Let's tell a story four words at a time (Part 1)

allow squirrels to slide

at speeds up to

, but not faster than,

Mach 7. This resulted

in squirrels bursting into

flame as they crashed

into the closest green

bean farm. What they

saw may shock you -

are you sitting down? -

If not, then sit

and prepare yourself for

a tale of mystery,

where squirrels, unbeknownst to

other rodents, loudly proclaim

their immunity to sarcasm!

Just telling them how

they roll.

Suddenly, a

friend of the former

associate dean of Radcliffe