Let’s make it an all Black cast (and yes I know the maid in the first one was a Black lady). Whom would you cast in the roles of Bette Davis, Joan Crawford, and Victor Buono ?
Alas, Whitney Houston would’ve been perfect for Davis’ part (Baby Jane), but oh well.
Vanessa Williams in for Joan Crawford.
How about Lauryn Hill for Davis’ part?
Victor Buono - I dunno, Eddie Murphy?
The maid (updated to be a physical therapist in the modern version) could be played by Susan Sarandan,
I can’t even think about this. You can’t fuck with perfection.
No, no, we need a younger man – someone who, with mere unctuousness and earnestly self-satisfied cleverness, can seem a bit creepy and unsettling.
Now, I’m certainly not saying he has to do the full Steve Urkel…
You’d need older women for the parts. Alfre Woodard might be interested as Blanche and maybe Margaret Avery as Jane.
For the Victor Buono part, do what they did in the original and go with an unknown actor. Otherwise, Chiwetel Ejiofor.
The maid should be a white actress, but not anyone known.
Love Vanessa Williams.
Octavia Spencer for Baby Jane, whose childhood career should be modeled on Dee’s from What’s Happening?. (She’s a bit young for the character, perhaps, but it’s easy to age an actress and she has perfect tragic and comic timing; her performance as the deranged social worker on Ugly Betty should have gotten her an Emmy.)
Kenan Thompson in the Victor Buono role with Irma Hall as his mom (or grandma)
Or:
Tyler Perry as Jane
Tyler Perry as Blanche
Tyler Perry as the unfortunate young Buono character
Tyler Perry as his mom
So . . . Emma Stone as the maid?
J-Lo.
Nicki Minaj as Baby Jane - she is already scary as fuck and who would doubt that she could be a vengeful, evil, insane bitch? Plus, I can already imagine her version of the song, “I’ve Written A Letter To Daddy…” which alone would send chills down your spine…
I think Forest Whitaker could be a good Flagg. He can play just the right combination of cunning dimness at the beginning, when he thinks he’s going to make some money off the old bat, and then the light dawns as she realizes just how crazy and malicious she is.
ETA: Of course Jamie Foxx can play the piano. But I like Whitaker better in the role.
Good Suggestions everybody: I’ll give mine: C.C.H. Pounder in the Bette Davis role; Whoopi Goldberg in the Joan Crawford role; Mykelti Williamson in the Victor Buono role.
Roseanne in black face as Jane. No acting necessary, she could just be herself.