athene1765 - Sounds like Darklands (and why has no one ever done a sequel to that one?)
Sadly, because not many people liked it much at the time. I wish it hadn’t been so buggy…it’s one of my all-time faves.
Of all the nerve! This guy with a sword and spiky hair breaks into my house and steals all my most valuable possessions. Even the ones I had hidden. Then he has the nerve to come up to me and start talking to me! The weird thing was I wanted to tell him off but all I could do was tell him about a few of the most important things that happened to me the past couple of days. Then he left without even thanking me! I’m going to complain to the police about this!
ooh…look! CHICKEN!
whack whack whack whackwhackwhackwhackwhack
OMG! lots of chickens! AAAUUUGGGGHHHHH!
Heh, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
[sub][whispering]
It’s dark in this thread. I think a grue might eat me.
[/whispering]
[/sub]
That’s Zork, isn’t it?
Not a computer game but:
I never believed in telepathy… until now. What made me change my mind? Well, it all started when I met HIM. I dont know what his name was so I call him “The Silent One”. He had the strangest looking spikey hair I’ve ever seen. No real human could have hair that looked like that! Maybe he was a mutant? Anyway “The Silent One” comes up to me and stares intently at me. He doesn’t say a word, but I immediately know what he wants. He wants me to tell him about all the important things that have happened in town the past couple of days. Almost against my will I tell him. I even included details from my personal live. I tell you, it was downright spooky! I never used to believe in telepathy…
Furryman:
Sounds like any number of Square RPG’s.
Nerevarine this, Nerevarine that. Yeah, I know the legends. Some old dark elf general guy gets reincarnated, does some menial tasks for people living in little tents in the middle of nowhere, catches a nasty disease, then stabs a heart that is being used to power up a remake of one of the old gods, a robot version no less, and we’re supposed to worship him or her forever. No big deal to me. It’s confusing, and weird, but whatever, I’m not doing it. But that old general guy was a nice fellow, or so it seems, yet the Nerevarine feels fit to slaughter entire towns? Seyda Neen is a ghost town now, literally! At least the armed guards all go after the Nerevarine. Not like that makes me feel any more safe - that guy is more powerful than Vivec himself! I have no chance of defending myself, and even if I lock myself in my house, he can still get in…and despite all that, when I see him in public, and he comes up to talk to me, all I can do is stutter about him being the Nerevarine, instead of chewing him out for being so mean! I think he has been touched by Sheogorath, him and everybody who worships him…
Another hard day’s work finished. My father used to say: “Go into trading, it’ll be easy money.” Little did he know about the price of fur plummeting just when I arrived at the planet after a long journey. Now I have to stock up again…wait…is that a space station I see in the distance? Hark - I hear welcoming music - almost like a waltz. Now if only I had a docking computer…it would make life so much easier, but who can afford such a luxury?
Turning…
Turning…
Turning…
AAAAAAAAAARGH…where is the station…geometric shapes explode in front of my eyes…
<the end>
Max Carnage: That’s PacMan, of course. Excellent!
**Einmon: ** Elite , of noble fame. Ah, how I wish I had those 5,729 hours of my life back. But you don’t need to rotate to sync with the space-station. Just time your run to coincide with the docking bay approaching horizontal, and you zip right in 
Luke angled his X-wing fighter down and into the canyon, skimming the Death Star’s vast surface. Where were Wedge and Biggs? They were right on his tail the last time he looked. Darn it, he’d need them to handle any TIE fighers that might chase after him. Meanwhile, though, he had his hands full with the anti-spacecraft gun emplacements pummeling their ships with turbolaser fi–
No … wait …
The guns weren’t firing turbolaser blasts at all. They were shooting … fireballs! Big, slow moving fireballs that made an easy target for his X-wing’s blasters. What had happened to the Death Star’s real defenses? These fireball guns had to be some sort of twisted joke. Why in heaven’s name would the Empire outfit such an important battle station as the Death Star with such pitiful defenses? The fireballs all easily evaporated under the repeated pounding of his blasters.
But wait … what was that coming up ahead in the canyon. YIKES! A catwalk! He dodged his fighter downward as quickly as he could, narrowly missing the artificial walkway. Then another catwalk appeared right in front of him, and he had to dodge that, too! And another! And another! These catwalks seemed relentless. The Death Star plans had shown nothing like this twisted maze of deadly obstacles now popping up in front of him. Whicever brilliant tactician had decided that their attack would be safest if they flew inside the “protection” of the canyon’s walls was woefully misinformed. Luke pushed his throttle forward and climbed out of …
… He pushed his throttle forward and climbed out of …
… What in blazes?! His throttle wasn’t working at all! And worse, he couldn’t climb any higher than the top of the canyon, which still left him in peril of crashing into the catwalks!
