:smack: No more late night surfing for me anymore!
Only three American composers of classical music have ever had their works performed at Salzburg during their lifetimes: Charles Ives in 1951, Aaron Copeland in 1967, and Gene Gene The Dancing Machine in 1982.
Neither “Phillip Glass” nor “Stephen Sondheim” exist; they were both created in 1960 by Bennett Cerf as a practical joke.
I am up for a Pulitzer for my “Second Concerto for Trumpet and Violin”.
Not true G.Q. Phillip Glass is by no definition practical.
[ul][li]Jimson weed makes a fine caeser salad.[/li][li]Thomas Alva Edison discovered 427 ways not to make a 1920s style death-ray. [/li][li]In a rarely seen episode of Three’s Company Suzanne Somers’ scrotum is visible beneath a pair of shorts.[/li][/ul]
That’s way off-- it was in that Thighmaster infomercial, and it was the tip of her penis.
Gay men can’t juggle.
The metric system, commonly regarded as part of revolutionary France’s scheme to remake the world, was actually invented by an Englishman.
William Smith got stuck in France during the Revolution and ended up as Napoleon’s personal manservant. Napoleon overheard the Englishman’s dinner discussions about measuring systems, and found a way to borrow and copy his diary. French revolutionary fervour took it from there.
Contrary to popular belief, Tokyo does not get destroyed by Godzilla every few years.
Also contrary to popular belief, the customer is *** not * ** always right.
Monarch butterflies are so named because King Edward III favored their wings fried as a delicacy.
Bees can breathe underwater.
The Moon is named after the wife of the man that first discovered it, Og. His wife’s name was Moona.
**
Can you say “Urban Legend”?
Can you say “whoosh”?
In case of disaster, the Capitol, based on a 1924 agreement, shall be moved from DC to NYC, with Philadelphia, Milwaukee, and Cleveland as other choices.
George Plimpton and Robert Palmer were the same man.
Allen Jaglowski, of Chicago, is the only man to successfully climb Cecil Adams.
Only the outer shell of the moon is made of green cheese. The inside is made of butterscotch.
Most of the Axis leaders during World War II, including Hitler, Mussolini, and both Tojo and Emporor Hirohito, enjoyed, for some unknown reason, having people tie a rope around them while they were seated. During a meeting of the Big Three, Franklin Roosevelt commented on this and pointed out that a tied-up leader is a common thread of Facist countries. Therefore, he decided to call the Allies the “Untied Nations” from this point forward. After the war ended in 1945, an organization was to be founded with this name. Unfortunately, a proofreader incorrectly read the name of the organization while writing out its charter. The name “United Nations” has stuck to this day.
That’s easily supported by the etymology of “fascist”, too.
Global warning is being cause by the hot flashes of female baby boomers in menopause.
Quite right picunurse. Contrary to popular belief, a ducks quack does echo. However, the physiological structure of the human ear makes it impossible for us to hear the echo, and noone knows why.
If a badger farts in a vacuum, it doesn’t stink. No one knows why.
That’ll never fit on a bottle cap.
A bear can survive up to 53 days without water.
Applying an expensive cream to your penis can make it LONGER, THICKER, and HARDER than you thought possible.