Let's Help Trump Raise Some Money

[John_Mace]

He has no staff to speak of and is raising no money. I honestly think he doesn’t really want to be president. He’s as shocked as we are that he got this far, and the LAST thing he wants is have to be bored out of his mind for 4 years and miss all the real estate deals during that time. If he for some crazy reason actually won, I think he’d quit after a month.

[wolfpup]

@John_Mace

If he for some crazy reason actually won, I think he’d quit after a month.

One of his well-known supporters can show him how it’s done.

[Karen_Lingel]

SF Chronical article yesterday says Trump spends most of his campaign money to Trump businesses: his campaign rents space in Trump Tower, he buys cases of Trump Water, he buys wine from Eric Trump Wine Co…

[Wesley_Clark]

I read one big problem is that to get big donor money the candidate has to call the donors, answer questions and kind of kiss their asses. Trump has a giant ego and is used to being the one whose ass is getting kissed, not the one kissing. So that is a problem, his ego won’t let him play the fundraising game.

[Roderick_Femm]

@Karen_Lingel

SF Chronical article yesterday says Trump spends most of his campaign money to Trump businesses: his campaign rents space in Trump Tower, he buys cases of Trump Water, he buys wine from Eric Trump Wine Co…

Nitpick: Chronicle (I expect better from an SDSAB member)

[darkgoddess]

@wolfpup

I’d happily participate in a televised fundraiser for The Donald. The way it would work is, you pledge $5000 and in return you get to hurl insults at him on national television, and he only gets the money if he stays nice and quiet for five full minutes and smiles the whole time. You can use any insults you like, but “short-fingered vulgarian” must be mentioned at least once.

If he passes and is still smiling after five minutes, you get to make him a “deal”. You spin a wheel that has varying amounts between $0 and $50, and that’s all he gets, because you are a Deal Maker and he is a Loser. The wheel will also have a position marked “Bankrupt”, which requires The Donald to give up everything he’s earned in the game so far, and the player is required to declare “Huzzah! Another brilliant bankruptcy!” while giving The Donald a swift kick in the ass.

I would watch this!

[Wesley_Clark]

@wolfpup

I’d happily participate in a televised fundraiser for The Donald. The way it would work is, you pledge $5000 and in return you get to hurl insults at him on national television, and he only gets the money if he stays nice and quiet for five full minutes and smiles the whole time. You can use any insults you like, but “short-fingered vulgarian” must be mentioned at least once.

If he passes and is still smiling after five minutes, you get to make him a “deal”. You spin a wheel that has varying amounts between $0 and $50, and that’s all he gets, because you are a Deal Maker and he is a Loser. The wheel will also have a position marked “Bankrupt”, which requires The Donald to give up everything he’s earned in the game so far, and the player is required to declare “Huzzah! Another brilliant bankruptcy!” while giving The Donald a swift kick in the ass.

YouTube took down the comedy central roast of Donald Trump, but you can always watch that.

[Voyager]

@wolfpup

Guys, girls, and promoters of redundancy: Mexico’s finances are all committed to some massive construction project along the border. They don’t have so much as a spare peso any more.

Hmm, maybe they can make a remake of the Cask of Amontillado (using Trump wine, of course) with Mexico paying for the wall to wall him in.
For the Love of Two Corinthians, Montressor!

[Karen_Lingel]

@Roderick_Femm

Nitpick: Chronicle (I expect better from an SDSAB member)

Ooops. I get cubical and cubicle mixed up too…

[John_Mace]

@wolfpup

One of his well-known supporters can show him how it’s done.

You betcha!

[Chimera]

Can we just throw him down a disused industrial chimney? You know, the big round brick units.

“Did you just throw Donald Trump down a smokestack?”
“No, we have merely provided Senor Trump with a more localized wall for his protection.”

[Der_Trihs]

Convince the Devil that if he pays Trump enough money, Trump will take his soul back.

[John_Mace]

The GOP needs to make sure he’s got a good VP, because I honestly think that if he DOES get elected, there is a decent chance he will a) quite b) get impeached.

[TwoCarrotSnowman]

Have A Go Wearing The Wig - $10

[elucidator]

@John_Mace

The GOP needs to make sure he’s got a good VP, because I honestly think that if he DOES get elected, there is a decent chance he will a) quite b) get impeached.

You give good typo.

[Senegoid]

Yes, both. He will get quite impeached.

[Nava]

@RivkahChaya

Only if he sings it in Yiddish.

Personally, I think Ladino would be more fitting.

[OffByOne]

@Karen_Lingel

SF Chronical article yesterday says Trump spends most of his campaign money to Trump businesses: his campaign rents space in Trump Tower, he buys cases of Trump Water, he buys wine from Eric Trump Wine Co…

Most? Or 10%?

[OffByOne]

@John_Mace

The GOP needs to make sure he’s got a good VP, because I honestly think that if he DOES get elected, there is a decent chance he will a) quite b) get impeached.

c) shot?

[Chefguy]

Trump stated (in Scotland, of all places) that he would “probably leave the E.U.”. I can only hope he meant the Etats Unis. Is there any chance he can be put on the no-fly list while he’s there?