Lame Stuff in Baseball

In My Humble Opinion
1

Those gold palm trees beyond the outfield in San Diego. Whose brilliant idea were those?

Also in San Diego, they have a big “5.5” written in chalk next to third base. I spent a couple innings trying to figure that one out before the secret was finally revealed. 5.5 is the number of the position between short and third, and it’s there because that’s where so many of Tony Gwynn’s hits have gone. Not to diss Gwynn, what how retarded is that? Who is going to get that anyway?

The pool in the outfield in Arizona.

The very existence of the Dodgers.

2

Team mascots!!!

I like baseball and I feel insulted that someone feels that to make the game interesting, it is necessary to have a six-foot tall stuffed animal rolling around on the top of the dugout.

3

I thought that the shortstop position was scored 6. Thus a Shortstop to Second Base to First Base Double Play is scored a 6-4-3.

4

The Philly Fanatic and “Upee”[sub]sp?[/sub] in Montreal are the only reasons people go to see those games. :wink:

Other lameness:
The Red Sox management.
The Cubs and Expos.
Mark MacGuire’s batting average.
Carl Evrett’s “team” concept.
John Rocker’s intellect.
The Nationl League East.
Barry Bond’s public image. (Though improving)

Or were you just referring to the parks and stadiums?

5

That’s the Philly Phanatic and Youpi!, I believe.

6

One league having the DH, and one league not. At this point I don’t care which way it goes anymore, lets just all get on the same page, huh folks?
The Wave. Newbie fans are stunned to learn this is a relatively new thing to baseball. No one ever did “The Wave” while Willie Mays, Joe DiMaggio, or Mickey Mantle was playing. Sit down and watch the game already.
Artificial turf (retch).
Is there still a team with an exploding scoreboard?

7

I always thought the open, field-level bullpen in San Diego (?) was silly. Hit balls that roll in there are still in play, but gosh, if that doesn’t not occur to many outfielders, who assume the ball’s dead and just watch the ball bounce around in there. And gosh, if there isn’t a mad scramble to retrieve it from under benches and over relief pitchers and coaches and equipment when they see the baserunners still hauling ass around the bases and realize it’s a live ball. Then you throw in the fact that it is a bullpen, so it’s full of baseballs. Fun fun fun! :slight_smile:

8

While I agree this is a major source of lameness, as a Yankee fan in Red Sox country it does provide me with a lot of fun. I would add the caveat, too, of Red Sox upper management (General Manager and higher)only. The field managers in recent years have been doing the best they could with the hands they’ve been dealt.

I would also add to the list:
No revenue sharing system, so that the same 6 or so large market teams are always competitive, while several small market teams have no way to stay competitive.

9

Loud and brash fan entertainment systems. They should bring back the old organists instead, now that had more style.

10

Playing samples of: I Walk the Line, Walk This Way, These Boots Were Made for Walkin’, etc when a batter reaches first on a walk.

Playing “DAY-O!” (Bananna Boat Song) so people in the stands can yell “DAY-O!” for no apparent reason. (I totally don’t get that!)

Of course, his picking his nose on TV during God Bless America the other night was NOT a step in the right direction.

11

Domes. Baseball is meant to be played outside.

12

Right. The infield position numbers are:
pitcher - 1
catcher - 2
1st base - 3
2nd base - 4
3rd base - 5
Shortstop - 6

So the spot between short and third would be 5.5, where Gwynn hit the ball. And since 5.5 is not a real position, no one is there to field the ball thus Gwynn getting a lot of hits through the 5.5 position.

13

How about:

Grossly overpaid players who whine and the blind sheep fans who support them.

Excessively superstitious player rituals.

IIRC, it was George Carlin (if I’m wrong, tell me) who once noted that baseball, at any given time, is nothing more than two guys playing catch.

14

You mean small markets like Seattle, Oakland, Cleveland, Arizona & San Francisco?

15

Between-inning “bloopers” tapes that show the same thirty
bloopers, some of them about twenty-five years old now, at
each game.

And the music that accompanies those bloopers.

The dimensions of the new ballparks.

Everybody forgetting that the amazing new home run numbers
are because the ball’s juiced and the new ballparks have
ridiculous dimensions.

16

What about the waterfalls in the outfield in kanas city? Those certainly aren’t neccesary, and while they are visually stunning, they seem to be a bit silly.

Astroturf. W…t…f…? Yeah, we gotta play inside, whatever, but can you not grow a flower, in a pot, inside? I am sure that these facilities are large enough, and have enougn funds, to have some sort of grass-growing program, where they have simulated UV lighting, and watering system.

Another thing, while more a tiff than anything else, I hate these modernized stadiums. While the topic I mentioned before would require modern technology, is it really neccesary that we have the ballparks named after tech companies? What ever happened to these parks with heritage? All the new parks are nothing more than cement domes, or circles, that have no asthetic value at all.

No lights at Wrigley… I think I don’t really need to talk about this one anymore. It is the 21st century, everyone else is doing it, so go out and get some lights… night games sure beat that nasty sun, and so many people have to work during the day, I am sure that attendance would have to go up a little bit.

17

Wrigley Field has had lights for ten or twelve years now.

18

-me so stupid-

I stand corrected :slight_smile:

19

I’m not sure what park it is, (Nat’l League?), but in center field there is sort of a grass covered, half-mound on the playing field. Does anyone know why?

20

Since 8-8-88, unofficially, 13 years.

Um, are you familiar with Wrigley field? Attendance is not, and never will be, a problem for the Cubs, win or lose. As a matter of fact, adding more night games would cost them attendance. Baseball is meant to be played in the daytime, and the entire joy of it is going out, enjoying the grass, the sun, the ivy and getting away from work. I won’t continue on the mitigating factors that make it vastly beneficial to have day games, it seems the only people interested in more night games is the MLB. Chicago sure as hell doesn’t.

Well, being a new park…kinda precludes them from having heritage. And I suppose that, oh say 20 years ago, parks had a tendancy to be giant symetrical cement structures, anything you’ve seen in the last decade has gone decidedly in the other direction.

And by the way…day games at Wrigley…I think that’s the picture in the dictionary next to the word “heritage[sup]*[/sup]”.

[sup]* - Yeah, I know this isn’t really what the word means, but in the context that he/she used it, my point is clear.[/sup]

I know you didn’t just use the the word Cubs and Expos in the same sentence…where, pray tell, do you see coincidences between these two teams? Last I saw the Expos last game had a paid attendance of ~3000, an estimated 1/3rd of which never showed up. Last Cubs game…sold out. Oh, and as of midseason, the top drawing visiting team (largest jump in attendance when the team plays in other cities) was the Cubs, ahead of the Yankees. I’d say a hell of alot of baseball fans disagree with you here.

My idea of lame? Enron Field, could you bring the walls in a little closer in right and left? I play on softball fields bigger than 315, and see fat, old, beer drinkers hit 12" softballs over the wall. Wrigley is supposedly a hitters park and its 355 down the line, thats 40 more feet. That hokey hill and pole in center field? Yeah, I know its a throwback, but back then it was done out of need. I can’t wait until I see a Astro star player hobbled by that silly fucking outfield. Need I mention is a fucking retractable DOME? Lame, lame, lame.

I don’t buy the juiced ball theory, people love saying that, I think its crap. How do you juice a ball without anyone knowing…people have cut balls apart and can’t find a single difference. Everyone of course fails to mention that 10 years ago no one in baseball was built like Sammy Sosa. Barry didn’t start chasing records until he added 35 pounds of muscle. The ballparks are smaller, and players are a hell of a lot stronger…I think that is reason enough, not to mention that the players are pretty damn good right now too.