Lazy, annoying bitch of a wedding photographer...

My wedding was two months ago and my husband and I have been waiting on edge to see our photos. I don’t know how long it generally takes to get wedding photos back, but two months seems long to me. When I emailed this bitch about it she was very short with me, like I was annoying her by asking. Anyway, the cds arrived yesterday and much to our dismay they are very incomplete, leaving out several important people.

There are pictures of us and there are random pictures of our guests, but there are none of my mom, my sister, my two brothers, my sister-in-law, my two best friends who were by my side throughout the day, or of any of our close friends. There are two photos of my daughter, and her face is obscured in one of them. And there are only a few of my step-daughters. There are none of my husbands parents or of his brother and sister-in-law, or of his other brother’s boyfriend who was there. She did get a few of my dad, but that was only because we did a father/daughter dance. And luckily, my husband’s family took some group photos and she got in behind them and snapped a few (that we already had, because his uncle took some).

We had our wedding outdoors at a beautiful farm and she took about four pictures that include scenery. She missed a wonderful opportunity, because she could have enhanced her own portfolio by taking pictures of this place. It is spectacular and she’s a fucking idiot for not realizing it. She also missed taking pictures of our tent and tables that we had set up. My friends and family spent hours getting that place in gorgeous shape and just perfect for my day. And I spent a lot of money getting everything just so. I don’t know how it is even possible to overlook such huge details.

Honestly, I don’t know what she was doing for three hours. She was sitting at a table with my friend who hired her, but I wrongly assumed that she was also taking tons of pictures during that time. The fucked up thing is that six or more of our other close friends were at that same table, but there are zero pictures of them. I guess she must have been so busy socializing and eating my food that she forgot to do her fucking job.

I am incredibly disappointed. I’d love nothing more than to call her up and bitch, but unfortunately she was hired by a good friend of mine as a gift to my husband and I. I can’t even complain because I don’t want to seem ungrateful. We considered it a huge gift and were very happy about it when we found out our friend wanted to do this for us. But really, I feel like my friend got ripped off. I have no idea what she paid the woman, but she deserves her money back.

The photos that we did get are quite beautiful and very artistic. I thought by getting a creative photographer we’d get some awesome photos, but I did not think that she wouldn’t know how to properly photograph a wedding. The album that I had envisioned will not happen. The huge, beautiful picture frames that were given to us will be incomplete as well.

I emailed her to see if there are more photos that didn’t get put on the cds, and all I got was a shitty reply from her.

This is the last email I sent her:

Believe me, I was holding back. I just dare her to say something shitty in response to that.

I feel like putting my hands around this bitch’s neck and squeezing her until she’s blue. How dare she act so flippant about something this important? I was pretty mellow about my whole wedding, but when you hire someone to do an important job like take the photos you expect them to be a certain way. You assume that they will include your family and friends in the photos. It makes me want to cry. That was my one and only wedding and the most important people in my life are missing from the pictures. I can only hope that some of the guests with cameras were able to get some better pictures.

I thought this rant would have more vitriol than it does, but I guess I’m more heartbroken than angry. Since this is the pit I will say that this woman is a bitchy cunt of a horrible photographer and I hope that someday she will be similarly disappointed by something like this. She is very lucky that her photos were a gift to me because if they weren’t I would go on The Knot (where she drums up business) and tell this tale to everyone on there. She should not be allowed to ruin anyone else’s wedding memories.

Congratulations on your wedding, first of all. I hope married life is proving to be rewarding to everyone in your family.

Have you thought about maybe doing the wedding again, and with a real wedding photographer, this time?

You do need to tell your friend who hired her. It would help prevent her from doing the same to other friends and messing up their photos also.

No, it was a massive effort to throw the first one. It was expensive and stressful, and even though it went delightfully well, I don’t ever want to do anything like it again. Some people flew in from other places, others are elderly. It was a pretty big deal to do it in the first place, so that will be it. I guess it’s just one of those disappointments that I can’t do anything about. I will just have to be happy with what I do have, photo-wise.

As others have said, congratulations on your marriage, I hope you both continue to grow and enjoy life. Can’t you hold an anniversary celebration somewhere, and get pictures of your friends and family celebrating with you? It’s not wedding day pictures, but this way you would have pictures of you with them celebrating the joy of your marriage. Maybe you could find a way to do something like that?

I might consider taking her to small claims court if she continues to be crappy in her attitude, or demanding reduced prices since she failed to fulfill her contract. (Er, what does the contract say, anyway? You might broach the subject with your friend.) She is in the wrong. Were they supposed to be candid shots? Didn’t you wonder why she wasn’t calling you all together and fussing and having you pose so she could get pictures? Was it that busy? :confused:

Congratumalations and etc, et al and all of that for your happy day. :slight_smile:

Your story reminded me why I had my BIL run around my wedding with his own camera and a modicum of photographic experience. He ‘shot’ people when they were least expecting it with no posing or posteuring for the camera…I can now look back nearly 25 years on my wedding snaps and laugh as I truly remember the day.

There’s no pretty pictures, by MY GOD, there are some wonderful memories!!


