I’ve replaced all the baseball gloves in the Yankees locker room with left-handed ones.
Awaiting further instructions.
Oh, of course. I’m not one of those extremist ranters like those nasty people over at www.godhateslefties.com. But it’s not very loving to not warn them that they need to repent of their depraved, immoral, godless, sinister lifestyle or fry in Hell for all eternity, now is it?
Reporting for duty, Sir! I’ve been saying for years that the right-handed facist regime would fall, the time is upon us…
Look guys. It’s never going to work! You’ll raise your rifles, fire… and then hop around in pain cause the hot brass cartridge got ejected onto your arm.
I know cause I shoot rifles left handed…
makes secret hand signal
The cheese is ready. Prepare the sporks.
Proposed Law #1: Wearing your watch on your left wrist shall be punishable by death.
Proposed Law #2: All righties shall be “re-educated” (except those that play shortstop and catcher - some things you just can’t argue with).
Proposed Law #3: (Blank until we find out which hand Opal uses to stir the soup)
Proposed Law #4: All weed-whackers shall be designed so that lefties can use them without having the clippings thrown back at them.
Proposed Law #5: There will be special “Lefty Only” lines at the grocery stores, DMV, amusement parks, etc. If we are going to be a minority, let’s get some preferential treatment.
Proposed Law #6: There must be peace between the sinistrial factions. We cannot have those who hook while writing battling those who don’t.
Proposed Law #7: A holiday must be set aside honoring those who were forced while young to write with the other paw. Truly veterans of our struggle.
Proposed Law #8: ALL ANIMALS ARE EQUAL, BUT SOME ANIMALS ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS.
"Long live the Revolution"
In keeping with my bend sinister, I reversed all the bathroom doors in the neighborhood last night; The sounds of meaty ‘thunks’ and swearing lent music to the dawn, and made many Evil Righties late for work.
Use a hotter load; they fling clear! Or wear long sleeves as I do when shooting. Or get a bolt action.
Another leftie checking in. I was trying to take out some righties with my M-16, but the damn shells kept hitting me in the cheek 'cause I was on the wrong (right) side of the gun. Even their weapon design is part of a conspiracy to keep us from killing them! Maybe I’ll go after them with a can opener next time.
Damn, I missed Blackclaw’s post. Sorry. I was reading right to left and mistranslated.
News for paramedic lefties!
Intense lobbying of biomedical equipment manufacturers has been instigated to rid the world of right handed laryngoscopes.
Australian road signs rule - they read “KEEP LEFT”
Brothers! Where have you gone! The fight must go on!
Orders received.
Imported pencil sharpeners from Mexico will have the crank on the proper side.
Reporting from Helsinki: The Leftist Alliance has succeeded. They never knew what hit them, other than that it was designed for left-handed people. Awaiting new orders.
Wiping the graphite smudges off the side of her hand, to uncover the crucial part of the plan tattooed there…
Having grown overly familiar with my right hand, I periodically switch off. Am I bi? Ambidextrous, that is. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But both hands are threatening divorce.
My neighbor, Bluestreak says there needs to be more left-handed musical instruments. All music will cease until then. You are fairly warned.
Love to All,
TN*hippie
Onward the revolution! My cell has begun switching desks at local colleges. Now let those rightists twist in THEIR chairs to use that tiny table top. Bwahahahahaha!!!
Also restringing guitars and basses sureptitiously all over town.
I’m starting to re-plumb all the houses in Oregon, so that the COLD water is accessed first, saving us from the vast right-side conspiracy that we blister our proper hands, rendering them useless.
Let me know what to do next.
I thought you meant politically…