Let's tell a story four words at a time (Part 1)

a possum walking upright.

The sight caused her

to clutch her pearls

and wet her pants.

This type of phobia

was not unique to

the Register women, for

even Arnold Schwarzenegger once

ran screaming from Bakersfield

after seeing an upright

something or other. Needless

to mention, poor Arnold

was never the same

afterwards. Residents of Bakersfield

have all but forgotten

the incident, but when

the upright stoats arrived

, armed and laser focused

(as you would expect),

their complete takeover of