Insert laugh react here 
I don’t know whether to commiserate or celebrate. Some of both, maybe?
“Here’s the divorce papers. Sign them like for a car.”
“…you mean like I would sign for buying a car, or for a drivers’ lice…”
“Like for a car! Normal reverse order! Like a car”
One word conversations. That’s all I’m saying on the subject.
This made my fucking morning 
I saw another of your threads about your wife besides this one. It’s not really any of my business, but imho you could benefit from talking to a professional about this kind of scene that played out repeatedly in your marriage. Not because you were doing anything wrong per se, but because this person appears to have dominated the relationship with passive-aggressiveness and crazy-making behavior for a long time, and that has an effect on people. I am extremely wary about judging a person’s character on the basis of their ex’s testimony, and it is irresponsible to speculate. But you did note somewhere that she makes things up. In this case, with all the kids involved, she is going to be a part of your life for a long time, and those behaviors should be documented and discussed, and discouraged, pronto. And in general, I think it would be good for you to have a fuller understanding of what your wife does and why she might do it, and the cumulative effect it has had on you.
That is all.