What are you doing with your $5k?

Politics & Elections
1

Trump promised every adult $5,000 if the Republicans hold onto the House and Senate. The bond market didn’t react, so either they think he’s lying or that the Dems will win, I guess.

But, I’m bought in! Let’s spend that money!

Spend it on hookers and blow? Not too many, I guess – $5k won’t go too far, I imagine.

Maybe give it to Mamdani’s campaign? The DNC? Epstein victims? Send it to Carney’s reelection campaign? That’s probably not legal, I guess.

Buy Canadian goods? Give it to Planned Parenthood? PBS? NPR?

So many options! What will you do when the check shows up?

2

I figure I’ll combine it with my $2K DOGE money and take a cruise.

3

Oh right! Where did I put that check? I’m sure I saw it somewhere.

4

I’ve got a few charities that I’ve long supported. Any dough that basically falls from the sky and lands in my lap get shunted their way.

5

I’m going to Disney World!

6

I’m going to spend it on my 1500% off prescriptions and make an even bigger fortune!

7

I love getting all those checks from the pharmaceutical companies.

8

So now he’s trying outright bribery. Is there no end?

9

No. there isn’t.

10

Add the $2000 tariff rebate to it and you can upgrade to a premium cabin!

Livin’ la vida rica!

Brilliant!

I’m going to use the $5000 to stockpile the $2/gal gas that is sure to come immediately after the Republicans win in November and end the Iran war, then resell in 2028 after the Democrats win and the price goes back up to $6/gal.

11

So, I guess you’re not sending your money to the Trump campaign or RNC?

Maybe I’ll pick up an Alembic bass. I started playing bass a few years ago and I’m doing a lot of gigging. Those Alembic basses are beautiful!

12

I’m buyin’ a Tesla. Vroom!

13

Down payment on a 5090.

14

Oh man, the tariff rebate money, too!

So much money coming my way! Doge, tariffs, >100% discounts on drugs, and now this! No wonder everyone is so happy about the economy!

15

Is it bribery if there is no intent to actually pay it?

16

It’s going to be awfully hard to endorse the check with all that slime covering it.

17

You got me there.

18

I’m low on TP.

19

Only Tesla for $5k is a cybertruck.

20

With Republicans in charge, I’ll spend my $5,000 on a loaf of bread.