Pete Pastrami. The pair
, famous for their enormous
glycemic indexes, are suspected
in the largest sugar
heist in the history
of Greater Metropolitan Blawnox.
It was a dark
figure in a ninja
costume purchased at Target.
So claimed an eyewitness
who turned state’s evidence
just before mysteriously vanishing.
The Blawnox sugar mines
, closed for the summer,
were a compelling temptation
for thieves. However, several
deterrents were in place:
“Please Don’t Steal” signs,
were, of course, stolen
“God hates thieves” signs