Least sexy video?

[Darren_Garrison]

Off the top of my head, I’ll go with Fat, or possibly Luka.

[kenobi_65]

I’m not finding it on Youtube, but Johnny Cash’s video for his cover of Hurt, while it’s brilliant and heartbreaking, is highly unsexy. If you haven’t seen it, it’s an elderly Johnny and June (both of them passed away soon after the video was shot), in their home and his now-shuttered museum, looking at pictures and artifacts from their lives.

I did find a GIF with a short clip of the video: https://media.giphy.com/media/hvW17EP9IOLqE/giphy.gif

(The song, without the video, can be heard here.)

[Go_Arachnid_Laser_1]

At first I thought this was an impossible question, since everything is potentially a turn on for somebody somewhere.
Then I realized: Coldplay. Nobody can find any arousal when a Coldplay song is playing.

[snfaulkner]

@Go_Arachnid_Laser

At first I thought this was an impossible question, since everything is potentially a turn on for somebody somewhere.
Then I realized: Coldplay. Nobody can find any arousal when a Coldplay song is playing.

This is true. Also Nickleback.

[BlankSlate]

Rock Me Tonite by Billy Squier. Ain’t nothing sexy about killing your career in five long minutes.

[burpo_the_wonder_mutt]

DEVO’s, “Are You Experienced,” featuring the corpse of Hendrix, sure turned my ‘nads to ice.

[Beckdawrek]

^^^you make me laugh, Burpo.

[Charlie_Tan]

Mildly NSFW:

Sexy and know it.
wiggle-wiggle-wiggle

[salinqmind]

Am I the only one in the world who thinks Todd Rundgren dragging the dead body of ‘Mary Jane’ around on the dance floor is kind of ghoulish? ‘Last Dance With Mary Jane.’ (but what do I know?)

[WOOKINPANUB]

Ohmagosh ohmagosh, I can’t believe I finally get to be the one to do this.

Also, Marilyn Manson makes me shudder with whatever is the exact opposite of desire.

Blank Slate, thanks for giving me a laugh (and a nose full of soda). I’ve seen that video many times, and vaguely remembered how goofy it is but that cracked me up just as much as the first time.

[WOOKINPANUB]

@salinqmind

Am I the only one in the world who thinks Todd Rundgren dragging the dead body of ‘Mary Jane’ around on the dance floor is kind of ghoulish? ‘Last Dance With Mary Jane.’ (but what do I know?)

Psssst. That’s Tom Petty and Mary Jane is actually Kim Basinger, so some (okay, one) there are at least some sexy elements.

[susan]

@Charlie_Tan

Mildly NSFW:

Sexy and know it.
wiggle-wiggle-wiggle

Indeed! It’s also a very unsexy Zumba routine around here.

[Hilarity_N.Suze]

@BlankSlate

Rock Me Tonite by Billy Squier. Ain’t nothing sexy about killing your career in five long minutes.

How did this kill his career? I mean, I’ve seen the comments on YouTube but those comments are sure not from the time of the video.

My nomination is Rockit (Herbie Hancock, who had nothing to do with making the video), because I think they were trying for sexy and got uncanny. Or maybe they were trying for weird, in which case they hit it.

[Baron_Greenback]

Joy Division Atmosphere. It’s basically a weird funeral procession laden with images of the recently-deceased Ian Curtis.

I’m surely it’s technically possible that someone can get off on this, but… :dubious:

[EinsteinsHund]

Every R.E.M. and every Nirvana video. They didn’t do sexy.

[mbh]

@Hilarity_N.Suze

How did this kill his career? I mean, I’ve seen the comments on YouTube but those comments are sure not from the time of the video.

Rock Me Tonite

Despite its major success, the song is sometimes associated with the end of Squier’s career as a singles artist due to the music video, which was described as one of the worst ever in the 2011 book I Want My MTV: The Uncensored Story of the Music Video Revolution.[2] Directed by Kenny Ortega, it shows Squier dancing around a bed with pastel-colored satin sheets. Squier’s concert ticket sales immediately suffered, and he later fired his managers. He has accused Ortega of deceiving him and altering his original concept, which Ortega denies. While Squier has remained steadfast that the video alone was responsible for the initial decline in his popularity, other commentators have been less certain.

The video for the track was directed and choreographed by Kenny Ortega, who later directed the High School Musical films. It shows Squier waking up in a bed with satiny, pastel-colored sheets, then dancing around the bed as he gets dressed, ultimately putting on a pink tank top over a white shirt. At the conclusion he leaves the room with a pink guitar to join his band in performing the song.

For I Want My MTV, their 2011 oral history of the network’s early years, authors Rob Tannenbaum and Craig Marks interviewed over 400 people, primarily artists, managers, filmmakers, record company executives and MTV employees. They said that none could agree on the best video, but all agreed that “Rock Me Tonite” was the worst. They devoted an entire chapter of the book to it.[4] Martha Quinn, an MTV VJ when “Rock Me Tonite” was released, called it “a super-fun video and a super-great song,” and commented, “I don’t remember that video being poorly received at the time.”[5]

Squier himself, and other observers, believe its homoeroticism alienated a significant portion of his fan base (predominantly teenaged boys at the time) and ruined his career. “I liked [him] very much,” says Rudolf Schenker of Scorpions, “but then I saw him doing this video in a very terrible way. I couldn’t take the music serious anymore.”[2]

Ortega suggested to him that he do some of the same moves he did during his show, without his guitar. Squier’s idea was that the resulting footage should be grainy and in darker, subdued colors, evoking the 1980 film American Gigolo. He rejected a suggestion by Ortega that it look instead like Tom Cruise’s air guitar scene near the beginning of the 1983 film Risky Business.[2]

He was trying to cultivate a macho rock-star image. The video showed him prancing around dressed like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance.

He was noted for his guitar work. He is not shown playing an instrument until near the end of the video.

I’m not certain the video is solely responsible for his troubles, but they say that his ticket sales dropped sharply after the video came out.

[2Bits]

Was David Bowie in the 80s thought to be sexy? Mick Jagger? Well, not so much here:

David Bowie & Mick Jagger - Dancing In The Street (Official Video)

[Hilarity_N.Suze]

@mbh

Rock Me Tonite - Wikipedia

He was trying to cultivate a macho rock-star image. The video showed him prancing around dressed like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance.

He was noted for his guitar work. He is not shown playing an instrument until near the end of the video.

I’m not certain the video is solely responsible for his troubles, but they say that his ticket sales dropped sharply after the video came out.

Got it. “Despite its major success” it killed his career. Because he was too prancy. Real men don’t prance. Gotta say, reading that I can see that the video might have been better artistically and thematically if it had been darker and grainier but at the time I thought it was sexy. Obviously a straight guy wouldn’t have thought so and they were the ones driving the culture. As always.

[Little_Nemo]

@EinsteinsHund

Every R.E.M. and every Nirvana video. They didn’t do sexy.

Pop Song 89 (I won’t post a link as it has female nudity)

[asterion]

“Money for Nothing” by Dire Straits. Unless you’re really into early computer animation.