Let's compile a completely useless desert-island library

You know those lists of books you’d take to a desert island? This is the opposite of that. This is a collection of books that would be spectacularly useless if you were stranded on a desert island.

They won’t be useful (except maybe as kindling), they won’t be entertaining, they won’t help you escape the island or learn animal husbandry or find inner peace.

Assume it’s your standard desert island – no boats, no lights, no motor cars, etc. The only rule: they have to be real books.

My nominations:
Firewalls for Dummies, 2nd Edition
Rachael Ray 365: No Repeats
The Eat Right for Your Type Complete Blood Type Encyclopedia
Essentials of Contract Law


Who Moved My Cheese?
Writer’s Market 2006
The Yellow Pages.
Roget’s Thesaurus
Elements of Style

Physicians desk reference
Pediatric Advanced Life Support Instructors manual
Personal Finace for Dummies

How to Win Friends & Influence People

Collin’s French Dictionary.

Parks Garden catalog
Ikea catalogue
TV Guide Fall Preview Issue
Survivalst (Braille edition)

How To Learn Sign Language
The Joy Of Sex

Oops. That should be

The Joy of Sex (Braille edition)

Cotton Vitellius A. xv/the Nowell Codex

Mountaineering: The Freedom of the Hills

SAS: Mountain and Arctic Survival

The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan.

You knew someone was gonna say it…

Ridiculous! Why, just one of those books will guarantee you fuel for your fire for years!

<Rereads the OP>

Oh, except for kindling. Never mind.

The Farmer’s Almanac. At least, not unless the paper is nice and thin…

The pop-up illustrated da Vinco Code.

Leonard Maltin’s 1984 Movie Guide

Anything by Nora Roberts.

Dr. Phil’s entire self help collection

Ebert’s Little Movie Glossary
Dynamic HTML for Dummies
Frommer’s Guide to Budapest and the Best of Hungary

Pretty much anything by any of the authors covered in this thread.

(Well, most of them . . . I wouldn’t mind having a few Stephen King volumes on my desert island. YMMV.)

A Humument (a book-length project made by painting on top of a Victorian novel)
*The Heart of a Humument * (the same, using only the middles of the pages)
Consumer Reports 2005 Car and Truck Buying Guide

Oh–and The Silver Palate Good Times Cookbook

The Bible.
Aw no he did not just say that!