But the barns are full enough as it is!"
“Well, that settles it,” said the rancher, “We’re going to have to sell the farm.”
And with that, the wind caressed the tops of the corn, and the desolate rustle filled the silence between them.
The scarecrow’s tattered rags twisted in the breeze. It silently monitored the landscape with a knowing but malevolent gaze.
As the corn in my immediate view went from flowing vertical to flattened horizontal, a trick of the light made the scarecrow seem to wink in my direction.
But it was the light that was bending–the light from the UFO.
As the UFO shimmered into vision, I saw the scarecrow raise a tattered hand in greeting, waving in a circular motion…widdershins.
The thought came back- Widdershins. Glad that I had the latest issue in my back pocket; I qiuckly communed with nature and thumbed the UFO for a ride.
On the way there, we stopped by a far-off and distant planet for a snack.
The problem, of course, was that once we got there, none of the local vendors would accept our Earth currency.
They would, however, accept male deer as currency. Good thing we strapped a few to the roof of the UFO. So, we had enough bucks to pay them.
Fortunately I had retrieve my sombrero, which one of the locals accepted in exchange for some faffelnoogen
meanwhile, some kid slurping on a chocolate milk shake lifted his head and saw the reindeers in the sky.
But it was what we received in change that disturbed us.
Unfortunately, he looked up just at the moment that Blitzen decided to unload a large, fluffy reindeer doot, which arced gracelessly through the sky, narrowly missed his forehead, and landed with a resounding SPLOOTCH! right in his milkshake.
The sound was an unpleasant reminder. “Crap!” he said, as he threw down the milkshake and went off to the bathroom.
In a strange cosmic duality, the received change was nothing other than the aerated, chocolate milkshake-colored reindeer poop.
Of course, Santa Claus was well familiar with this sort of “change”, as he usually has to pick it out of his beard every December 25th.
And each year on the 26th of December, Santa made solemn vow to not feed the reindeer his famous “Cheesy Bran Muffin Corn Niblet Delight” reindeer feed…this vow was always forgotten by April 3rd, the second most famous day in April.
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