from Rudolph the Red-******* Reindeer (Censored Version):
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to *********:
Rudolph with your ****** so *******,
Won’t you ******** my ******* tonight!
Been watching Unnecessary Censorship?
Happy fami!ies are all alike. Unhappy families are pretty much all alike too. So, really, there’s no point in telling this story, since you’ve probably heard it before.
Nope. My own idea, from a waaay back. It’s nice to know Kimmel thinks like me, though. I’ll watch later.
Cool. The problem now, of course, is that I’ll spend the rest of the thread riffing on this.
“We shall f*** on the beaches, we shall f*** on the landing grounds, we shall f*** in the fields and in the streets, we shall f*** in the hills…”
Dr. Grant: Tim. Tim, can you tell me what they are?
Tim: They’re, Gal… uh… uh, Galli… uh, Gallimimus.
Lex: Are those… meat-eating… uh, meatasauruses?
Dr. Grant: The wheel uniform changes just like a flock of birds evading a predator.
Tim: They’re, uh… they’re coming towards us.
I see dead people, quite a lot.
My name’s Mr. Bond.
I could’ve been a good fighter, I might even have had a chance at the title.
We love you Conrad, oh yes we do;
We love you Conrad, and we’ll be dependable.
One singular sensation, every step she takes;
One thrilling combination every move that she does.
When the moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets and love will steer the sun.
I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty, and witty and gay,
And I pity any girl who isn’t me right now.
L’amour est enfant de bohème; il n’a jamais, jamais, connu de loi.
Si vous ne m’aimes pas, je vous aime, et si je vous aime, prends garde à vous!
Glucose
Aww, Syrup Syrup
You are my sweetener girl
And you have me craving you
I’m the Juggernaut, madam, pleased to make your acquaintance.
Mmmmmmm…Margi’s tits
“My name is Buck, and I’m pleased to make your acquaintance.”
There’s something horribly wonderful about the idea of Joe Piscopo as Hannibal Lecter.
“Alas, poor Yorick - hey look, I can make his jaw move, Horatio! ‘La la la I’m Yorick the skullboy!’”
I want it bareheaded
bald, barren
depilated, exposed
glabrous, hairless
shiny, naked, shaven,
smooth, stark, uncovered
like a skin head.
I am tired of these motherfucking eels on my hovercraft !
Reporters? Outside? Sure, show them in. I may be on my deathbed, but there’s something I want to say. Hi, Sam. Hi, Lou. Good to see you. Frank! How are you? How’s your mom? Good, good. Say, boys, you know, I’m dying, but there’s something I want to get off my chest before I “slip this mortal coil,” as Shakespeare wrote. Got your pencils? Notepads? OK. So. I just want to say, and you can quote me - in fact, I hope you do - as successful as I’ve been, despite my vast business empire, despite being the idol of millions of hard-working folks who just want a fair shot at the American Dream, even after all these years, I still think back to the sled I had when I was a kid. Now, if only I could remember its name…
“I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, pus, mucus, and the unsightly lint in my navel.”
“Ask not for whom the bell tolls… Just keep your damn trap shut.”
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Uh, two.”
“Flexible Flyer”
“I’m Flying Mouse Guy.”
Faster that a spinning Frisbee!
More powerful than a Yugo!
Able to climb up tall buildings pretty quickly without falling very often!
Look! Sort of in that direction over there! No - a little to the left…sort of down toward that gas station…right there! Right where I’m pointing, do you see that? Gaah! Okay, look…
One sympathizes with the buffoon.