Letter to my daughter's high school principal about her choir program

I feel sorry for teachers who are expected to go above and beyond, with resources limited by constrained budgets, who are not (presumingly) given the respect of a simple face-to-face meeting before being blown out of the water.

The OP has no idea who has else has been breathing down her neck (could be the principal) or what kind of pressures she has been facing to do more with less. Maybe the choreographer is flaky because the choreographer is volunteering her time, whereas in the past she was paid or it was another person doing it. Maybe different levels are being consolidated because there is only so much in the budget to rent X number of choir books (or whatever they call sheet music for choirs). Maybe the school can’t afford the prices of more advanced compositions (ensemble music is often rented, for those who don’t know). Maybe so many kids have signed up for chorus that she has no choice but to merge groups. Maybe this is the new policy at central office, and the teacher is simply carrying out instructions that everyone else in the district is following.

I was in high school orchestra at a performing arts school. Believe me, I know about dramedy. I saw classmates literally fall out on the floor in writhing hysterics during chair auditions because the pressure (all of it internalized) was too much for them. I almost busted some girl in the head over some orchestra solo-stealing nonsense. And guess what? Despite all the drama, NONE of the people in my orchestra, AFAIK, went on to become a professional musicians. (Though the concert master did become this guy.) I think maybe one of them became a music teacher, but that’s about it.

We had an elite group too, for awhile. It folded because 1) elite groups require a lot of work for EVERYONE involved. And guess what? Kids who are good at one thing tend to also dabble in other things. Like sports or academic team. So good luck getting everyone to meet (or even perform) when they’re supposed to. Also, look at how well the football coach is compensated for his time versus the music teacher before drawing comparisons. 2) Elite groups often engender hard feelings. The politics can be unnerving for everyone involved. And though the sports analogy should make apply, for some reason it doesn’t. Maybe it’s because private lessons play a huge role in who is good and who isn’t, and the kids who take private lessons often happen to be more well-to-do. So what happens is that the kids who are trumped out for all the glossy pictures, the field trips, the competitions, the special pizza parties, and the “We are Family” t-shirts are the same kids who need these things the least, while the kids who can’t afford private lessons are resigned to sitting in the shadows, only earning class credit and never doing anything “fun”. This doesn’t happen in sports, but it sure does happen in music.

I don’t know how a school deals with it, other than to try to do what it sounds like the teacher is trying to do.

My opinion is this: You want to be elite? You take private lessons and wow the socks off the audition judges at Oberlin or Julliard. It’s not like a college scout is going to come to your holiday concert and think, “Wow, she’s really got pipes” while you’re singing along with everyone else. After my sophomore year, my high school did away with the special chamber orchestra, and it was a win-win for everyone. The kids who weren’t in the group didn’t have to feel left out of the festivities. The teacher didn’t have to work his ass off trying to impress people who couldn’t distinguish Handel from Dvorak to save their lives. And the elite kids didn’t have to feel pressure to practice at the expense of academic coursework or assignments from their own private lessons. They still got to be section leaders though, which I’m guessing choirs don’t have. But I imagine that a “combined” group would still have opportunities for soloists.

You could of just wrote:

"Doood what’s up with the choir program ? Cuts going on ? Staff shortage ? It’s not what it use to be; practice is sporadic, unorganized and my little monkey is now singing with third string riff-raff

Yours truly,
Ese"

The part that bothers me is where you mention that your daughter specifically asked you to hold off on sending the letter until she could speak to the teacher in person, and you decided to send it anyway because she didn’t have that conversation soon enough.

Nice going dad.

Paint with a broad brush, do you? Around here, public schools have qualified teachers with credentials, and private schools have underpaid teachers with no set qualifications. I wouldn’t dream of sending my kids to private school.

First question is, why isn’t daughter handling this? It would be fine to help her write something like this, but coming from you, it’s pain in the ass parent city.

I’ve been an elementary and middle school teacher. There I didn’t have too much difficulty with parents. But when I was an administrator at a selective college in a southern city where they really like a certain dark-colored soft drink, I dealt with overinvolved parents all the time. I don’t begrudge parents intervening when they felt their kids were getting a raw deal. But long drawn out letters like this make me think that you’re a self-involved fruit loop.

You’re not respecting the fact that the principal is busy. So what’s your complaint? Make it brief. How can he/she help to resolve this issue? I think this shouldn’t have been more than 250 words long. You essentially ensured that whatever legitimate points you have will be filtered out, because nobody’s going to read it. In fact, it’s going to be circulated to other principals, with the addendum: “You think you deal with whack jobs? Get a load of this guy I’m dealing with.”

No, the kids who really deserve sympathy are those who don’t get to travel during the summer to learn about the world, or those who don’t get to go to camps, or those whose parents don’t let them spend time outside, or those who don’t get to try all kinds of gourmet foods, or those who don’t regularly get to attend high culture events like the opera.

Look, private school is a luxury. I’ve got nothing against it, any more than I have anything against travel to Europe or sleepover camps or whatever. There are all kinds of things parents can do to enrich their kids’ lives, many of which require financial sacrifice.

But unless you’re advocating massive increases, like manifold increases, to public school budgets, public schools aren’t going to be able to provide every possible opportunity.

And that’s fine. That’s not the mission of public schools. The mission is to provide an education, and while we’re at it, to provide a broad array of opportunities to as many kids as we can.

Grestarian, I think you summed it up well. You used reasonable language and didn’t bring in unrelated arguments. The facts stand out clearly and the summary is excellent.

kaylasdad, you’ll say it’s none of my business, but since you brought it up: What was the scandal that forced out the previous choir director?

