I stumbled upon a blurb about 3-year-old Madeleine McCann’s abduction this morning and immediately felt sick thinking about this kind of thing happening to my little girl. I mean, it could happen to anyone, right? However, as I read more about what actually transpired I felt much better, because it turns out that this could never happen to me, because I’m not a fucking moron.
I’ve read a few accounts of what happened today, each with a different set of numbers regarding how far away they were and how often they checked on the children. But at the very least, they left three children, the oldest of whom is 3, sleeping alone in their room while they went out to eat.
I’m sorry, but that is unforgivable. My wife and I took our 2-year-old daughter on vacation a few weeks ago, and we wouldn’t consider leaving her alone long enough to go down to the car to get bags together, much less to head out to a nice dinner.
If you Google around for articles or blog posts about the case, you’ll find plenty of responses either admonishing or supporting the parents. Here’s a typical support message:
Excuse me for being able to multitask, but I can do both. I’ll save my sympathy for the little girl, whose best outcome in front of her is still too horrifying for me to even think about.
I haven’t been keep up with the news the last little while, though I had heard about the abduction.
But they left the children alone? In a strange place? To go out and have supper?
My son is the same age as the missing girl and I couldn’t imagine doing that, especially in a strange place! He sleeps well at home, but he was very restless when we were away and we were only at my Dad’s. At that age, they can easily wake up and not seeing Mommy or Daddy they wander off in search of them and get totally lost. A hotel room would hardly keep in a child who was determined to get out.
I feel for them, that Madeleine is missing and they must be kicking themselves so hard now. But… my god show a little common sense! Did they do that sort of thing when they were at home? If not why would they do it while on vacation?
Steve Huff and The True Crime Blog UK have been keeping pretty up to date on the abduction, and some of the commentors live in Portugal so can update faster than the British press. Here is the most recent entry.
Could there be a cultural reason for this seemingly strange behavior? Are the couple British? Are there segments of society in Britain (or anywhere else for that matter) where it is considered safe and usual to leave children sleeping unattended?
I think there is a somewhat different European mindset on this. I remember a celebrated case from about 10 years ago in the US (east coast city, IIRC) where visting parents left their kid in a stroller outside when they went shopping. (IIRC, the parents were Danes.)
They were cited for child endangerment, or something similar, and the case got a huge amount of press on both sides of the Atlantic. The European consensus seemed to be that the Danes acted reasonably, that parents do this all the time in Europe, and that the American authorites overreacted.
Maybe they did. Don’t assume that every place in the world shares the USA’s paranoia about child safety. This reminds me of a scandal 10 years ago in NYC, where two Danish parents left their child in a stroller outside of a restaurant, but in full view, while they were eating. Linky dink stating that this practice was common in Denmark, but unthinkable in the US.
On preview, this is the event Random remembered.
I cannot understand leaving three little kids by themselves this way. One 3 year old? Maybe, depending on the circumstances. But three kids that young? No way–that’s a recipe for trouble even without the possiblity of someone abducting your kid.
I feel sorry for the parents and of course no one deserves to lose a child. But obviously they weren’t thinking clearly here.
Am I the only one who thinks this is fishy? Which is more likely? Scenario A - stupid parents do stupid thing, and a pedophile happens to be around to notice their behavior, figure out it means the kids are alone, somehow manages to avoid hotel security and break in, and then abducts one of the three children. Or Scenario B - parents do something negligent or deliberate to cause the death of the child, and concoct a bizarre, but heart-wrenching story to cover it.
Cheesesteak I wasn’t assuming. Mostly thinking if they did this sort of thing at home regularly, then it wouldn’t be that odd that they did it there.
I’m also thinking as a parent of a 3 year old myself. I’m in a different country, a strange place. My child is going to be more excitable and restless than usual. He might wake a few times during the night and want me, or I might put him to bed and he’ll keep sneaking out when I think he’s asleep (speaking from experience here).
A hotel room (at least any hotel room I’ve been in) to get in you need a keycard but there is no way of sturdily locking a door from the outside to keep a child in. The lock is only slipped when you’re inside the room (and my son could easily get it open if there was a way to lock it from outside). Half an hour is plenty of time for an average 3 year old to wake up, look for Mommy and not finding her open the door and slip out to search, getting lost in the process.
That’s my thought process. I wouldn’t be worrying about abduction, I’d be worried he’d wake up in a strange place and wander away looking for me.
I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not, but in a vast majority of cases where something happens to a child, a parent or another family member is involved. Any recent criminology students around here know the percentages? I’ve been out of school too long.
From the article, it says the restaurant was “on the other side of the swimming pool” 40 yards away from and “within sight” of the room. If that means what I imagine it to mean, I could see the thought process that says this is no more dangerous than letting the kids play in the pool area while you eat.
Of course, this one article represents the sum total of my knowledge of the situation, so take it with a grain of salt.
On a parenting board that I belong to, the British mothers said that they would never dream of leaving a child alone like that and don’t know anyone who would.
I think something smells fishy in this story, too. The parents have given different stories, some of the witnesses’ stories are strange…it just doesn’t add up.
I also heard that witnesses in the restaurant reported that after the mother went to check on the kids and found the daughter missing, she came running back into the restaurant yelling, “They’ve taken her!” Not, “she’s missing” or “she got out of the room.” I take all reports on the internet with a grain of salt, but if that’s true, it definitely makes me think the parents are in all of it.
That quote more properly is attributed to the author who also contributes to Crimeblog.US, The True Crime Blog UK, not Steve Huff, who owns Crimeblog.US and also posts there. Things are written by Steve Huff, unless otherwise noted, and it was noted that True Crime Blog UK wrote “What Happened to Madeleine McCann?” Just making sure to give credit where credit is due. (The person who writes TCBUK does not choose to go by any other identity, though I think they are otherwise known as one of the D.P.s who comments.) ETA: Steve Huff has written for Court TV, and has been interviewed on various shows, I believe Nancy Grace was one of them. (He also sings Opera, and has remitting and relapsing MS)
In response to the posters who express curiosity between the cultural difference, the leaving-the-kids-alone-for-30-minutes-while-going-out-to eat part isn’t seen with remotely the same paranoid angst on this side. Of course, incidents like this - however rare; I can’t recall seeing one the last three-four years - begs the question if it should be.
I admit I don’t know the reason for this difference in Europe and the US.
(The person who writes TCBUK does not choose to go by any other identity, though I think they are otherwise known as one of the D.P.s who comments.) ETA: Steve Huff has written for Court TV, and has been interviewed on various shows, I believe Nancy Grace was one of them. (He also sings Opera, and has remitting and relapsing MS)