My sister had almost the same thing happen at her wedding. Except, in her case, most of the so-called professional photographer’s pictures turned out awful or not at all.
Fortunately, my husband, along with several other folks took pictures too. Most of the the photos we took turned out just beautifully. We burned all the photos onto a CD and gave it to my sister and BIL. Additionally, we blew up one of the photos of the bride and groom under the trellis, had it put on canvas and put a lovely frame around it and gave it to them 5 months later as a Christmas gift. Why five months later? Because the so-called professional photographer still hadn’t given my sister her damn photos! So, we wanted them to have something special.
At any rate, as someone has already mentioned, maybe other folks took photographs and they’d be willing to send you copies or CDs so you can print them yourself. Sometimes, even though folks aren’t “professional” photographers they manage to snap some amazing pictures.
Congratulations again on your marriage. I hope you all find peace, strength and happiness in each other.
Bridezilla? I think not. I’m not one of those people that are really ‘into’ weddings and all that, not even sure if I want one that includes more than nuclear family and best friends when the time comes, but I’d still be pissed. Wedding pictures are something most people like to have taken and in my experience (family members etc getting married) that everyone enjoys looking at. I like to take pictures, but I’ve never shot an event. I still know that it’s the photographers job to take the pictures - they should have asked who to focus on! It just makes sense to make sure the family are in plenty of pcitures, rather than the acquaintances. To me, it’s a “duh” thing. The wedding party/parents/grandparents and all that seem to be the most photographed for a reason. I’d rather have pictures of my family and his family rather than the neighbors or coworkers or whoever else was there. In a perfect setting, everyone would be in one somewhere but the family and wedding party should be the focus.
So I say fuck the name callers. I don’t see you as being unreasonable at all with your unhappiness over the photos. I’m wary of brides to be but I am seeing no evidence of being a bridezilla. It’s perfectly reasonable to expect the photographer to figure out who should be the focus of pictures. Like I said, it’s their job.
On second thought, in my post I put too much of the onus on you. The photographer should have sought out what you wanted - a truly good photographer would have. I think she was just coasting and trying to use the smallest amount of effort she could get away with.
It could have been prevented if you had made your wishes known, but that doesn’t mean it was your fault.
This is my feeling about it. I did not get all the photos I wanted at my wedding (although the photos were much better than what Indygrrl describes getting). I realized too late that it is really, really smart to write a list for the photographer of all the photos you would like, and what style you would like them in (formal vs. candids, etc.) Sure, the photographer should be trying their best to figure it out, but that won’t matter when the wedding is over and the photos aren’t taken the way you wanted. I always advise everyone planning a wedding to be sure they write down what they want. Once the wedding is over, the food is gone and the band is done playing, but the photos last forever…you want to be sure they are done right.
Honestly, if you wanted specific pictures of specific people, you should have planned it out with the photographer. How large was the attendance? We had ~150 people at ours, so I figured from the get-go that if we just left it up to random photographs we’d end up with more “who the hell is that?” and “hey, that’s my cousin’s creepy boyfriend that she brought along without RSVP’ing, leaving us scrambling for an extra seat at the reception” pictures than great ones that we wanted. Different photographers work different weddings, and I guarantee that for every party that only does posed pictures, there’s another one that only does candids. If you wanted specific people in pictures, you really should have planned it out.
This is not to say that this is “bridezilla” behavior by far; it’s not. But neither is this “horrible, bitch-cunt” behavior on the part of the photographer.
A slightly different viewpoint: Our daughter was married a couple of years ago. We investigated photographers extensively, looking at portfolios and sample wedding albums. There are at least two types of wedding photos available these days. One is the traditional where you line up all the family groups and take mug shots. The other is more a photojournalism type technique. Some photographers will do only one or the other technique but some will do a combo of both. However, many brides these days want a completely non-traditional photojournalism approach (see the knot forums). From this
it sounds like you got a photojournalism type photographer.
It seems like you had very little interaction with the photographer. At any point did anyone sit down and talk to her about your expectations of the photos? Did anyone point out who your important relatives were? what stuff you wanted photographed, etc?
Also are you sure you got all the photo’s? We got a CD with about 25-50 pics that the photographer liked the best about a month after the wedding. And later we got over 1000 proofs to choose from when compiling the wedding album. We were told we got them so “quickly” because the wedding took place outside the May, June, July rush period.
And on a related note: do you know what was included in your “paying for the photographer” gift? Some photographers charge by the hour and roll of film to take the pics and then you pay extra for either the finished photos or the negatives, some offer wedding packages which include a CD, album, proofs and sometimes the negatives. Maybe you should ask your friend what was included.
Please note, I’m not calling you a Bridezilla, but it might not be too late to ask some questions of your friend and make nice with the photographer.
Okay, I’m anything but a bridezilla. I was extremely mellow about my wedding, obviously too much so. I didn’t want to stress every little detail, and I didn’t realize it would be necessary to make a list for the photographer so that she’d know to take a few pictures of my family and friends. This woman advertises herself as a professional, experienced wedding photographer.
And her services were a gift to me from a friend. I thought it would be taken care of.
The reason I put the rant here is because I can’t say anything to my friend about it, and I can’t go throw a fit to the photographer. I simply wanted to vent my anger and disappointment. It’s not like I’m saying she ruined my entire wedding, just that she did ruin the opportunity of getting photos of important people in my life on my wedding day. I’m not over here crying and convulsing over it, but I do think it’s ok to rant about it to get it out of my system. That is, after all, what the Pit is here for.
Why can’t you say anything to your friend about it? Even if only just to let her know that said photographer isn’t that great, and perhaps she should think twice about hiring her for another wedding?
