I’m currently at work in Orlando, Florida reversing lanes of traffic, so that everyone will drive on the left side fo the road, and the FREAKIN’ SHIFTER AND STEREO CONTROLS ARE FINALLY ACCESSIBLE BY MY LEFT HAND!!!
Also, I am currently producing left-handed notebooks out of my apartment. Production will increase once demand rises, and I am able to expand into a larger facility.
I would also like to recommed that all fountain pens be immediately destroyed. If lefties can’t use them, no one can.
Cy Coe, you need to move to Australia!
We already drive on the left side of the road. On divided roads there are signs that remind you to keep left. And when I sit in my car, I can be assured that I will find the gear selector and the stereo controls to the left of me.
Today, Australia, tommorrow the World! Lefties Rule!
Yes. Finally the moment has come. Connor is here, willing, and able.
I will dedicate these next 72 hours to replacing all zippo lighters and bars of soap with their left-handed counterparts.
Conversion must be subtle and done under cover of night.
.ecaeP
I am ready to spring into action as soon as I am clear on which plan I am to execute. Is this the “sinister” plan, or the less tastefull “gauche” contingency? I have trouble getting these things right the first time, but I don’t want to be left out. (My lack of dexterity and my two left feet will make the dancing and juggling part of the distraction difficult if we go with the gauche version of the plan.)
Har har har. Just go kill us some righties, OK?
Right…I mean correct.
Agent JimmyNipples reporting in.
I’ve placed left handed pencils all over the office.
Those bastard righties are confused and angry.
Now what Left-tan-ant Friedo?
The toilet paper. The toilet paper must be switched.
Around here we call that turning them over. Just kidding really, because I am one of us. I shall start my subterfuge at the lowest common denominator, I have a pickup truck loaded with leftie bowling balls. Distribution will commense anon.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by friedo *
inoci, I’ve assigned you an entire Division. Your troops will be in charge of invading all major broadcast centers and media distribution points and start the Lefthanded Propoganda Plan.
done and done. it was surprisingly easy. these media types are all wimps. there was this one guy name kent that went down like an empty paper bag. i can’t seem to find him anymore though.
say, what’s that in the sky? a bird? a plane?
Damn! I turned the wrench clockwise instead of counterclockwise and instead of disconnecting the pipe I just stripped the threads!
All cake cutters, pie servers, and spatulas have been altered for left-handed use. Coffee mugs have had the pictures placed on the correct side, so that we can actually see and enjoy the picture while we are drinking.
Awaiting further orders.
Next: Remove the word “right” from all dictionarys, encyclopidias, etc. Make “right” an outcast word, never to be used.
“Right is Wrong!”
From The Righties’ Command Post:
Yawn. We'll set out the loudspeakers.
"Your other right!"
There we go - got 'em going in all different directions. Maybe they’ll invade Canada.
Just kidding!
I wouldn’t want to do that to the Canadians. 
Post 17668 of New York is mobile, we are ready to deploy. And we did find the left handed smoke shifter, It’s being fedexed to H.Q.
Now, MEB, realize my sister is in this group, and remember to hate the sin, not the sinner.
Let’s just let them wander around for a while.
I’m not being serious here, folks, so let’s keep the fun going, hmm?
It’s all becoming v-e-r-y clear…
It’s not just a coincidence that we were all told Lefty Loosy Righty Tighty as a kid.
Methinks some of you Lefties are a little Loosy!
[sub]::d&r::[/sub]
Ehhhhxcellent. Now for a Universal Declaration of Human Lefts.
Wait, Sinister Squads!
We can give them both barrels! While you’ve been converting all blasphemous Dextrous objects to the proper opposites, I’ve stealthily scoured the metro areas to change what were once bilateral objects into Lefty-only paraphenelia! Now those slimy Righties will be the ones complaining!
Let’s see them try to use a light switch now! Or maybe they would see their forks and spoons still usable…psych! Gotchya on those, too!
Hail the Sinister Revolution!