Fortunately, for some mysterious reason, he was able to see through each catwalk so that he could see the pattern of other catwalks that lay beyond it…
TOP SECRET- EYES ONLY
From: Chief of Operations.
To: Agent XX6.
Subject: Mission briefing.
XX6, you were chosen for this assignment because you currently have the highest scores of any agent in offensive/evasive driving. Your task will essentially be to serve as a moving target, to draw out the resources of our opponent. Your description has been leaked to the enemy and it is expected that as you drive through the countryside continual attempts will be made to shoot, bomb, or run your vehicle off the road. To counter this, your car has been equipped with the following special modifications:
-fixed twin .50 cal. machine guns
-oil slick dispenser
-surface to air heat seeking missile launcher
We will send out a service van periodicly to resupply your vehicle with ammunition, but other than that you will be on your own. Simply put, you must keep going as long as you can. If you can destroy enough of the enemy’s forces, we will be able to spare additional vehicles to replace your original one if damaged or destroyed. Good Luck!
Lumpy: Ah, good old Spy Hunter. I remember once seeing this game “hang” – the player drove into the resupply barn, and then the BARN started moving along the roadway! (The steering wheel was unable to control it, though.)
Oh my ears are bleeding! Do you know what it’s like to listen to the same scratchy 30-second clips of Aerosmith songs over and over while guys pop up to get shot at while overacting? I hate my life.
(Guess that one!)
Revolution X.
“A mole!” <WHACK> “Got him!”
“Another mole!” <WHACK> “Got him!”
“Another mole!” <WHACK> “Damn it, missed him!”
“Another mole!” <WHACK> “Got him!”
“Another mole!” <WHACK> “Got him!”
“Another mole!” <WHACK> “Missed again!”
“Another mole!” <WHACK> “Got him!”
(repeat for 17 hours)
Civilization II.
A damn near impossible one for you. (Hint, it’s published by a company called “Battlefront”):
INTEL indicates there’s a platoon of BTRs in the woods up ahead about 2 km. The ridgeline about 1/2 click ahead of me [NORTH RIDGE 030060 NE to 030068] ought to cover me and my town. Cautiously, we move forward into hull down position into overwatch position on the town below. I order the guys into idle, and have a fire mission start dropping single rounds to zero in a TRP. One: Adjust 300m north, 50 east. Two: Adjust 50m south, even on east/west. Third round: my tank goes “plink”. What the. . .
Almost immediately from across the valley, 8 HE shots from T-80s rip into the trees at my position. Watching the heat signatures, my four Abrams return fire at the apparent position of our assailants and return fire in volume. The next thing I know, Spandrel ATGMs are flying at me from my left flank! Aw shit! I hop on the intranet “Fire for effect, fire for effect!”. . .
Tripler
True story. Or how it seemed when I played the game.
Reminds me very much of the original arcade version of STAR WARS.
Primitive, but so much fun.
“Okay… collect my gear, then I’ll be ready to move out.”
Backpack full of ammo… ooof, this thing weighs a ton! What’s in here, anyway?
One pump-action shotgun… about 7 pounds.
One sawed-off double-barrel shotgun.... TWO shotguns? Oh, well, I guess it's quicker than reloading. About 5 pounds.
One rapid-fire double-barrelled flechette gun… cool, but, jeez… that’s another 20 pounds!
Hey, now… ANOTHER flechette gun? A GATLING flechette gun? A badass weapon, sure, but you want me to carry this TOO? (sigh) There’s another 30 pounds."
Semi-auto grenade launcher! All right! But can’t I drop something else and … no? (expletive deleted) Another 15 pounds, then. Damn, I’m going to be in awesome shape when this mission’s over.
A ROCKET LAUNCHER TOO??? My God, people, what am I going up against… King Kong?? This thing must weigh 40 pounds! You want me to drag it along behind me on a cord???
All right, guys, look… I have to draw the line here. I’m NOT carrying your damn untested prototype plasma-bolt rifle! I am NOT! Even if it didn’t weigh another 25 pounds… I’m. Just. NOT!
My pension? What about my pension?? Oh, crap… okay, okay… hang it over my other shoulder, this one’s full.
AAAUUUUGGGGHHH!!! I. AM. NOT. Paul. Bunyan! A freakin’ AXE is NOT a field combat weapon!! That’s 10 pounds of mass that won’t even hit a damn target more than 3 feet away!! You really expect that I’m going to use up ALL this ammo on a target and then finish it with an AXE!!!
(several minutes of profanity) “Okay, you bastards… I’m movin’ out… going after… the bad guys… (thump, clatter)… OOF!”
“Aw, crap… somebody help me up, willya?”