A message has come from Supreme Lefthanded Command today. It’s time to start executing The Conspiracy. Get to work.
i’ve begun to excecte my part of the plan. let me know if anything else is needed.
Could you do me a favor and oversee the construction of Slave Camp 104B-DD3? I hear they’ve been having some organization problems.
I’d just like to say that Dead Chipmunk sympathizes with your cause, and if elected, he’ll do what he can to support you. Vote Dead Chipmunk for president!
BTW, I’m left handed too.
All is ready in the north.
I have replaced my boss’ mouse with a leftie mouse, as per orders.
Awaiting further instructions.
I’m not a leftie, but my daughter is. Trouble with that is that she’s forgotten just what it is she’s supposed to do. She’s three. If you’ll let me know what it is, I’ll see to it that she gets it done. I promise.
Not a leftie, but glad of the warning.
:::Watching Mrs. Bluepony real closely now, in case she gets called on to do her part of this heinous plan:::
…come to think of it, my Jack Russell terrier favors his left paws too…
:::hovering over dog with rolled up newspaper:::
All the non-left-handed scissors have been confiscated. I await further orders.
My part’s done.
::tapping fingers against each other::
Eeeeeeexxxcelent.
:
:
It’s time for Phase 2.
Pipeliner, have your men begin changing all the MetroCard readers to the left side of the turnstiles.
inoci, I’ve assigned you an entire Division. Your troops will be in charge of invading all major broadcast centers and media distribution points and start the Lefthanded Propoganda Plan.
Gunslinger Begin the Mandatory Genetic Testing in all major cities to weed out the righties pretending to be lefties.
Persephone Have your men begin building railroad lines to the slave camps.
That’s all for now.
Word has come down that all Ambidextrous individuals are to be given righty privelages but NOT sent to the Slave Camps. Redirect them to the Brainwashing Camps.
Dead Chipmunk is our ally. Phase 2 Mission Objective 19A is now the focus of all resources towards rigging the elections.
Area Commander-General Smudge All is delaying for no good reason, but to his own end be it. I have disabled all of the electric tin-openers and distributed manual left-handed openers (some extremely rusty).
Icky Nooky – Nooky Icky Boss.
All spiral notebooks and steno pads have been changed so the binding is now on the right side of the notebooks! We will no longer have binding obstructing our writing abilities!
< evil laugh >
All text will now be inscribed in a right-to-left manner, including handwriting; this way, we will eliminate those annoying smudges caused by dragging one’s hand over wet ink.
!tey sruo eb llahs dlroW ehT !!krow tnellecxeProject Lionel is underway, sir.
My daughter starts school tomorrow, so if you wish, she will begin recruiting. The Little Lefties are young and impressionable, just the kind of recruits that can make this project work.
okay, I have captured one of those %# lefties, and just shot another. Let me know what else I can do.
I say we begin severing left hands.
…
…oooooh! #$#~!
I thought we were trying to rid the world of lefties. well, it seems I’m in a peculiar position here…uh, bye!
Ok I have started placing Auto ingnitions on the left side of the steering columns in our effort.
Awaiting further orders.
Osip
I’ve got the Beltway and I-270 blocked so evil righties can’t escape DC.
Doing my part in Washington, DC and environs,
Monty