Ladies: Is Ned Flanders attractive?

Inspired by last night’s Simpsons, in which widower Ned Flanders finally gets some action–and with a hot movie star, no less:

As a heterosexual male with not nearly enough of a clue about what attracts women to men (and way too many of my brain cells devoted to The Simpsons or sex, not necessarily in that order), I was wondering how realistic this was. Is Ned the kind of guy a movie star would fall for?

An informal poll for the female Dopers: Would you go out with Ned Flanders? Would you do the nasty with him? Would you consider marrying him?

If not, which Simpsons character would you go out with? (Yeah, I know we’re talking about cartoon characters here, but come on, play along.)

“Stupid sexy Flanders.”

Personally, I’d find him annoying.

But man, the guy is really built! Plus, did you ever see the episode where Maude dies? I think Homer tries to get him a date, so they do a video and Ned is in the shower. Whoa, is that guy HUNG.

I quite like Ned for the same reason I quite like Kermit the Frog … he’s very sweet, never has a bad word to say about anyone, and he always knows what to say (even if it’s not what you want to hear, it comes from the heart.) Annoying, yes, but my annoyance is my own problem, not his. He wouldn’t hurt a flea.

Kermit is, however, not a ‘nice’ guy (the type who finishes last) : he has a spine and stands up for what he thinks. The Simpsons hasn’t as yet (that I’ve seen, but I don’t have cable so I’m limited to what’s shown in syndication) explored this part of Ned’s character.

I was having this exact conversation with a female friend of mine and we realized that those lovely qualities are shared by men we know and greatly admire (and are attracted to!)

Oh yeah they have an episode where Steady Neddy gets to stand up for himself. Ned went loopy when his house was the only in Springfield damaged by a storm and after the town rebuilt him a completely crappy version he lost it. He eventually had quite a few things to say, after comitting himself to a mental hospital.

“From now On when I get mad 'll say exactly whats on my mind. And if that doesn’t work I’ll run you over.” (or something like that)

And how about when he was wearing that one-piece ski suit? “It’s like wearing nothin’ at all!” And he did get the part of Stanley Kowalski in the community production of Streetcar Named Desire after he took his shirt off during the auditions . . .

Still, meh, no way. He’s as irritating as hell.

. . . Here is where I admit I have a slight case on Dr. Nick . . .

Nope. Flanders is definitely not my type. I’d prolly go for Otto.

I’d probably date him and sleep with him, but never marry him. His kids are creepy…


Might I hijack just a tad to ask what that musical cue was, when Ned and his lady were on the hill, and later when he was trimming the hedges- so familiar but I have no idea what it’s from…

“Hi Eve–rybody!”



Don’t forget, Ned’s got quite the … um … diddly … as seen in pixelated form in the dating service video Homer made for him…

There was an Oceans 11 theme in there, but i don’t know if that is what you are talking about (there also was the Ichy and Scratchy theme at the Pops concert)

Homer and Lisa could have manupilated the tape to make it appear that Ned had a larger penis than he actually does (more pixellation).

But he is “Ned Flanders-the man with the chest!”

If nothing else, the man looks great for his age.

oooh- you may have something there… off to check TiVo.

It’s from Clair de Lune, which is featured in Ocean’s Eleven (though not I would guess what the Simpsons producers were going for). Thanks Tars!


He has a mustache so pogonophobic me says eeeeuuuuuuch, knowing my luck I’d probably end up with the comic book store guy …

No kidding. He’s sixty-something, isn’t he? No cite, but I recall an episode in which he got a senior citizen’s discount, much to Homer’s dismay.

::shrug:: I’d do him.

Well, aside from the moodiness of the piece and how it was supposed to underscore Ned’s loneliness, there might’ve been a subtle connection being made. Namely:

–“Clair de Lune” was also heard in the remake of Ocean’s Eleven which featured Julia Roberts;

–the plot of the 3/2/03 Simpson’s ep was a parody of the movie Notting Hill which featured Julia Roberts; and

–throughout the episode, references are made to the movie star having dated practically every male actor in Hollywood–much like Julia Roberts (not that I know a lot about this sort of thing).

Sorry to hijack the thread with these obsessive Comic Book Guy-like observations. Carry on.

I would date him, because he’s a nice guy, but before things would get as far as the sex phase the bible crap would turn me off. And the mustache. ::shudder::

Who’s sexy in Springfield? Bumblebee Man!

No no, just kidding. Actually I’m reminded of a recent episode where Bart tells Edna to dump Seymour and she says something along the lines of “what would that leave me with?!?!” Bart goes through a mental checklist of the town bachelors to the tune of “You Sexy Thang!” which includes: Barney, Disco Stu, the Sea Captain, Comic Book Guy, Moe, Smithers, etc.

I’m gonna go with Lenny. We have the same interests (namely sitting at the bar and drinking.) My first choice is John, the owner of the retro knick-knack store, but I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t work out, for obvious reasons.