There are many fine and wonderful things in this life, in this world: The love of one you love, the smile of a child, a sunset, etc.
Fairly high up on that list yet seldom given the credit and appreciation it deserves is Salsa.
Great Salsa on a fresh tortilla chip is absolutely heavenly.
On the other hand even bad salsa on a crappy chip is very very good.
There’s nothing in this world wrong with a can of Old El Paso hot and chunky on a Tostito.
In fact, it’s pretty damn good.
I think it’s a damn sight better tasting than an average meal in an expensive restaurant. I love the explosion of flavor in my mouth that Salsa gives. I love the chunky vegetables scooped on a chip.
Even bad Salsa is very very good. I cannot recall a Salsa that was not yummy.
Salsa is always salacious and unexpected. It’s like suddenly smooching in public with an attractive stranger.
Even the name is great. Say it with me.
Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salacious salsa salivation.
It’s just cool. Like the name “Antonio Banderas.”
“Hello. I am Antonio Banderas. I have brought you Salsa. Now we will make love.”
I would love to lick Salsa off my lover’s lips.
Breathe deep the spicy heady aroma, and know that you live in a world of privilege unequalled in history that you can just run over to the Quick-E-mart and pick up some Salsa and chips for a couple of bucks.
I like to experiment with Salsa. I’ve never tried to make it, but there is so much to buy. Newman’s Salsa is particularly good, as as are the fresh salsa’s in the refrigerated section.
Tostito now makes a super thick chip, that is perfect for the yummiest thickest Salsa. You see, the only thing that can go wrong with Salsa is that you can break your chip. Tostito has addressed this Salsa engineering problem, and the thick chip can now handle even the most Banderas Salsa.
Tostito’s Salsa is good too.
Sometimes you get that Salsa in a restaurant that is really finely ground. I like mine chunkier, but finely chopped is ok, too.
If my salsa is too mild, I can add Tabasco too taste, so there is no such thing as a salsa too wimpy to be beneath my consideration.
Because of it’s acidic nature, Salsa has antiseptic qualities. You can use it to clean your hands, or in a pinch to sterilize a wound.
The heat from Salsa comes from Capascin, a chemical which releases endorphins in your brain. These are the same chemicals you get from narcotics, sex, or exercise.
Therefore it is chemically a fact that Salsa is pleasurable.
I am trying to place Salsa on the goodness scale. Perhaps you can help me.
Salsa is better than_______. Salsa is not as good as______.
For me, Salsa is better than a 10 minute massage but not as good as a day spent on a tropical beach with a good beach bar.