Off the top of my head
(meaning - there might be one or two more down the road):
By the end of Requiem For a Dream there was a violinist or two I wanted to commission a Trotsky-like hit on.
There’s a special place in limbo for the god-awful feel-goodery of the theme for The Greatest American Hero.
It’s hurtful.
Mel Brooks gets loungey with High Anxiety.*
*with Nurse Diesel,of course, being one of the few redeeming features of the film.
Yeahbutsee, high anxiety and greatest American hero were supposed to be lame. That’s was the joke! I vote that intentional badness shouldn’t count. I have a vote, don’t I?
To actually participate, I couldn’t stand the westworld theme. Tho I guess it kinda fits the show in being too full of itself and pretending to be deeper than it was. However I did watch it all and will probably watch season 2 as well.
Yep, they were serious.
Sure, Brooks was trying to camp it up for H.A., but I’ll bet you a lot of Zimbabwean dollars that Greatest…Hero was written with an earnest ‘adult contemporary’ feel and intent, hoping to woo the Christopher Cross/Rupert Holmes market, but with more of a wholesome family bent. The treaclier than poo market.
How many is “a lot”? 10 billion?
Anyway, I admit I haven’t seen the show since it was on, but I remember it matched the shitiness of the hero pretty well. But that’s 11yr old me talkin. My first tape I bought with my own money at that time was a-ha.
There is a Netflix show called “Republic of Doyle” that has the lamest lead-in music I have ever heard. The lyrics, in total, repeated many times: “Oh yeah.” At least it’s short.
Also, just in general, note to Netflix, people are going to binge-watch these things, you release the whole season and once and you have to know this, and they don’t need the intro repeated, it’s annoying even if the song is not bad. There should be an option to skip this for binge-watchers. But even as a non-binger I don’t need to hear it.
There usually is a “skip intro” button. But it is only fleetingly available. You really gotta pay attention to click it.
The 1978 Godzilla cartoon inarguably has the worst theme song of all time. It starts off getting you pumped for the show but then the song completely changes genre’s and then gets “wacky” and you absolutely lose all interest in the show.
I always thought the original Mission Impossible TV theme was a great theme song in its own right, and while the one done for the first Tom Cruise movie was a good update the section that starts at 1:14 in completely loses me. The techno-y update of the original is great but then you get that bizarre almost moaning sound for absolutely no reason that doesn’t sound like it belongs and isn’t present in the original TV theme. Ruins the entire song for me despite me liking everything around that brief section.
I don’t particularly like it when a show opening song is a cover of an existing song since unless it’s a genre change so it’s thematically linked it just screams lazy. I especially don’t like when they add an American (or at least in English) song to a foreign show just to make it seem more “American”. Now take all of that and add it to a show clearly made in the 80’s now being shown in 2003 and you get the entirely bizarre opening to the anime Saint Seiya now renamed Knights of the Zodiac and being aired on Toonami. It’s the oddest most jarring juxtaposition.
You mean, “UP FROM THE DEPTHS, THIRTY STOREYS HIGH, BREATHING FIRE, HIS HEAD IN THE SKY, GODZILLA, GODZILLAAAAAAAAAAA! and Godzooooookeeeeey”?
Yup - wrote that out not having heard it since about 1983.
Mighty Hercules: “Virtue in his eyes, iron in his thighs”? Really, that’s what you came up with?
Tales of the Wizard of Oz: It’s a bit lame by itself, but what made it really painful was that they seemed to play it 100 times in a 15 minute episode.
Wyatt Earp, Wyatt Earp,
Brave, courageous, and bold
Long live his fame and long live his glory
And long may his story be told.
…sniffle…Kinda chokes you up, doesn’t it?
There are a lot of good to great classic tv show themes that you could listen to just as songs.
But Cannon isn’t one of them. It just doesn’t fit the tone of the show. It’s bland, boring and forgettable. Cannon was a decent investigator, and he needed a theme worthy of Matt Dillon. 
I was once in a diner booth at BWI airport getting some breakfast before an early flight. The little booth jukebox was either busted, possessed, or someone in another booth really loved this song because it kept playing over and over again, never quite getting to the very end and restarting immediately.
I would wager the fine vestments and raiments gracing my very personage that if you’d seen it now, then it would be your current self talking as well, and with that, I can’t find any holes in the argument of said correlation of shittiness between actor and theme.
ok now really, like, come on! Quincy? (cued up at the only worthwhile part of opening)
I might have to get insulting-in-advance here and say that if you derive any auditory pleasure from this Crime Against Humanity then you are a part of the problem, not the solution.
My god.
Utterly fascinating.
Of course, the song’s quality pretty much matched the show’s.
Suddenly Susan. NBC sitcom with Brooke Shields. In the first season, the theme song was an electric guitar version of “Ode to Joy”, which I actually liked: a touch crazy, and over quickly.
For season 2 and later, they replaced that with this saccharine number, an opening song and sequence so syrupy you could pour it over pancakes. Bleah.