I’m not talking about fetish proportions here. Just as an occasional thing for spice things up.
And women really ought to give us guys a little more credit than this. Though we may like the visuals of an attractive woman in various media, we are with you and are attracted to you for more than just your body or what you put on it.
Nah… I know you’re being frank in expressing your point of view so no worries. 
If a woman simply does not feel comfortable in what is classically considered to be sexy apparel, I can certainly respect that. I certainly would not expect someone to do something against their will or outside their comfort level. I respect it more if that is how it’s expressed. However, am I wrong in interpreting the statement “What’s in it for me?” as a highly defensive and accusatory position? 
Really? Because your previous post on the matter sure sounds otherwise. 
If I was with a guy who needed lingerie this much to feel spiced up or to get a heightened sense of excitement for me, I would start to feel really lousy, really quickly.
Damn you people with your long memories! 
LOL!
That was a former partner and we both really enjoyed it. However, it wasn’t a daily thing.
This is someone I’ve been seeing recently and I’m trying to decide it this is worth pursuing for various reasons. Lingerie is not a deal breaker… she just presents a point of view I’ve never encountered before so I’m forced to examine my own position.
I don’t think any of us can tell you where this person was coming from when she said it. I already gave you my impression above (that it might have sounded controlling or that she felt she just wasn’t getting a say/choice in the matter). I could see myself and other women reacting that way depending on the scenario. Maybe she felt insulted or like she wasn’t sexy enough for the guy. Or maybe her response sounded accusatory because the man sounded presumptuous. Or maybe she simply feels uncomfortable with the man or relationship in question.
I don’t know. I’m sure she reacted that way for a reason, but I can’t really speculate further without knowing the person and the situation.
:dubious:
Hmmm… I think this was insightful. Thanks. Must cogetate further on this.
Ehhh. I must be a mutant. I prefer the jeans-and-a-Tshirt look (and the less frilly underthings) to all-out spikomatic-high-heel lingerie-world.
Though I will say, that, long ago, when I was going out with a certain woman, she dressed that way because she thought it would interest me. That was touching.
It’s not the clothes–it’s the thought.
Well, for me, my partner buying the thing (whatever it might be, frilly, lacy, cotton, whatever) for me to wear would be the biggest turn on of all - are you kidding??? That would mean that he (or she if I happened to be gay, but I’m gonna use “he” from here on in because I’m not) would have been thinking about what I looked like and what would turn him on to see me in. Honey, unless we’re talking agony in the wearing here, that’s all the payoff I’d need! Forget extra effort or performance on the part of the partner - just the ego blast alone would be tremendously rewarding.
YMMV.
Yes, but only halfway. My fellow men, YOU have to put some work into remaining attractive to HER as well. You have to take care of her needs, too - that’s a better guarantee of her getting hot for you, night after night, year after year. That’s how everybody wins.
…or perhaps I should just restrict my dating pool to people with **Oy!'s ** mind set.
Nope. Not kidding. What if the thing is 10 sizes too big? Or too small? Or really not your taste? For me (and I only speak of myself here), it wouldn’t provide an ego boost at all (though I’m funny that way - my sexual attractiveness or lack thereof doesn’t play at all into how I feel or think about myself in general). I’d hope I’d be sexy enough without the accoutrements. If not, well then, Houston, there’s a problem.
Amen, bra’.
BTW, gyms are equal opportunity establishments. She should be getting in there regularly as well.
And why does your partner not know your size or your taste or what best suits your body type?
Grilled steak is delicious. Steak Diane is a nice treat sometimes.
Some thoughts:
I am of the T shirt and cotton undies contingency, so keep that in mind. Nothing to me is sexier than a naked woman wearing just her man’s Oxford shirt with only a few buttons buttoned…anyway, I was saying.
Why the lingerie at all? I don’t get it. It’s scratchy; I feel skanky in it–I dont’ feel "powerful"at all–I feel dressed up for some generic man’s fantasy. Ugh.
I don’t wear heels, don’t like 'em. I don’t want to look like a Playboy Bunny/Hooters girl/centerfold before, during or after sex, ever.
If the man buys me some sexy lingerie, I do hope we have talked about it in some way prior to his purchase. Otherwise, I’m gonna feel controlled and inadequate–not thrilled with an ego boost.
Maybe I “got issues”, but seems to me that most women don’t stipulate that their partner/BF/man of the evening wear a particular pair of boxers or briefs.
Or maybe I just don’t get out enough. My husband and I have our problems, no lie, but he has never insisted that I wear lingerie(in fact, he doesn’t care for it, either)and for that I am grateful.
Why don’t you ASK her what she meant by that remark? Seems the simplest thing to do, really.
My husband wouldn’t know my size if I wore my tags on the outside. Not so much for me, as I haven’t changed much in 18 years, but I know women who yo-yo between 4 sizes all the time.
He did go shopping for clothes for me once with Kid Kalhoun because we were about the same size at that time. As I recall, his pick wasn’t a good one and he’s never purchased clothing for me since. Which is just as well.
I love lingerie, but I wear for me, because it makes me feel special and beautiful, not for him. He doesn’t really get the lingerie thing. Last time I slinked up to him, in a very sexy black chiffon set, he gave me a slightly baffled look and asked: “Why are you looming over me?”
Oh, absolutely! Didn’t mean to imply that you were a frills and lace kind of gal, either, that’s just what I usually associated with Frederick’s of Hollywood type stuff (as mentioned in the OP).
You know… ElvisL1ves brought up a very good point, which is that both parties should make an effort to please each other, sort of a quid pro quo. You agreed, which is cool. And then you turned it right back into one more thing that a woman should be doing that presumably would excite her man and thus give her a “payoff” in return.
Apologies if I’m reading you wrong, but you seem to be holding the general attitude that it’s more the woman’s responsibility to keep things exciting in a relationship. IOW, you’ll do for her, but she has to do for you first. That might work for the short-term, but longer-term I think that’s a recipe for some resentment. Why should she have to do more of the heavy-lifting? Maybe that’s the vibe you’re giving off. Perhaps another thing worth considering.
Are we married to the same guy? Heck, maybe we are even the same person, because I’m with you on the shelves thing too! Sometimes the best thing a guy can do for a gal is the housework … if I’m not stressed out and worn out by the 9.765 other things I had to do that day 'cause I got help doing them, then penis just might ensue. In a big way. 
Bwahahahahaha! Yeah…nothing more pathetic than getting dressed up like a whore only to fall asleep on the couch! "I’m…too sexy for my shoes…too sexy for…yawn…(blink, blink)…zzzzzzzzzzz
I like girly stuff. The definition of “girly stuff” varies by…well…by girl. Some are flannel girls, some are Frederick’s girls. I fall in the middle - I’m a Suzy Parker type girl I wear stuff like that because it makes me feel … well (you know where I’m goin’ with this) … girly!
VCNJ~