WASHINGTON, DC–With Americans increasingly concerned about the Social Security crisis and nuclear threats abroad, a coalition of leading congressmen restated their long-standing commitment Monday to such non-issues as flag-burning, school prayer and Internet porn. “Make no mistake, Congress is still deeply committed to these inconsequential matters,” Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) said. “As long as we are in office, we will continue to clog up the legislative process with this trivial dross.” Hatch said citizens should feel free to e-mail his office with any other non-issues they feel are being overlooked.
And that 7-year-old girl who died trying to pilot a Cessna across the continent! Don’t forget about her, Congressmen! She was a cute seven-year-old girl! You Congressmen don’t hate cute 7-year-old girls, do you?!!
Yeah! And don’t forget putting up the Ten Commandments (King James Version only of course) in all the classrooms so the little dears will stop doing drugs and shooting each other and watching “South Park” & stuff.
No, Poly, the Geneva translation is the one. And use the original script, as well. The younguns will be so busy trying to decipher “f” from “s” and “v” from “u” that they won’t have time to do bad things.
The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik
It’s the Beatles’ fault… them and their long hair. If we hadn’t let them in the country, we wouldn’t be in the fix we’re in now. Tighten up the immigration laws! Keep them foreigners out! … unless they support the NRA, of course, then it’s OK to let them in.
And gays in the military! We can’t allow those filthy, immoral homosexuals to get shot at and die! That’s a privilege reserved only for us God-fearing heterosexuals.
If you’re thinking of the recent claim, it was a hoax. If you’re thinking of Indiana, their House passed a similar measure back in 1897, but it died in the Senate (thus it was never passed as a law). The site doesn’t mention what the value was, but my memory tells me it wasn’t 3, but 3.1 or something.
You know who’s fault it is, it’s all those damn midgets… “little people” my ass, they’re midgets… when they stopped being the fodder for jokes and taunting this whole country went to hell in a handbag!
Worse. It would have have FOUR distinct values, under the “theories” that that particular bill would’ve put in Indiana’s school textbooks.
The whole thing was basically a scam perpetrated by one man. He came up with his own hair-brained “alternative mathematics” theories (such as how to square a circle with only a compass and straightedge), and then told the Indiana Legislature that he’d give them all patent rights to his theories if they’d put it in their school’s mathematics texts. Thankfully, that bible passage about a molten sea 10 cubits across and 30 cubits around was NOT the motivation for the deal.
Quick-N-Dirty Aviation: Trading altitude for airspeed since 1992.
I don’t think it’s fair to place the blame for all of our nation’s problems on midgets. After all, they’re only a small percentage of our population.
(Hanging my head in shame for actually having stolen a joke from Rip Taylor.)
