Never thought much about our age difference until some friends were discussing their daughter. Conversation went along the lines of ‘Oh, we’re so worried about Jenny. The man she is seeing is so much older than her…I mean, it can’t be normal, a man of that age can’t have anything in common with a girl of her age.’
‘So how old is Jenny now?’ I asked. ‘She’ll be 22 next birthday.’ ‘And how old is Alan?’ ‘Well, he’s 30 years old…old enough to know better. Dirty old man.’
The conversation moved on, and the subject of wedding anniversaries came up. We had just celebrated 16 years, and the question of our ages when me married arose. I was 22 and Mr Sqwert was 30. We watched them do a double take at each other, and enjoyed them squirming as they tried to talk their way out of the earlier ‘dirty old man’ comment. But I suppose it looks a deal different from the parental perspective. I think the age difference is as important as you want it to be.
My mother and father are 22 years apart in age. They’ve been married for 35 years. Also, my aunt met her 33 year old husband when she was 15. They stayed married til he passed. When I was 18, I dated a guy who was a good decade older than I was for a long time. I’ve actually never dated a guy less than 5 years older than I. I started dating at 17. :eek:
Fifteen years older than Mrs Phoenix (42/27 when we met). We have been living together for 4 years now, married for over 3. We have a great marriage, and after the initial weeks, the age difference has never been an issue.
My parents were 40 years apart–she was in her early 20s, he his early 60s. There were a lot of other variables that contributed to the uniqueness (and sometimes awkwardness) of the dynamics in our household, but I’ve never known two people to love each other more, and I never saw them fight my entire life. A lot of people disapproved of their marriage, but they didn’t care. They knew they were right for each other.
My younger brother (by six years), who is 36, is, and has been for about ten years) married to a woman who is approximately 60 (she’s not real forthcoming about her age). They seem to get along quite well. Maybe that’s because they don’t speak the same language (she’s Japanese, he’s Irish-American). They’re learning a bit of each other’s language as time goes on, but it’s slow.
My sister-in-law has a daughter from her first marriage. The daughter is married and has a five-year-old son. Which makes my baby brother a step-grandfather, which is a little odd.
Right there with Evil One. Met my girlfriend on the net. We interacted for about 6 months online before we met in the flesh. I am 48, she is 29. What can I say…we work. Wouldn’t trade her for anything.
The only problems that we run into are my groans when she takes me out for a drive and persists on over-revving the engine.
Y’all are pikers–we know how to do this here in Texas. Look at the Texas Dept of Health’s vital statistics data, specifically the ‘greatest age difference between bride and groom’ from the 2000 marriage registry.
That ain’t robbing the cradle-that’s robbing the frickin’ womb.
A-yup, you got that right, aaslatten. One of many little facts I’ve found on the 'net that I generally prefer not to think about.
Just imagine-the elder partner almost certainly has been married before, probably has kids. And grandkids. And great-grandkids. Some of whom are older than his/her spouse. :eek: Imagine if they produce offspring. Wouldn’t it be wild to babysit your half-granduncle?
Evil One, we have been together a little over a year now. Still smokin’! Making plans for what to do when I kick before she does is good for a few laughs. She has promised to have my urn dressed in a little Hawaiian shirt and to keep me on the mantle where all of her boytoys can see me. So romantic.
Both of my aunt’s husbands were seven years younger than her – we tease her about being a cradle-robber. Not quite as extreme as some examples, but still a decent sized gap.
I Googled for biggest age differences, and found the following for various US states:
Alabama, 2000: Biggest age gap was 60 years; oldest groom was 98; oldest bride 91; youngest groom 15; youngest bride 14.
Alabama, 1998: Biggest age gap was 71 years; oldest groom was 93; oldest bride 88; youngest groom and youngest bride were both 14. Tidbit – most number of previous marriages for male divorcees was 10, most number of previous marriages for female divorcees was 8.
Arkansas, 1999: Biggest age gap was 57 years; oldest bride and oldest groom were both 97.
I’m 16 years older than my S.O. When we met, I was 40, he was 24. We’ve been together for 10 years now.
The main age-related issues we’ve had have been on my part. I worry about looking middle-aged while he still looks pretty young. And, just occasionally, I think it would be nice not to have to “think young.” If I was with someone a little closer to me in age, some days we could just sit around and grouse about being old farts and share a little Old Fart Bonding Time ™.
But I’m pretty juvenile most of the time anyway, and he’s mature, so we meet in the middle most days.
I have been dating a man off an on for the past 3 years (now on for good) who is 30 years older than me. I’m 28 and he’s 58. My mom would probably disapprove but since she’s dead I don’t have that issue. My daughter’s paternal grandmother, whom I am very close to, definitely does not approve. Although there isn’t anything she could say to dissuade me from being in this relationship.
The age difference is a concern to me because I see all of his aches and pains (normal for a man his age), the changing sleep cycles, decreased sexual stamina and it just reminds me that it is very likely he’ll die well before me. Which is very heartbreaking because I just can’t imagine anyone else suiting me as well as he does.
This is amazing! I’m so glad I found this. I’m just now entering a relationship like yours. I met a man on the internet, and he’s 18 years older then me. He’s the most incredible man I’ve ever met. It’s only been four months that we’ve been communicating online, but I can already tell that what we have is serious. I want to be with him, I think I might even love him. But reading this made me realize how many consequences there are. It’s just that whenever I’m with him (when I’m talking to him, we still haven’t met in person) the age doesn’t matter. He makes me happier then I’ve ever been and I know I can make him happy.
I guess what I’m asking for is advice as I go forward with this. Anything that you wished you had told yourself before entering into your relationship with your wife. Or maybe even anything she could tell me would be great. Thanks!
Well, first of all, they’re 29 and 49 now, so he’s not more than twice her age anymore. Second of all, isn’t meeting someone and finding out who they really are a little more important than thinking about the age difference right now?