Don’t snort the yellow electrons.

Just a quick google so take that with a grain of salt

http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-choir-teacher-arrested,0,417784.story

The OP did not receive the glowing admiration he was hoping for, I believe and has now abandoned his thread, so I doubt you’ll get an answer to this question. If you read the OP he was careful to not reveal too much concerning this part. I doubt that was by accident.

Funny that someone so ‘in your face’ with complaints and so confident of their position, such as the letter would indicate, can’t then actually defend any of it against the questions and criticisms of a silly message board. Maybe it’s a case of being wordy and forward, by mail, but with not actually much, to back it up, if challenged. There are certainly no shortage of such people.

My guess is, as the letter had already been sent, he just wanted fawning admiration for his silver tongue.

Why, thank you!
I actually thought Ibanez crystalized it even better – though I cringe at the *Dooood *term.

–G!

If you’re…
Havin’ trouble with your high school head
He’s givin’ you the blues…
. --Young/Young/Scott (AC/DC)
. Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap
. Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap

He started a thread about it a few months back: Statutory rape question (LEO input requested) - Factual Questions - Straight Dope Message Board Short version: teacher got caught having sex with an underage student.

I think Redacted High School is the coolest name ever.

Also, any complaint to a public official should contain at least one of the following sentences:
What is this, Communist China?!
This is AMERICA, Goddammit!
I pay your salary.
I’ll use really simple words so you can understand.
Fuck you!
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
You be hearing from my lawyer about this.
It’s a miracle a disgruntled customer hasn’t sprayed your office with gunfire … yet.

After reading this letter, I have the perfect suggestion for improving it. You need to hire John Lithgow to do a dramatic reading of it, directly to the principal.

Haha, well, props on the “second coming” reference then.

[slight hijack] A guy I used to work with at the city newspaper who sorted through the letters to the editor liked to note how many of them included some kind of explicit reference to the letter-writer’s taxes paying the journalist’s salary.

Apparently, some people have a strange misconception of the “I pay your salary” line.

[/slight hijack]

Well you people just don’t get it.

How are these kids going to maintain their elite status as members of a high school chamber choir if they are forced to go to the movies with regular high school choir members?

After being successful for many years under the tutelage of a convicted child molester, this elite chamber choir is now being made a mockery of by some inclusive communist hippy who doesn’t seem to understand our tradition of excluding some students while rewarding others who attend after school study sessions every Friday.

And yet people think Glee is unrealistic!

Okay, now I’m seeing this with a clear eye. Before, it was just a wall of words, but now that I have a sense of what happened beforehand…

This is a legitimate complaint. But how is it that these scheduled rehearsals don’t happen? The teacher cancels them one by one? With how much advance notice? Or has s/he been a no-show multiple times? Or is it that not enough choir members show up for a full rehearsal?

This ties in with the above complaint, that even if the choir had been rehearsing every two weeks, that still wouldn’t be enough. However, if I’ve got it right (and please correct me if I’ve got it wrong), the current choir teacher didn’t even know she was going to have this job until July of this year or even later. How was she chosen? Even if she was second in command to the former teacher, it could be a huge adjustment to make on very short notice; worse if she’s a total newcomer. Perhaps it’s a compromise: combine the choirs so she only has to manage one, rather than try to manage two or more and drop all the plates.

And I’m sorry that there’s not going to be an elite choir next semester. It’s bad timing for your daughter, I know. But suppose the former teacher had died last July, unexpectedly, in a car accident or something, and they brought in this same teacher on the same short notice, and the results were as they are now. Would you still be writing this letter?

And there might not be, so what’s the problem? What’s the problem even if there are? Ever think the new teacher might see this as a chance for the different choirs to get to know each other better before they start working together? You keep making it sound like the lesser, non-Chamber choirs are being imposed on the CC. Is it possible for it to be a merger, with benefits for both parties?

Really? It’s not the songs they get to sing, or the camaraderie that they’re free to enjoy any time, or the sense of accomplishment after a good performance. It’s the exclusive group activities. You? Are a snob. Or your daughter is, or both of you are. Ehmagawd, what makes those lowly non-Chamber choristers think they should be allowed to associate with the Chamber Choir outside of school? Did you intend to make it sound like their presence would ruin the event?

Also, your being a Democrat is irrelevant, not to mention a touchy subject this close to the election. And not everyone understands the designated hitter rule. You shouldn’t have cluttered up this letter with analogies.

So you say, but everything else in here sounds like you’ll only be satisfied if you get everything your way. Well, maybe that can’t happen. As noted above, a lot of things are different this semester. Circumstances are preventing your daughter from getting the experience she anticipated. And there may be nothing anyone can do about it.

You know, you really should have. You shouldn’t have sent it at all. Your daughter is the one who is, and wanted to be, in Chamber Choir. It should be up to her to pursue this. And if she’s not brave enough to do so, then perhaps CC doesn’t mean that much to her. Or perhaps the problem doesn’t seem as egregious to her as it does to you. Why do you have so much invested in this? Did you have to pay for her to be in CC?

Or perhaps you need to accept that those performance standards just aren’t going to be met this year.

I didn’t read this thoroughly the first time. When I saw “scandal-ridden” on my first readthrough, I thought it might mean something defensible, like “Outed with malicious intent and hounded into resignation.” It seems, again if I’ve got it right, that the former teacher is the one you should be angry at. Even if you think her worst offense was being indiscreet, she could have kept her job by practicing discretion. Don’t you think she shares any blame for the current situation?

:eek: Yeah, bring lunchroom and PTA gossip out into the open. You’re raising your daughter to think like that?

I bet you wouldn’t if you knew what they really were.