Let's Talk Fruitcakes

The notion of fruitcakes being a joke Christmas gift that no one really wants seems to be decidedly American. My British and Australian friends have looked at me like I’m from Mars when describing the negative reaction of many of my countrymen to fruitcakes. Brits and Aussies really like them.

And I may see why better now. The other night while shopping at Villa Market, one of the Western-oriented supermarkets here in Bangkok, I picked up a whiskey-soaked marmalade fruitcake from Australia. Big Sister brand. It is very, very good. I may end up getting another one.

Brits and Aussies eat vegemite and marmite too. That should tell you something about their tastes.

No, no, this whiskey-soaked fruitcake is really good. The marmalade flavor dominates.

I’m an American, and I’ve always liked fruitcakes. If anyone doesn’t want theirs, I’ll have it.

I’m not sure how far back the fruitcake jokes go. They were common when I was growing up in the 60s. The joke was based on receiving a home-made fruit cake in the mail at Christmas time from your spinster aunt that was denser than lead, dry as a bone, and as tasty as fiberboard. Added to that is the phrase ‘nuttier than a fruitcake’, often referring to that same aunt.

I’m not sure how many Americans have ever tasted a fruitcake here in the 21st century. I’ve only tasted a few in my lifetime, and they weren’t good. Had I sampled something that tasted good, it probably wouldn’t have associated in my mind with the word fruitcake.

That’s my experience, and take on the question. Maybe **El_Kabong **could describe the fruitcakes that he likes.

Well, admittedly most of the good ones I’ve had were commercially, rather than home-made.

In my case there’s probably a nostalgia thing going on, as when I was a kid anything alcoholic was strictly off limits, except, apparently, fruitcake.

I have a “sacramental”, “survivalist” crucifix. It is probably around 60-80 years old, and contains within its hollow- fruitcake bread, blessed oil, and holy water. Nothing has decomposed, yet.

Mmm, fruitcake! I don’t think I’ve ever had one I didn’t like.

Alton Brown’s Free-Range Fruitcake is the pinnacle of the form. I’d post a link but I’m on my phone, so you’ll have to Google it. Sadly, the best time to make it this year has passed–if you make it the weekend of Thanksgiving it’ll be nicely cured by Christmas–but you can still make one now and it’ll still probably be the best you’ve ever had by Christmas.

When I was in college I got a fruitcake at Christmas and I took it back to the house - even college kids wouldn’t eat it - not even on Friday nights when they were high.

But I keep an open mind, some day I might taste one that is good.

I like fruitcake, so long as it doesn’t contain any of that nasty candied citrus peel known as ‘citron’. Those translucent green bitter bombs ruin the whole thing.

Obligatory link to fruitcakes made by monks.

Those things are worth every penny. I’ve had just about every variety, and they are rich and gooey and delicious, well worth the price!

My grandmother would send us a fruitcake every Christmas - I don’t know which company produced them, but they were great!
I never understood why they became a joke, as the fruitcakes she had sent to us were moist, full of cherries and other fruits, most certainly some alcohol, and as a kid, we loved them!
Granted, my parents would just roll their eyes and say, “Here’s the cake again…” when the postman delivered it, but we kids were all excited.

We order through our church from the Holy Cross Abbey in Berryville, VA. VERY good fruitcake, great flavor and the glaze is terrific. I’m also happy eating the ones in the grocery store that look like a candied brick.

Claxton has ruined fruit cake’s reputation in the US

Years ago Consumer Reports tasted U. S. fruitcakes and decided on three that passed muster.
For liquor soaked wonder they gave a pass to the fruitcakes made by the religions society mentioned above by Athena.
For people who want lots of nuttiness they passed a fruitcake company in Corsicana, TX.
For people who wanted more of a sweet-sweet desert cake they passed the Harry and David cake (the same people who run Fruit of the Month).

But through the years I’ve run across dry bombshells that would serve better as a door stop.

I think those were the ones my father used to send us every year when he was alive. If so, those were very good.

Now here’s something: A Glenfiddich Highland Single-Malt Whisky fruitcake. That may be the prettiest thing I’ve seen all year, and I attend the live nude lesbian sex shows. The lone review gives it top marks and says it’s even better than Big Sister brand, which is what I picked up.

Another one is here. 15.99 pounds, which would be about US$25.

Is it “fruitcake” or “fruit cake”?

We splurged on two - the dried fruit cake (sans nuts) and the Jamaican black cake (ditto). My son is allergic, and I simply dislike 'em. We ate the dried fruit cake and yummmmmmmm. The Jamaican black cake is waiting.

I make fruitcake at Christmastime when I can get my act together. This year I did. Only, I miscalculated the amount of fruit… and wound up with enough for a quadruple recipe. 14 fruitcakes (2 large, 12 small). All curing on the dining room table, dosed once or twice a week with a bit of whatever liquor we have. We used up the bourbon in the making and had to add applejack; have been basting with applejack and ran out of THAT, now we’re using brandy. The garbagemen must think we’re very heavy drinkers!

My poor stand mixer was whimpering in fear by the end of THAT evening :).

This stuff is MOIST (almost too much so - it’s hard to slice, sort of crumbles) but the flavor is wonderful.

I haven’t tried Alton’s recipe yet but the one I used (from about.com) explicitly does NOT use nuts. I may try Alton’s at some point and just add extra fruit.

My father used to get fruitcakes as gifts and I’d grab a slab, and pick out all the nuts. I have to confess, though, I like the candied fruit. But this year I minimized that and did just assorted dried fruits with just a couple of packages of glace cherries and candied lemon/orange peel. Oh, and candied Buddha’s Hand rind which I’d made myself.

I think it’s usually spelled as one word.

Question: For folks who like a fine whisky, wouldn’t putting it in a fruitcake be sort of a waste? The truly complex flavors of the whisky would be lost in a fruitcake, whereas a mid-range liquor would do a fine job of adding the alcoholic notes and melding the flavors. And of course if one liked whisky, but not fruitcake, this would surely be seen as an abomination!

My mom made a kick-ass fruitcake and I wish I knew where I put her recipe. She didn’t soak it in liquor but it was so moist and delicious it didn’t really need anything else. I can remember helping to crack the nuts and cut up the dried fruit and it smelled WONDERFUL.