For what it’s worth, I don’t think you sound like a Bridezilla. This was your first wedding, right? So how were you to know? As the “experienced” wedding photographer, she should have gotten a list from you, not the other way 'round.
What did you end up serving for food, if I might ask?
I am a wedding photographer, and when I hear stories like this, I’m simply shocked that certain photographers even get hired again.
Even if you are a wedding photojournalist, you WILL get photos of mom, dad, grandma, best friend, etc. Being a journalist is documenting the story and having the news sense to know what the important parts of the story are. Some wedding photojournalists may not do any posing, but most will do at least the traditional shots. At any rate, this is something that should have been communicated to you during your conversations with your wedding photographer.
As for the time, what did she tell you turnaround time was going to be? In my business, I promise 3 weeks, although that does not include any printed proofs or printed products of any sort. Two months is not ridiculous, but it’s not the fastest, either. The name of the game is managing client expectations. If she communicated to you that your pictures would be ready in a month, well, something’s amiss.
I think my wedding pictures are all still in a giant envelope somewhere.
Admittedly, I’m not a “picture” person, but I think wedding pictures tend to be pretty overrated most of the time. I don’t think most people do much with them once taken.
Lemme chime back in here too. You are very far from a Bridezilla, going on your OP. ( and your personality here as a Doper. )
kung fu lola, with all due respect I gotta disagree with what you said. I could know nothing about Indygrrl and her family or the groom’s family and I could go through the wedding day and deliver a lot of the expected images. I happen to detest the "shopping list " type of photogs, I much prefer the photojournalist types. However, I GET IT and could do it.
Her photographer didn’t get it. It doesn’t mean jack shit if she knows the families involved or not. Many but obviously not all weddings follow a certain pattern and photographers know this. Even in a very unusual wedding in terms of a less-familiar religious ceremony or odd family/friend groupings, a smart photographer would ask just a quick handful of questions before the day began.
Photojournalist or traditional “shopping list of expected groupings” ?
Color or B&W?
Can I pre-set flash units in the hall/room? Will I need them? May I see the place before the Big Day ?
Is there an amateur photog type in the family who knows the players, who is dying to glom onto me anyway? ( there always is one, or two, or eleven… ). Send them to find me first thing.
What will you do with these? Huge prints on the wall, regular album, many albums for family, etc.
Not hard to find out, and then go and shoot the day. Sounds like she got shafted on a big day.
On my wedding day, my Uncle- a very very seasoned amateur photographer with killer gear and a good eye- agreed to shoot our wedding. He had two bad things happen- he got drunk fast, and had contact lens problems. I have exactly ONE photo of my wedding day. Incredibly, it is the moment we kissed. We moved and he moved, so the Maid of Honor and background are slightly blurred but we are crisp. It’s a one in a million shot, which is nice, beause it’s all we got.
The photos WILL continue to matter, if the marriage and the day matter, for years to come. Just don’t let the upset now become a bitter thing every time you look at the images. Enjoy everyone you see, instead of being mad over the folks you don’t see.
But it’s your WEDDING PICTURES!! If that’s not worth doing it over for, what is??!!??
Just joshing. I’m sure it’s pretty small beer when weighed against the importance of the day itself, and even moreso the marriage. At the very least, twenty years from now, when Indychlld is planning a wedding, you’ll be able to offer this experience to the bride and groom when they’re deciding what instructions to give the virtual reality recordist (or whatever the de riguer technology is by then).
We got pulled pork from a local bbq shop and served that with homemade mac and cheese, baked beans, cole slaw, and potato salad. A few different people helped make everything. The food was very good and we got lots of compliments on it! It was easy too.
Lesson learned about the photographer, at least we got some good ones of my husband and I. Hopefully my aunt took some of the family. My mom is going to ask her about it.
Talk to your friend and find out about the contract. Then go on The Knot and post about it nicely. Suggest that anyone hiring her make sure to reveiw expectations.
I wonder what would have happened if yours had been a destination wedding. She cannot possibly feel that she did a decent job?
I was lucky and had an elopement package at WDW. I was handed a list of suggested photographers. I started at the bottom of the list and that gentleman offered a package of 3 sets of prints, negatives, three wedding ablums,& 3 videos for $500. But he also suggested that I call the others on the list too. I called three and went back to him. WDW Photog services wanted $1,000 downpayment and bad-mouthed the other guy. Which I promptly passed on to my wedding coorindanator. The day came and the photog was polite, very caring, and we had our prints, negative, and videos within two days!
I understand that he worked every weekend and his customers are only there for a short time-so for him practice makes perfect.
I wonder if this isn’t a case of “you get what you pay for”.
You say this photographer was a gift form a friend?
Well, that must be one helluva friend. Do you know how much professional wedding photographers and photos go for these days? It usually runs over $1000 and goes into the thousands.
I can’t see getting anything quality for a $200-$400 photographer.
Well, my friend is very generous. It wouldn’t surprise me if she paid a large sum for this photographer. That’s part of the reason I don’t want to complain about the work. I feel like she gave me a very big gift in hiring the photographer for me and I don’t want to seem ungrateful.
I do know that the woman was hired to be there for three hours. There is probably an hour’s worth of photos on these cds.
My parents’ oldest friend, who they’d known since high school, is a wedding photographer. So he gave his services as his gift to my sister at her wedding. Well, some of the first roll turned out fine - he misloaded his camera, though, and none of the other shots came out at all. Zip. Nada.
I’m not into weddings, so I tend to suspect you’ll have bigger triumphs (and bigger disappointments) in the years to come – but still, she did a terrible job and I don’t blame you for being incensed. Particularly since this was a gift.
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