Let Us Speak of Salsa

To qualify as salsa. 90% of the mixture must, I believe, consist of a chopped up mix of tomatoes, onions, bell peppers, and hot peppers, seasoned with fresh chopped cilantro, salt, and lime juice.

Some points to discuss:

If it comes from a can, or a jar… It is not salsa, it is something else. The pasteurizing necessary to preserve the ingredients ruins it. The essence of salsa is its freshness. Preserved it becomes something else in the same way that attempting to preserve a perfectly cooked prime rib destroys the essential prime ribiness and turns it into something else like Salisbury steak or beef jerky, or some such.

Salsa needs to be chopped. If you put it into a food processor, or a blender you have made some form of mush that at best might be called a dip. Salsa is chunky.

I don’t mind experimentation and variety, but if you are going to put crab, or black beans, or other such worthy ingredients into your dip you are venturing down a slippery slope. Should these things disturb the perfect marriage of tomatoes onions, hot and bell peppers overmuch than it is no longer salsa. It is done form of dip, and you should just call it dip. It can be delicious and amazingly good dip. Be happy with that. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just not salsa.

The ratio is important, but I don’t think it’s crucial. Your salsa can emphasize the tomatoes or the onions, or peppers, it’s up to you. However, I believe the perfect mix is something like 4 cups skinned chopped vine ripened non hothouse heirloom tomatoes. They should still be hot from when you picked them. You should use two cups of chopped onions. I used mostly sweet vidalias with with a little bit of Spanish white onion thrown in for bite. You should use one cup of chopped bell peppers. I then use chopped cilantro to taste (some cilantro is stronger than others. ). One finely chopped jalapeño, and the juice of one lime. I like to add a heaping teaspoon of fresh chopped garlic, salt, pepper, cumin, and a dash of Tabasco. I stir and let it rest for half an hour in the refrigerator, and it’s ready to go. It’s good with chips, on grilled chicken, as a side, or the ultimate condiment. Sometimes I just like to eat it as a salad, or snack on it with a beer.

I’ve tried using other citrus as a substitute for lime, orange juice, lemon, grapefruit, pineapple what have you. These are interesting and I’m not prepared to say they turn salsa into dip, but why mess with perfection? Lime juice is perfect.

I’ve tried all kinds of other things with the free 10% that my latitude gives me. Crab meat works well, but I question my integrity when I use fish. Have I lost my salsa ness and become and stepped into some purgatory or no mans land between salsa and ceviche? I avoid the confusion and restrain myself these days.

Some times a little pickled relish just elevates things to an amazing level. It’s a fine line, because the barest smidgen too much and it’s an inedible monstrosity. I don’t understand why this is true, but I hypothesize that it something like titrating a solution where one drop can suddenly turn a gallon of fluid from blue to red or something. Any insights into this would be appreciated.
I’ve noticed that salsa has some awesome properties. When I was a young man and dating, I would occasionally invite a date to meet me at my residence before we went out. I would strategically have the salsa about 80% done when my date arrived. Together we would finish making the salsa and have a few bites with some tortilla chips and a light beverage before we went out. For some reason this seemed to elevate my charm, good looks, sexiness or general worthiness in my date’s eyes to a surprisingly large degree. Fresh simple salsa that you make with somebody else is always good, and it’s a good excuse to incentive your date to come back to your residence after the movie or show. My wife and I chop and eat salsa together, and I’m surprise by how often things turn out well for me later that evening. The fresh earthiness of salsa is a natural aphrodisiac. To me, salsa is the essence of hot sex after you’ve gotten back from the beach and taken a shower but your skin is still hot and just very slightly burned from the sun. Mmmmmmm.

Back in the day, if I was chopping salsa with a member of the opposite sex, it was all over except for the moaning. I am pretty sure that this had nothing to do with me, it’s just the natural power of salsa. Try it, I’m not kidding.

Salsa cures hangovers.

You can eat salsa and then go play tennis, run, golf, eat a big meal, or whatever physical activity you desire. It ruins nothing but accentuates everything.

If you are on a diet, and you forego the chips you can eat an infinite amount of salsa and still lose weight.

If you eat too much ham you get a Hamover and feel sick. Too much meat, cheese dairy, beer, or almost anything else has all kinds of ill effects. However, you can’t OD on salsa. It’s just good and good for you.

Questions? Thoughts? Debate? Disagreement? You have a better methodology? Salsa memories.

I like salsa.

Maybe. Kinda. Sorta.

I mean I can see your point. Fresh made salsa is definitely better than store salsa.

But if you completely reject store salsa and only eat fresh made, you’re putting too much pressure on the salsa. You’re saying every time you make salsa it’s a production and you expect great things from it.

Sometimes you just want to relax with salsa. Open a bag of chips, open a jar of salsa, and have at it. Enjoy the simple things of life.

Salsa fresca is a sub-set of all salsas. But it isn’t the entire universe of salsas.

Nemo:

That’s why I make a lot at a time. Put it in the fridge and it’s good for a week. Maybe more, I’ve never seen it stick around long enough to go bad. So much better than that mushy pasteurized over salty shit in a jar. Like everything else, it’s worth a little extra effort to force it right.