Honestly, I didn’t even think about it. We didn’t want to take a bunch of posed pictures, so I just assumed she would get candids of everyone. She basically got candids of all the wrong people. I am amazed that she didn’t think to ask to find out who my family members were.

I was pretty clueless about how things are “supposed” to be at a wedding. It was a non-traditional ceremony and I didn’t do anything by the book. Wedding photography is Greek to me and I didn’t think I needed to do anything. I thought she would take care of it. Obviously that is a lesson I learned the hard way.

Never have a friend do your wedding photos. Longstanding rule. Obvious corollary: never let a friend *control *your wedding photos. I know you thought you were saving a bundle by accepting this gift, but don’t you wish now you’d just paid the price yourself? I’m sad that your lesson was so painful to learn, but let’s hope it will help others who might read this thread.

If something is that important to you, bite the bullet and pay the price in order to maintain control over the process. Your friend didn’t give you a photographer; you gave her your control over the photographer.

The friend is not to blame for this, the photographer (who darned well OUGHT to know what is expected of her, and probably didn’t fulfill her contract) is! I daresay this is not the first wedding she has photographed, so she knew what was expected. (Other countries/cultures might have some traditional things that are also photographed, or not too.)

Maybe she didn’t want to steal your soul.

Have you sent out an e-mail to all your guests asking them if any of them made some more pictures at your wedding? Nowadays everyone has digital camera’s so the chance of getting some more nice pictures are very good.

You could also add other reminders to your album. Get a promotion folder of the farm where it all took place, and add it to your scrapbook. Add bills and receipts, recipies, the scraps of paper on which you and your friends did the planning, pictures from catalogues showing the dress, the cake, etc… Ask familymembers for their pictures of themselves, and add them to your album, so you still have pictures of these people and how they looked around the time of your wedding.

Having a very pricey digital camera and a good eye doesn’t make you a wedding photographer, it just means you have a pricey digital camera and a nice eye.

I’m a professional cameraman, and have been shooting stills since I ws 14. I don’t shoot affairs, and yet understand what is required because I’ve attended enough of em as a guest, and understand photography and group dynamics.

I shot my brother-in-laws wedding a few years ago as a gift. I videotaped it, that is. Three cameras for the ceremony, and me with my video camera nonstop before and after. I sat to eat the meal itself ( because they insisted and because my wife would have murdered me, thus preventing me from doing the rest of the videotaping. Besides, NOTHING is less appealing that videotape of people cramming food into their pieholes), but I shot nonstop aside from the meal.

Everyone made the tape. Not a single guest was missed, I got all of the speeches, lots of sweet/amusing bits before the dinner but after the ceremony, and a quiet sit-down with the new couple near the end of the party, where I asked them a few questions.

It takes attention to detail, a bit of fore-thought and focus. And, this was MY family mind you. Had I agreed to do a stranger’s wedding, it’d have been that much easier.

Congrats, I hope you enjoy the heck out of married life, and make a real effort to contact everyone who had a camera there that day. You may wind up cobbling together an excellent set of prints.


Our own bridezilla. how special. These people are like little children constantly screaming MEMEME. The arrogance.

Uh-oh…I see this thread suddenly turning into a 20-page meganovel.

What’s arrogant about expecting a paid professional to do a competent piece of work?

Not if we don’t feed it.

To the OP: I’m sorry to hear that. I had an uncle (who is a professional photographer) fly in and take my wedding pictures as his gift to us. He saved us a couple thousand dollars, but I was on edge and gritting my teeth that we weren’t going to end up screwed. Luckliy, we weren’t, but I remember very distinctly the sick feeling of, “is this all going to turn out all right?”

Words of comfort: if you’re still happily married ten years from now, the pictures won’t seem as important as they do right now. Sure, it’ll still be a bummer, but the sting will fade. And if you aren’t still happily married in ten years, then they’ll obviously matter even less. :wink:

(I hope you are. Best of luck to you!)

Agreed. She’s a photographer, not a mind reader. If you had specific expectations about what you wanted to get, it’s your responsibility to make sure you communicate those to her. If you didn’t take the time up front to review her portfolio and lay down your expectations, then it’s irrational to be upset because she failed to meet expectations that were never communicated.

But seriously, they’re just pictures. You were there, and the most important thing are the memories of the event you share with the people in your life who care about you enough to be a part of something so special. If something like not having a few pictures is enough to ruin it, then maybe you’ve got your priorities mixed up.

How do you have to be a mind reader to know that the bride would probably like some pictures of her family?

How about something to show the kids/grandkids? How about something to put in an album to look at later in life, when some of the memories aren’t quite so vivid anymore and need to be refreshed? Sure, they’re “just pictures,” but they’re pictures of one of the most important days of your life.

(bolding mine)

It was your job to communicate what you wanted. I’m not going to say the thing about assuming. You know the expression I mean.

I know it seems unthinkable to you, but some women just want wedding pictures that make them look like a princess. Some people only invite their family out of obligation. Not everyone cherishes their family and friends the way that you do - some married couples are islands and only want an album full of shots of the two of them. It seems to me like two people were making assumptions that day.

100 years ago, you’d have been lucky to get one group shot of the bridal party.