Listening to the radio recently, I’ve heard some lyrics that just struck me kind of funny. So I thought I’d poke fun at them.
Alan Jackson
“It’s only half past twelve, but I don’t care
It’s five o’clock somewhere.”
Um, no, Alan. If it’s half past twelve, then it’s five thirty somewhere. Craig Morgan
“I’m the son of a third-generation farmer
Been married ten years to the farmer’s daughter”
Oh c’mon! I know it’s a Southern stereotype, but do you really need to be bragging about marrying your sister in a song? (Okay, okay, I’m sure the songwriter was referring to the daughter of a different farmer, but still … it just sounded funny the first time I heard it.)
Well if, for example, Alan Jackson is singing in the Pacific time zone at 12:30 p.m., then it is indeed 5:00 p.m. somewhere–that somewhere being Newfoundland.
Well you learn something new every day. I had no idea there were “half” time zones.
I was going to say that the “cop out” for that song is where Jimmy Buffet says “It’s always five o’clock in Margaritaville, come to think of it …” during the outro.
(Sorry for being so late getting back to this thread - 13 hour shift today.)
“And I will block the door like a goalie tending the net
In the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry”
Now, I’m probably missing something but I can’t think of a sport where a goalie tends the net that has quarters… perhaps indoor soccer or lacrosse?? Even if some qualifying sport exists the imagery clearly suggest hockey, which doesn’t have quarters.
I think “Before He Cheats” is funny. She’s vandalizing the guy’s car, but she leaves evidence that it was her (“carved my name into his leather seats”). I keep picture the song being sung to her prison cellmate.
I think “God must be busy” is pretty funny. It’s supposed to be:
“[bad stuff happening]
God must be busy (taking care of all of it)”
but it sounds to me like:
“[bad stuff happening]
God must be busy (playing Xbox or something, to let all this crap happen!)”
which is doubly funny because it’s a country song. It’s like singing that you don’t like beer…
I’ve been trying to figure out just what that song is supposed to be getting at. I’m usually pretty good at picking up on the meanings of songs, but that one kinda has me stumped. At first I was thinking along the same lines as you, i.e. God’s not fixing all this stuff because he’s busy doing something else. But then I noticed that the singer was listing off all these horrible things, and then mentioning that God hasn’t answered his prayers because his woman hasn’t come back to him. It reminds me a bit of Weird Al’s song, One of Those Days, where he says, “A big steam roller just ran over my mom, I cut myself shaving, and they’re droppin’ the bomb”; he’s sticking something utterly insignificant in between two horrifying events as if they’re all equivalent. So that made me think, “Maybe this song is subtly pointing out that no matter how small somebody’s problem might seem to me, it’s a big deal to them.” But I could still be way off.
Well I think the whole point is that God is too busy helping with all that other stuff to help bring the woman back to the singer. Thus “God’s got better things to do than look out for one man.”
He could be in western Europe, and it works- 12:30pm there is 5pm in India.
There aren’t, in general. You only find them in a few places- India, the Northern Territory in Australia, Newfoundland, and maybe a few others. In the case of India, it’s done so that the whole country can be on one time zone (they split the difference between the two they would have had).
e.g. South Australia, Norfolk Island, Lord Howe Island. The Chatham Islands off the east coast of New Zealand’s South Island observe standard time of UT +12:45
Alright, well what if it’s 3:39 somewhere? Then, it won’t be 5:00 ANYWHERE! Point settled.
As for lyrics that are just the worst, I offer you several snippets from System of a Down’s “Lonely Day”:
Let’s talk about bad grammar that should’ve been spoken for . I just have a hard time believing that nobody in the studio would have the balls to say, 'hey, guys? Maybe you can reword that a little bit?"
That’s right, System of a Down wants this day to be banned. In fact, at the time of this song’s release, I heard that they had a written the most concernedest letter to their congressman, suggesting that the day in question be permanently removed from our calendars and never mentioned again. To hell with banning such things as racism and bigotry! We need to focus on that one really lonely day I had a few years back!
One of my favorite songs-- Have You Seen Her by The Chi-Lites-- has this line that drives me crazy
Why, oh why did she have to leave
And go away?
Because she couldn’t possibly leave and stay, that’s why!
And then there’s the Dawson Creek song, Paula Cole’s I Don’t Wanna Wait. So open up your morning light
And say a little prayer for I
May I suggest you never. Ever. Ever. Go to a Margaritaville at 5:00. It’s bad enough it’s all Jimmy Buffet all the time on the speakers, but when 5:00 hits…
