Will someone buy me some alcohol so I can get drunk and post? I’m too cheap to buy more than a 12-pack every month or so.
Get yourself some corn, a kettle, a still, etc and have at it!
They won’t let me drink at work. 
I no longer have a computer at home. Yet another thing in the long line of crappy things that have been going on in my life. So I’m guessing any of the other places that I post from would likely frown on drunkenness.
Truthfully, I don’t ever drink much anyway.
Do they frown at drunkeness at the public library? As long as you’re quiet, you’ll be cool.
Do we we used to do. Buy a slurpee dump it out and fill with beer then go to the library. Only we didn’t go to the library.
Funny, my drunk grammar and typing skillz are impeckable.
If you weren’t going to the library, why’d you dump the Slurpee out?
You should have just mixed them. 
You should never drink the bong water.
Welcome to the thread. 
Amateur. Drunk typing is an essential skill for the modern wino. Poor typing interferes with the bullshit.
And no, I am in fact stone cold sober. And at work. But not jealous. Oh, no.
I am not sure if I am legal or not, I obviously need another shot…
OK probably legal now
Anybody know if vodka and squid go together? That’s about all I have left in the fridge.