Sounds like you’ve dialed in a nice recipe for a pico de gallo sort of thing - but the fact that you refer to “hot peppers” as a generic ingredient, and seem to think that tomatoes, onions, and/or and bell peppers(!?) are key ingredients to “salsa” lead me to believe there’s an entire world out there you have yet to explore!

You left out store-made salsa. Not heated, just put into one of those plastic market containers and placed in the refrigerated section. They’re not all good, but at least they are fresh. People seem to be afraid to make them hot, or even a brisk medium, but that can be cured with the addition of a jalapeno or a serrano. When I don’t feel like making my own, that’s what I go for.

I believe in the supremacy of the humble jalapeño because of its excellent flavor. they grow well in my garden.

Habaneros have a turpentine sort of flavor that I don’t like. I’m no pepper head but have occasionally had some sweet hot chilis that I thought were sublime. I recognize that there is a world of peppers out there that I can’t get fresh here and that I am the lesser because of it, so point taken.

I’ve even had a decent one of those from Walmart. Still, the uniformity of the tiny little cubed pieces is off-putting to me, and I’ve occasionally picked one up that was just nasty. Better than from a jar, I’ll admit.

If you want to branch out, have you tried making one with grilled (or broiled or roasted) ingredients (chiles/tomatoes/garlic/etc?) Or do you have access to tomatillos? - if so, you might have a try at a green salsa…as far as the effect of the pickle relish, you might experiment with adding vinegar and/or water and/or sugar in small amounts.

I made salsa last night for the first time in about two years, but here are some of my deal breakers or Must have’s to be real salsa to me.

always use white or yellow onions, what the hell is this purple crap? purple is not a color of the Mexican flag, amigos!

make salsa while you are angry. transfer all of your annoyance, attitude and rage into the bowl so the heat transfers to the flavor! look out innocent bystanders!

Salsa is always fresh. Made today, eaten today. There is no such thing as, “I’ll just slip this into the refrigerator…” Pancho Villa did not have a refrigerator!! The salsa stays on the table, gets eaten…all gone… then you showed up late? too bad, make new salsa or next time speed over to my house, lazy!

Cilantro leaves, amigos, not the stems.

Lime? ok just a little, but you’re better off saving if for the guacamole.

If you really want to be fancy shmancy, fire roast the tomatoes, onion, a few cloves of garlic and jalapenos on a grill and then rough chop them, add a can (WHAT?!?!?!?) of Pato sauce (the can with the duck on it) shake some salt and 1/4 of water, sprinkle cilantro leaves liberally, crushing them to release the fragrant oils and then ask for a heads up when ICE shows up to take you back.

Orale.

What this guy says. It’s only a small portion of the salsa universe. My favorite salsa fresca/pico de gallo type of thing is xni-pec, made with habaneros, chopped tomatoes, onions, sour/bitter orange juice, cilantro, and salt. I could eat this stuff by the bucket.

It can come in a jar, as long as it’s not from New York City.

Not only what silenus and pulykamell said, but:

  1. Bell peppers don’t really belong in pico de gallo (what you’re making) or salsa in general, IMHO.
  2. My favorite salsas don’t have tomatoes in them, but roasted tomatillos.
  3. Salsas don’t have to be chunky, at all. Salsa just means sauce.
  4. Cooked salsas don’t usually suffer from being jarred/canned.

Bell Peppers.

Bell.
Peppers.

You’re telling us real salsas can’t be blended, etc… And you add bell peppers??
This completely invalidates you!

For me the timing is key.
For the first 8 hours it’s just a vegetable salad of tomato, peppers, onions etc. After about 8 hours it has mixed and fused into perfection that is more than the sum of it’s parts. Then somewhere around 24-36 you start to lose that excellent gardeny-fresh taste. Still good, but past it’s prime.

I’ve made a salsa with smoked salmon and minced fennel in addition to the regular suspects. It was nice.

And I like to add some avocado, without adding enough to stray into guacamole territory.

What we’ve got here is…failure to communicate.

What have we learned so far? Salsa is incredibly interpretive. To each his own. Do what thou wilt.

My personal faves? From a jar : Rick Bayless has a salsa brand with roasted tomatillo and green olives. Slightly spicy but incredible flavor - on top of scrambled eggs makes for a fine dish.

From the wife’s garden : she makes a cucumber based salsa with a hint of fresh dill. Absolutely delicious. All the regular salsa ingredients (tomato, jalapeno, onion, cilantro, garlic, salt, lime etc etc) but add in some freshly chopped dill and diced cucumber. NOM.

Salsa is too generic a term to be just Scylla’s recipe, though it is basically the same as my generic recipe (bell pepper optional, more jalapeños). I also do an “Italian” version with balsamic vinegar and basil substituting for lime juice and cilantro. Black bean and corn salsa is also very nice.

AMEN! Sing it, brother! (Or sister!)

Bell peppers are an **abomination **in salsa.

Also, they give me heartburn.

Well, I hate chunky salsa, so all the more for you. (I hate anything chunky, including peanut butter). I agree putting it in the blender doesn’t work, but I haven’t found how to make the perfect salsa - mostly smooth, but not frothy, with texture and richness BUT NO FREAKIN CHUNKS.

And slightly spicy, but not too much. I don’t want so much heat it burns my face off.