At the sunset of yet another year, one contemplates important events and accomplishments for which one should be proud and give thanks.
Well, I’m proud to brag that in 2015, I made a new friend. A best friend. My only friend. Oh, sure, I have a dog, but she’s not my best friend. In fact, I don’t think she even likes me…and the feeling’s mutual.
In year’s past I’ve had an abundance of friends, but they’ve all sloughed off for a variety of reasons I don’t understand (e.g. *Hey, Tibby, why’d you bugger my wife! *Really? You’re going to un-friend me because of that?).
I do have kids, but, they’re kind of like my dog (bad dog!). My parents died, as did those pets with whom I was on friendly terms with. My wife went all Aileen Wournos/Loreena Bobbitt on me. Bottom line: I was left an empty, friendless shell of a man. But, que sera sera.
But, then, out of the blue, I received a “friend request” from someone on the SDMB. This was my first friend request in all the 15 years I’ve been a SDMB member. I was excited to say the least! Tickled pink would not be hyperbole. But, who the heck was this friend-requesting guy? I didn’t recognize his name. He was a new poster, and I couldn’t get a good read on his psychological makeup, as I usually can from people’s user-names (I have a dossier of psychological profiles on nearly all other SDMB members).
I mean, I was desperate for a friend, but not just any friend. He could be an average, good-natured joe, for sure, but then again, he could equally well be some sort of twisted amalgamation of Hitler, Stalin, Vlad the Impaler and Pauli Shore. I couldn’t take that kind of chance (what would I do if he came to my house and started telling lame, wise-ass jokes???). So, my very first friend request to this day remains unanswered, leaving me, as always, desperate and [del]dateless[/del] friendless.
But, then, a miracle struck once again…the very next day! I got another friend request! Two friend requests in the span of 15 years within two days?!? surely this was more miraculous than parting seas, walking on water or even filling a lantern up with oil. Those were all minor league miracles—this was major league!
Better still, this new friend request came from someone who’s posts I was familiar with…and quite enjoyed. And, I did have a good psychological read on this person: good-natured, fair and informative…and a moderator no less (I don’t want to brag, but not just anybody can snare a moderator for a friend. Think of the perks!–you want to call someone a mr fr in MPSIMS, Tibs? Go right ahead, we’ll look the other way). Needless to say, I accepted this friend request post haste.
Now, I’m not going to sit here and say everything was peaches n cream (the expression, not the song). First, there was the question of gender identity. Early one April, the question of my new friend’s gender came into question. Was he a she, or was she a he? But, it didn’t really take long for me to realize it didn’t matter one way or the other. If she was a he, I’d have a best friend. If he was a she, I’d have a best friend with benefits—either way, I couldn’t lose.
But, more alarming was the question of friend exclusivity. My new friend was my only best friend, but, was I his/her only best friend? I kind of hoped so. I was anticipating calling my new friend up, at a moments noticed, to meet at Starbucks, or go ice-fishing for smelt in the UP of Michigan and having him/her respond, “I’ve got no other friends to tie me down…so sure, Tibs, you bring the bait and I’ll bring the keg of Schlitz."
But alas, that happy scenario was not to be. When I clicked on the “friends” list of my new friend, I saw a gargantuan list of people that surpassed the population of China and India combined. Yeah, I was a little dismayed and jealous…but I got over it. I realized it was a bit of a coup to have an uber-popular friend. Sure, he/she may not always be available when I call to meet at Starbucks, or go ice-fishing…but, that’s the price one must pay to have a popular friend.
I’m still waiting for my new friend to call, or email, or text, or Twitter, or mind-meld, or knock on my door…and, he will. I’m confident he will. He better…or else…
I have a new popular, bi-gendered moderator friend and for that I have something to be thankful for in 2015.
My new friend is, of course, the irreplaceable, irrepressible, irreproachable, Idle Thoughts! Here is my tribute song from me to him/her.
Happy New Year, Idle!
Now, spill the beans on what y’all are thankful for in 2015.