sex.
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