Oy ya yoy. This story. Drew is probably so sick of me telling/forcing him to tell this story. He told this to a big group of us the first time I met him and I knew instantly that I had to be his friend.
The squeamish sould avert their eyes now.
Anyhow. Drew is a biochemist and works for a pharmaceutical company. One day they had some very intense scientific equipment under repair. I can never remember what it was - magnetic resonance or some damn thing. Anyway it reacts badly with metal in some way, so there was a sign on the door saying that people with pacemakers, artificial limbs, etc., should not enter the room, as the machine was being operated with its protective shielding removed.
Drew needs to get something in the supply closet on the other side of that room, so he goes in and walks through the room. Partway through he pauses, hearing a strange humming noise. Oh, that’s odd, he thinks. Then the noise gets louder.
And he starts to feel a … tingle. Down there. And it’s getting more and more intense. And pleasurable. EXTREMELY pleasurable. But in fairly short order, it starts to get painful. More and more painful - too-much-of-a-good-thing painful.
And he doesn’t remember what happens after that. Suddenly he’s on the floor, with people around him, asking him, Oh, my god, do you have a pacemaker, what is it, etc. But he feels okay. He starts to get up, and then feels something sticky in his trousers.
Drew, you see, has everything -
They didn’t think to list piercings along with pacemakers and artificial limbs, but apparently the unshielded equipment reacted with the metal in his piercings much as they would have with either of those things. And apparently, his piercings… had resonated.
Drew rapidly excuses himself to the bathroom and is desperately trying to wash his underwear in the sink, when a co-worker walks in. “It’s not what you think!” Drew blurts. And within an hour the story is being recounted throughout the entire company.
And that is the story of how Drew involuntarily masturbated with a two-million-dollar sex toy.