the famous 7-Eleven where
Elvis once reportedly downed
in a puddle of
primrose oil.
All the
elves who witnessed this
scurried back to the
hollow tree and started
a fresh batch of
reindeer burgers. Their aroma
triggered air quality alerts
and pissed off the
American Mooseburger Alliance, who
claimed their recipe was
patented and cheap imitations
were likely contaminated with
stoat or koala meat.
Though in Blawnox stoatburgers
were another name for
small unattractive children so
they got that going