Have you tried jojoba oil? That’s what I use and it gets 99% of my eye makeup off-the only stuff it doesn’t get is where I’ve tightlined or lined the inside of my eyelid.
30YO, married almost 10 years, hair is somewhat wavy when short, but fairly straight at this length - to the shoulders. I am pretty low-maintenance.
Hair: Shampoo and condition every shower (not every day). Towel dry. Comb out. Blow-dry if leaving the house soon or in the winter - takes less than five minutes. Brush when dry. I used to get it cut on a very irregular basis. Now I’m growing it out. I used to dye it at home. Now I’m leaving it alone. I try to leave it down, but it mostly ends up in a pony tail.
Face: Wash with Mary Kay cleanser in shower. Follow up with “day solution” and moisturizer. (You’re “supposed to” cleanse/use night solution/moisturize at night too, but that only ever happens if I wear makeup and need to take it off.) Occasionally use microdermabrasion set in shower. I’m a former consultant, so I have three different eye creams that I use on various areas (upper lid, lower lid, crow’s feet area). Not a daily makeup wearer … I’m a SAHM, but I can do a full face in less than 10 minutes (concealer, foundation, eye primer, 3 eyeshadows +/-liner, blush, mascara, powder, lip color). That’s typically only for “special occasions”. If I’m not feeling totally glamorous, or for a simple outing, I’ll do a tinted moisturizer, one eye shadow, mascara, bronzing powder, and lip gloss for lighter look.
Body: I only wash the necessary areas each shower (pits, groin, and feet). I don’t get dirty on a daily basis, but I will scrub/exfoliate all over once a week or so, then follow up with lotion. Shave the pits as needed, shave legs occasionally in winter and 2-3x per week in summer, trim/shave girly bits as needed. I use an after-shaving moisturizing spray to ward off razor bumps/itchy bits.
My nails get trimmed/shaped/filed as needed. I almost never put polish on my fingernails. It just doesn’t last. I’ll do my own toenails occasionally in the summer, maybe ever 2-3 weeks. I pluck random eyebrow hairs weekly or so to keep them shaped. I do not have good brows. 
Hair: Buzz cut to scalp ala model Alek Wek (not bald, though). Rinse daily in shower, oiled and brushed. Cut every two weeks at barbershop; eyebrows groomed there as well. Total time, 2 mins.
Beauty: Wash face with hot water and face rag. Sunscreen/moisturizer; eyebrows; eyeliner; mascara (Love Maybelline “The Falsies”!); neutral pinkish/brown lipstick and gloss. Blush if I feel I need to warm up my complexion a bit. Always use primer under eyes or else I look like a raccoon at the end of the day. Nails are kept short and rounded, toenails done on the regular in the summer. Perfume, always. I just don’t feel completely dressed without it. Matching bra and panties on workdays. (Not that anybody’s gonna see 'em, just makes me feel sexier and more put together). Work inside in an office so nice shirt, pants, heels and jewelry.
Routine: Shower every morning, pits and “Betty” shaved as needed, daily in the summer. Soap dries my skin out something awful, so I use a salt or sugar scrub. Grease up with raw shea butter and perfumed lotion. Deodorized and powder the bits and I’m good to go. All total, 25-30 mins.
Hair: baby-fine, stick-straight, prematurely graying, not quite shoulder length. Shampoo and condition every other day or so, up in towel while dressing/eating, then a touch of spray gel, and five minutes with a round brush and dryer. Brush out on non-shampoo mornings. Color at home every 3-5 months as motivation strikes. 5-10 minutes total.
Face: wash with exfoliating cleanser in shower, then moisturize. Five to ten minutes of makeup if someone’s getting married or buried, or we’re having a special night out, but usually a minute or less.
Body: shower daily, shave pits every week or so, legs as inclination strikes or wardrobe dictates, usually about every other week in warm weather and every other month in cold. Exfoliate/lotion as needed, varies from 3x/day to every week or so, depending on weather and hormonal swings. Powder and deodorant under boobs in warm weather. 10-15 minutes, depending on shampoo/shave needs and strength of residual bed gravity.
See, that’s the sort of thing that makes guys think women are often slaves to beauty routines. That’s just not a thought process that ever occurs to most men, the idea that they’re unattractive and shouldn’t feel confident just because they haven’t spent the better part of an hour smearing things on their faces, hair, and bodies. They always look mystified when I tell them about this sort of feeling so many women have. And I understand the mystification, because a lot of the women I know who feel that way are better-looking without any help than I am after an hour or so of primping. That they feel so much worse about the way they look than I do makes me all 
:mad:.
And yeah, if you’re one of the umpty-jillion women who will NOT leave the house without makeup, you kind of are a slave to your beauty routine, by definition.
Age: 32
Hair: Very short, very fine, straight.
Job: I work from home, but I try to make an effort.
Morning: I shower every other day. (12 minutes) After a shower, I apply moisturizer to my body and face and mousse (with heat-reactive polymers! I love this stuff!) to my hair. I then blow dry my hair and style. (15 minutes) After my hair is done, I clean my nails, brush my teeth. Just before I’m ready to get dressed, I put on makeup. I used to do things in a different order, but I haven’t perfected using mineral powder foundation while dressed without dusting my clothes. So, powder foundation, lip gloss and mascara on a light makeup day or I add in eyeshadow and eyeliner if I’m going all out. (10 minutes) Total time = 37-40 minutes
Evening: Wash my face. Apply nighttime moisturizer to face and body. Brush my teeth. Total time = 10 minutes
Misc:
[ul]
[li]I shave as needed; during the summer, I like to get in at least one really luxurious shave once a week involving a pre-soak in the tub and then old fashioned shave soap applied with a brush.[/li][li]Once a week, I do a face mask thingie.[/li][li]I dye my hair once every 4-6 weeks and should get my hair cut as frequently, but I usually forget and go more like 10-12 weeks. When I’m in the salon, I usually get my eyebrows waxed, too.[/li][li]I keep my nails short and unpainted because of the cooking and art-making I do. If I have an uberprofessional event, I’ll buff them and get 'em shiny. I’d like to get my toenails done during the summer, but usually can’t be bothered and only manage to paint them myself once or twice during sandal season. I obviously need a pedicure buddy.[/li][/ul]