despite his Jewish heritage
trounced his Gentile rivals
who believed in Santa.
Meanwhile, a sinister scientist
in a dirigible high
above the verdant valley,
released balloons full of
strawberry jellybeans, which quickly
dissolve into toxic gases!
Children, seeing the balloons,
sucked in the “helium”
,nitrous oxide mix, producing
Chipmunk-like laughter and flatulence
. The ensuing odor attracted
vultures by the hundreds
, who carried the children
to the Keebler tree
Whereupon the gods of
rock’n’roll declared, "WE ARE
THE NEPHILIM!" and proceeded