Let's play 2 Lies and a Truth!

  1. I attended the American School of Paris in my teens.
  2. I played baseball in College for The University of Tulsa in my 20s.
  3. I was an NCAA Umpire in my 30s.

If you guessed 1 or 2, then You’re Outta Here!
I just hit 41, and I’m still callin’ em as I seez em! I officiate high school as well as youth ball down to age age 10 & under.

My wife lived in Paris as a youth. Her father, a history professor at the University of Tulsa did research over there for a time.

I attended the University of Tulsa, but alas, the baseball program was done away with before I got there.

Nope, but thanks for playing.

  1. I’ve officiated as a minister in over 300 Christian wedding ceremonies, but I’m actually Jewish.
  2. I shot the President of Bulgaria when he came to visit America.
  3. I was on a children’s program in Japan where I and five other grown men played tag while wearing jeans, tank-tops and cowboy hats.


  1. False. I’m actually athiestic Daoist.
  2. True. With a camera, dummy.
  3. False. We were sumo wrestling. In jeans, tank-tops and cowboy hats. God, I’m glad nobody saw that program.[/spoiler]
  1. In my senior year of high school, I won the 100M and 400M races at the state track meet.
  2. I am reasonably fluent in three different languages
  3. I once got so drunk, I woke up wearing somebody else’s pants.
    Of course, the answer is number one! No, wait, it’s number three.
  1. I’ve been clinically dead three times…but I got better!

  2. I’ve been on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire”, though I didn’t actually get to play.

  3. My first sexual experience was with three hot bisexual women who wanted to ravish my pasty white gothic (at the time) self.

  1. True.
  2. False.
  3. False…there were only two of them… :wink:
  1. I have been a carny, traveling around taking people for money.

  2. I have held over 115 different jobs in my life.

  3. I worked as a chef for Jim and Tammy Bakker.

  1. True.
  2. Incorrect. 110 was the last count.
  3. Incorrect. I worked as a sound technician for them, and understudied in the passion play…


Woeg said:

I wanna hear the story!

  1. I’ve taken part in a circus show, on the flying trapeze.

  2. I’ve been scuba diving with great white sharks.

  3. I’ve driven in a drag race, with the lights tree and everything.

1. True! I performed a knee hang, and used a safety belt.
2. False. They were Caribbean Reef sharks.
3. False. But I’d like to race in DOT Class (normal cars).

(1) I’ve had my stomach pumped twice due to alcohol poisoning

(2) I’ve received fellatio to completion in a crowded sports bar, not realizing there were security cameras upstairs

(3) I’ve swum the width of the Mississippi river after losing a drunken bet

(1) Nope, never. I dunno how I’ve dodged that bullet this long hehheh

(2) Yep, by my ex-wife. Fortunately the owners of the bar were friends of mine so we didn’t get kicked out. Rather embarassing though when they pulled me into the office and showed me the tape. Pervs!

(3) Nope, but I tried. Got 1/4 the way across, sobered up to realize that what I was doing was completely insane, and swam back. Had to shave my head as pennance since I didn’t complete the crossing (a pre-determined condition of said bet.) LSU football fans are a nutty bunch. :slight_smile:


  1. My grandfather was a Confederate soldier who knew the Sundance Kid.
  2. My cousin founded Halliburton oil.
  3. Since retiring, each autumn I spend two weeks in a convent and live on soup and bread.

(Someday I will learn how to do the spoiler thingie – honest!

  1. False. My grandfather was a Confederate soldier but he knew Jessie James – not the Sundance Kid.
  2. True. :o
  3. False. But I’ve always wanted to!
  1. I’ve eaten monkey brains before and enjoyed it.
  2. A direct relative of mine won a medal in the 1896 Olympics.
  3. I can lick my elbow.

Only #2 is true. Francis & Sumner Paine from Mass. were indeed relatives of mine. Together they won 2 golds & 1 silver in the pistol shooting events. My grandmother now has the medals.

  1. I’ve watched Chinese New Years fireworks from a junk in Kowloon harbor in Hong Kong
  2. I was asked for a paternity test on an ex-girlfriend’s baby and was exonerated by finding out i’m sterile
  3. I’ve recieved a promotion the “old fashioned way” after hours in a bosses’ office on their couch



1 is correct. I just pulled 2 and 3 out of my ass.

I posted similar questions (with a few extra) in my LJ 2 weeks ago:

  • I’ve been to either Cedar Point or King’s Island every summer since I was a teenager.

  • I graduated magna cum laude from Indiana State University.

  • I could be a switched-at-birth child.

FALSE - never been to KI at all & CP only once.

FALSE - Ball State University B.A. 1993

TRUE - there was an influenza scare at the hospital when I was born - my mom saw me for about 2 minutes right after birth and then not again for three days.

  1. My house had a working still in the basement when I bought it.
  2. I once played the tuba for Paloma Picasso.
  3. I am named after a D&D character.
  1. No, but my neighbor’s did.
  2. Yep.
  3. No, but my son is. I am such a geek.
  1. I’ve worked with Isaac Mizrahi on a project before.
  2. Ernest Borgnine, upon meeting me, told my mom I was the prettiest baby he’d ever seen, by far.
  3. I worked directly with Edward Norton’s mother for over two years.
  1. I successfully hacked into the school’s computer system and changed my grades.

  2. I completed twelve years of school, plus kindergarten, without ever missing a single day.

  3. I survived for an entire week in subzero temperatures when I got lost while skiing.

  1. False (though it was damn tempting to wich I could have done this, not so much for my grades, but to give all my enemies straight F’s and excess absences (he he he)

  2. True, I never once had to miss a day of class because of being sick. I was given a plaque to commemorate this achievement.

  3. False, I’ve never skied in such a place where getting lost at all, much less for a week, would be likely.

I know number 1 is false because I know where you got your username. The location gives it away. :smiley:

  1. I’m the only roommate (of 4) that is NOT engaged.
  2. I have donated blood 7 times.
  3. A relative of mine lived next door to the residence that started the legendary Hatfield and McCoy fued.

1. Nope. Angel of the Lord is the only roomie who is engaged.
2. I have only donated twice. But I get to donate again April 15th. Go O+!
3. True. Do a google search or something on the fued if you want. Think it started over a pig, of all things. Many murders came from it.

If it weren’t for false modesty I would have none at all.

I never eat oysters when I’m lonely.

Sex is like a sports car. The faster you go, the more often you wreck it.

  1. I once had sex during a formal ‘black tie’ event held at the Grosvenor House Hotel in London’s West End.

  2. I once had sex in the grounds of Buckingham Palace.

  3. I once had sex in one of the elevators in the Empire State Building.

1 true, 2 false (so far).