Coldy, it’s gone much further than that- already, in seedy backalleys, people are using lone homosexuals as bait for homophobes!
To see the tear in his eye and hear the wavering voice as the plucky lone homosexual sings “no business like show business” until the phobes begin to circle, then the terror as he is pulled to safety while the hunters move in and beat the homophobes to death with clubs, ah, it’s too much. It needs to be stopped now.
Well, other than the clubbing bit.
b.
It’s like Trainspotting for sober people?
Not to mention the homo mills, where herds of the poor creatures are raised in miserable conditions before being shipped to the shops for resale. This form of breeding results in genetic problems like splayed hocks, faulty withers and a taste for country decor.
Thank God we have people like Ted Turner spending millions to help restore the free-ranging queer herds on his millions of acres in Montana.
I have so many questions. So like, are you allowed to feed the queers at the zoo? And what do they eat?
Are there any rare specimen?
So much have we to learn…
[sub]I HEART you guys![/sub]
What’s worse is when some well-meaning dad buys his son a nice, new homosexual, and the kid just flushes it down the toilet when he gets bored with it.
“Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
Thankfully, through the efforts of dedicated volunteers and the unblinking eye of the media, poaching on designated homosexual free-range areas has been reduced to an all-time low.
In other news, homosexual conservationist forces are said to be massing on the borders of Topeka, with nasty gleams in their eyes.
(sigh…in a perfect world…)
These guys seem like an endangered species…perhaps a telethon is in order?
channeling Homer Simpson When the sign says “Do Not Feed the Queers,” maan, you better not feed the queers!
What’s even more appalling is when a family gets itself a homosexual for the summer and then when they head back to their mundane everyday life, they realize that Biffy simply won’t fit in the apartment! So they dump their homosexual and they roam around small towns in wild, feral packs!
This is how Fire Island and P-town got started, as you all know.
Gee, I was working on the title of the thread. How many wrong and insulting assumptions can you fit into four words?
How about:
Still tricking for OxyContin?
I hear tell, though, of homosexuals that have instinctive homing abilities. There are even documented cases where loyal homosexuals have traveled clear across the country with nothing but their instincts to guide them. There’s also a few Disney movies based on these true stories.
It was from the movie “Boiler Room”, the scene in the restaurant.
Ahh, but you’re forgetting the blackmarket value of organically produced, quality Home Counties Grade-A Queer rump. Providing you know the right people, potters have a trade-in value of, oh, whole dollars. Unmarked bills, for preference.
There’s even an interactive video training simulation to help improve your odds: Boong-Ga Boong-Ga.
The other day I was watching the Discovery Channel, and they had a lovely special on the free-range homosexuals. The commentary was heartwarming:
“Look at this pack of young homosexuals, their tails waving in the wind… wait, those aren’t… um, isn’t the scenerly lovely?”
Here in California, we have instituted a Catch-and-Release program. A homosexual in an isolated area is transported here, acclimated to his/her own kind and then released back into the native habitat, confident to identify others of its kind.
Inspired by the ambition,courageousness and indeed “Will To Live” of homosexuals around this country, I’ve decided to begin a “Adopt A Homosexual” program.
For just thirty dollars a month YOU can have your very own homosexual (they come in male AND female!), and know that your money goes to purchase entry into cabaret shows and winetastings, as well as memberships in local softball leagues and tickets to Ani DiFranco contests.
Watch your homosexual grow with photographs and flowery, superlative laden letters with little hearts dotting the i’s.
You TOO can help the homosexuals in Chicago and beyond.
please make your checks out to CASH and send them directly to me, and I promise to take some homosexuals to My Big Fat Greek Wedding next weekend.
J
[Marlin Perkins] I’ll stay on the metro while Jim goes and wrestles the homosexual to the ground. Jim has to be careful not to get too close the magnificient beast’s, er… oh, my… Well, just as the wild homosexual cares for its mate, Mutual of Omaha cares for you. [/Marlin Perkins]
Then, in the sewers, they mutate into giant albino drag queens:)
Did you guys see that horrible spoof website…Bonsai Homosexuals? Just the pictures of those poor, sweet creatures twisted into odd pretzel positions with each other made a tear come to my eye…and the creator was even cruel enough to force these big goofy grins on their faces as they were forced to grow intertwined with one another…