I am not mozzarella cheese. (Somehow I think that retort would sound best if delivered indignantly by Lt. Worf of Star Trek. “Captain, I am not mozzarella cheese!”)
Sure-- but that isn’t the correct expression. It should be “You can’t eat your cake and have it too.” Which makes a lot more sense.
"It’s good to be the king." -Mel Brooks
Not if you are King Charles I.
pussies
cheese? is that the best you could come up with? :rolleyes:
… Okay here’s another one, let’s see if you can do better.
"Revenge is a dish best served cold."
That was the last thing I ate, and pussy was too obvious.
Obviously, you’ve never had the immense satisfaction of setting fire to the collection of stuff your ex left at your house. Including his favorite shirt. 
I’ve never understood, though, how birds of a feather flock together, and yet, at the same time, opposites attract. Or how absence makes the heart grow fonder and yet most people say out of sight, out of mind.
This one is true. I am fast, cheap, and easy.
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
Not so. Wealth can be generated as easily at night as during the daylight hours. Winess the success of all-night adult bookstores and street corner crack sales. There is also nothing inherently healthy about arising in the pre-dawn hours. A more accurate phrasing of these sentiments might be something like:
Investing sufficient capital and labor in a viable business while still budgeting enough time for a personal fitness regimen that includes adequate rest, nutrition, and exercise will increase a person’s net worth without detrinmental effect on that person’s health regardless of whether the business’ hours parallel traditional business hours
Revenge is not actually a dish at all, but rather an act. Besides, some of the best versions of revenge involve boiling lead.
"The bigger they are, the harder they fall."
Daniel
Two wrongs don’t make a right.
Well, multiplying two negative numbers does yield a positive number, though.
Good things come to those who wait.
There’s a lot of good shit I could wait all my life for that will never come.
Find a penny, pick it up and then all day you’ll have good luck.
The day my back gives out from doing this my thoughts on this one will surely change.
There’s a sucker born every minute.
The earth’s birth rate has increased since P.T. Barnum made this quote. It needs to be updated.
Seek and ye shall find.
Depends on how much time and patience you have looking for the damned thing!
“When God closes a door, he opens a window”
How about you just leave the door open?? Much easier access that way, I mean why make me work to get thru a damn window with a perfectly good working door right there!
“Making a mountain out of a molehill”
You dont “make” a mountain…mountains are made by shifts in the earths plates smashing into each other! And since when do moles make hills? dont they dig down?
“Your penis is as large as the distance from your thumb to forefinger”
This is not true I have large hands!!
Hi! Fist post on the SDMBs:
The early bird gets the worm…
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
Hi! First post on the SDMBs:
The early bird gets the worm…
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
ETA: Damn, first post and I get it wrong. Well it can only go up from here, right? Right?
First, welcome!
Second: It can only get better from here is certainly a proverb…and I do believe it was invented by someone with very very limited imagination. Things can always get worse.
<obligatory Young Frankenstein reference>
Could be raining. KABOOM
</oYFr>
Oh, and I’m with Catsmeow: Applebee’s Triple Chocolate Meltdown tastes waaaaaaaaay better than thin feels. Not that I remember how thin feels, but that’s a whole nother topic.
Hi Susan, welcome…
They say, "Patience is a Virtue".
and
"Always proofread your posts." 
They’re wrong. The seven virtues are Rectitude, Valor, Benevolence, Respect, Honor, Honesty, and Loyalty.
I would’ve found more examples of the seven virtues, but that would take too long, and it’s not like patience is a virtue.
Daniel
The squeaky wheel gets the oil.
WRONG!
The squeaky wheel gets replaced.
Ah, yes, Read twice, post once. I’m sure that’s biblical
And DOB, where do you think the dirt that moles dig goes? If the holes are to go down, the, dirt must come up. Not a lot, mind you, which is why it is a nice juxtaposition to mountains.
well I was going to come up with a nice snappy reply here, but im still looking up the meaning of juxtaposition! Ya know, you just dont see that word often enough
welcome to the boards!
"Practice makes perfect." :rolleyes:
"There is honor even among thieves…"
and what exactly did you steal Sue?